Chapter 293: A Gift
Accidental Surrogate for Alpha
Sinclair
Agony.
Itâs agony for me â obviously, more for my mate, Iâm sure â but watching her survive this is ripping me
apart.
I struggle against Rogerâs grip â he shouldnât be stronger than me, heâs never stronger than me, I
should be able to break away â but something about all of this has just taken it out of me. I am weak,
now, watching my mate struggle for her life, watching my son take his first breaths, that rips the energy
from me. I gasp for breath, panicked, looking between my Ella and the baby in the doctorâs hands.
âRelax,â Roger commands, his voice low behind me as he holds me back with a hand on each of my
arms. âLet them work. You canât do anything right now. Theyâll call you when they need you.â
I know heâs right, but the impulse â I have to do something â
Still, I stand with my brother, letting him take control as I watch Hank and Cora moving, blessing them
in my mind with every breath that pants from my lips. Ella lays back against the pillows, pale, breathing
faintly, apparently half conscious and half out.
The pair of doctors move fast. Hank glances over the crying child and then quickly hands him to Cora,
reaching for the medical bag that sits on the bed between them. Cora does a quick inspection of the
baby and then hastily cuts the umbilical cord. Then, she meets my eyes.
âCome and take your child, Dominic,â she demands, wrapping him hastily in the scrap of a pillowcase
that I tore to pieces not long ago. âHeâs fine â but Ella needs both Hank and I right now.â Roger
releases my arms and I move forward, my eyes half on my beautiful Ella as I take the baby from Coraâs
hands. I canât â how can I greet my son when his mother â
âThe child,â Cora says, holding my gaze for a brief moment before turning back to Ella. â Concentrate
on the baby, Sinclair. Weâve got Ella for now.â
And so I do. I look down at my infant son, crying his lusty little heart out, waving his little tiny fists in the
air. Something in me takes over something Iâm not sure I knew was there â as I begin to shush my
child, to rock him, to try to bring him to a peaceful state in this scary new world. Slowly, softly, I raise my
hand to wipe at the liquid on his face, to clear it, marveling at the fact that his entire head is completely
dwarfed by the size of my palm
And then, following an impulse thatâs totally new to me, I lean forward and bring my face close to my
sons, pressing a kiss to his head and taking a deep breath of his new baby scent, totally new and,
somehow, already totally his own. âWelcome, baby,â I murmur.
From the corners of my vision I can see Cora and Hank working swiftly with their medical supplies,
Hank sewing quickly while Cora crouches by Ellaâs head, taking her pulse and smacking her cheeks a
little.
When I hear Cora call Ellaâs name, my attention snaps away from Rafe and to the sisters on the bed.
âElla,â Cora says, and I see my mate â oh, thank god â I see her blink, and focus on her sister, her face
ashen and white. Unbidden, I come to Ellaâs side, determined to be with her â to give her everything I
can.
Cora ignores me as I take my mateâs hand, the baby curled in the curve of my other arm.
âElla,â Cora demands, steady. âItâs time to access the gift. You need it. Ask her to heal you.â
Slowly, Ella nods her head and closes her eyes. But I donât know if thatâs becauseâ¦.because sheâs
accessing the gift? Or something elseâ¦
Something much much worse. I open my mouth, panicked, to call her name, but Cora snaps her
attention to me and shakes her head.
And so I close my mouth, and squeeze my mateâs hand, and let her do her work.
Ella
Itâs terribly hard to do anything right now to think, to concentrate, to communicate â let alone enter the
calm meditative state I need to access my motherâs gift.
My body is wracked with pain, and I donât know whether itâs blood loss from Hankâs medical cut, or
some sort of tear within me, orâ¦something else. But my vision fades in and out from a hazy view of the
palace bedroom and utter blackness.
But still, in the brief moments when I can concentrate, I see Sinclair standing by my side, feel his hand
in my own, and see our little baby wrapped up in a sheet in his arm â
Just as he was in the dream state
And I find new determination within me. So, working hard to steady my breathing, to not slip into
oblivion, I close my eyes and work to access that state.
Itâs harder than itâs ever been but, eventually, I get there. I watch the insides of my eyelids fade from
black and red to that cool lavender, and I feel the balm of my motherâs gift begin to wash over me from
the inside. Passively, I wonder what my family is seeing â
I wonder if Iâm glowing, as Cora was, that day by the temple steps.
Or if, perhaps, they canât see anything at all â if the gift is working inside me, and theyâre just holding
their breaths, hoping that Iâm notâ¦Iâm not slipping awayâ¦
I feel it take hold of me, though, like a motherâs welcoming arms. I feel cradled within its warmth, and
can almost hear her â the Goddess, my mother whispering to me that she will make it right.
â That for all Iâve given the world, I have earned this, and that she will make it right.
The magic runs slowly through me like rainwater through grass, seeking the roots of me, wanting to
refresh but taking its time getting there. But as it seeps through every inch of me, I feel slowly renewed.
I feel an ease return to me.
When I open my eyes, everyone is standing around me, staring at me, their faces shocked. I take a
deep breath and look around at the four of them. But I ignore them all, focusing only on the bundle of
white blankets resting on my mateâs arm.
The little baby. Who is not crying.
âRafe,â I cry, working hard to sit up, a little rill of pain shooting through me. I grimace at it â apparently,
whatever the goddessâ gift did, it didnât fix me completely â but mostly I ignore it, reaching for my son.
âItâs all right, Ella,â Sinclair says, quickly kneeling by my side and offering my son to me. Tears slip
down my cheeks and Iâm surprised to find that Iâm suddenly sobbing as I take my baby into my arms for
the first time.
As I lay my eyes on my childâs face.
âBaby,â I whisperâcry, my chest heaving as relief floods through me to see that he is fussy and
unhappy, but not sad, not hurt â justâ¦.adjusting to his new world. He flinches angrily as my tears fall
onto his perfect little face, making me laugh. âSorry, baby,â I murmur, brushing them away. Sorry about
that. Mamaâs not always like this.â
âItâs all right, Ella,â Sinclair whispers quietly behind me. âHeâs safe â youâre safe a few tears on his face
are not the worst part of his day ââ
âPoor little baby,â I sob, a smile breaking out on my face even as I cry, my whole body a mix of
emotions happiness, and guilt, and worry, and joy â all mixing together so that I donât know who or how
I am anymore.
Except, I know that Iâm a mother. Iâm his mother.
That, finally, I know is true.
âLetâs give them a minute,â Roger whispers. âWould that be all right?â
I hear Hank murmur his medical assent and look up, suddenly, to see the three of them moving away
Cora climbing off the bed and beaming at me.
âWeâll be back soon,â she whispers to me. âYouâre fine, Ella â the gift did its work. You justâ¦.take a
minute. Say hello to your child.â
I nod, smiling back at her and wiping away my tears. And then, the three of them troop out of the room
together.
And Iâm left alone, with my perfect little family.
My mate, my son, and me. Complete.