Chapter 10

Damon

I said it , the reason behind the guilt that had been fucking consuming me since she returned … I needed to tell her anyway . Her porcelain doll – like face stayed in its perfect mask , yet I could feel her pain , hear her racing heart and see the way her fingers trembled ever so slightly on that donut .

Her eyes , which were so fucking unique and perfect , looked at me , but there was n o hatred there .

Dammit I fucking hurt her … I’m fucking Sorry , Raven . ” Raven ? ” I whispered closing the gap between us , but she suddenly snapped out of it , despite her erratic heartbeat .

Thanks for telling me . Do you have anything else to say ? ” She asked with a blank face . 1 frowned , slightly concerned . Shit , I didn’t know what to say … Fuck it .

1 stepped closer , pulling her tightly into m y arms . I didn’t care if the donut went everywhere , I just needed to tell her I’m fucking sorry . Her fresh floral scent and the beating of her heart soothed me .

That emptiness I felt inside seemed to lift and I inhaled her scent for a split second before she pulled away roughly . ” Don’t touch me without my permission . ” She growled . ” Now get out . ” I fucking felt like shit , but it was a little late for that . If anything ,

I needed to fix things with her , with Liam …. ” Sure , I’ll leave , but I am sorry Raven . ” I said softly , reaching for her face only for her to move away from my touch . ” Out . ” She said icily . I looked into her gorgeous face ; her pouty lips with that cupids bow … Her slender frame , with those small round breasts of hers and curved hips . She was fucking perfect … I turned away , wishing things could have been different .

There was one more visit I needed to make tonight , and I wanted to get it over with . I left her room , shutting the door behind me , walking down the stairs to see Raven’s dad just step inside . ” Oh hey , Mr Jacobs . ” I said , giving the man a smile .

He gave me a small smile . ” Damon , it’s nice to see you here , catching up ? ” ” Yeah , ” I replied , with a small smile . He nodded in approval . ” What’s that ? ” He asked , looking at the jam on my T – shirt .

I smirked , ” Raven being Raven . ” I said . He shook his head chuckling .

” She never changes . ” ” It’s what’s great about her . ” I said giving her mom a small wave . I glanced back up the stairs , but she hadn’t followed.

Well , can I blame her ? I had fucking hurt her … I left the Jacobs home and headed towards the packhouse where Robyn lived . I did need to tell her about Raven , and I knew even this was going to fucking hurt . I entered , it was pretty silent .

I could hear a few of the teens in the game room , and I first went to the laundry room to grab a random clean shirt . I don’t really care who the hell it belongs to . I then made m y way upstairs to her room , knocking lightly on the door . ” Who is it ?

” ” The big bad wolf . ” I replied . Her soft laughter followed before the door was pulled open and she pulled me inside , kissing my lips softly . But instead of pulling her into my arms and kissing her back , I moved back , casting her a small smirk . I shut the door , not missing how she was observing me .

10 She was gorgeous , with warm brown skin , dark brown eyes and her black hair , which was currently open . She was so different from Raven , yet still beautiful , She wore a crop top and tiny shorts that left her thick thighs and sexy booty on display .

” Ok , I know that face . What’s up ? ” She asked concerned before she tugged me to the bed . I looked at her calculatingly . How the fuck do I do this ? I needed to end , for a moment I remembered how I felt when Kiara ended it with me .

Although we had just been sex partners , it had fucking hurt www . ” I uh … ” I ran my hand through my hair a s she sat next to me , crossing her legs and placing a hand on my arm , concern clear in her face . ” Damon , you’re scaring me , babe . ” I stared ahead , my hands crossed in front of my mouth . ” You know Raven ? ” I began glancing at her .

She frowned , a pour on her plump , lush lips . ” Yeah ? ” ” Well , it’s just that … We need to end this . ”

I muttered . She looked confused for a moment , before her heart thudded in her chest and I knew she understood what I had just said .

I stared into those chocolate eyes of hers seeing the hurt in them . *** ” I … I never knew you and Raven were ever something … I know you talked about her , but I thought you were just friends … ”

She whispered , now staring at her hands , examining her painted nails .

I reached over and took her hand . ” She’s my mate . ” I said quietly . Robyn’s eyes closed and I heard her suck her breath in . Shit . Thanks to my selfish reasons , I had hurt two women … She slowly pulled out of my hold , moving away from me on the bed .

Her chest was rising and falling heavily , but despite that , she was trying to hold herself together . ”

Shit Damon … She’s your mate … How long have you two known ? ” ” Three years . ” I said quietly .

Her eyes flashed and a frown creased her forehead .

” So then why did you even get involved with me ? ” She asked , unable to hide the hurt in her voice . ”

I fucking don’t know … I just … You fucking made me feel better . ” I said , feeling like shit . She nodded , placing her forehead in her hand . ” Fuck … That day she returned , no wonder you pulled away ; I thought for a moment it was strange .

Then I thought maybe you two had dated , but then I thought no … I thought you had shared stuff with me … But I never thought she was your mate . What must she have fucking been thinking ?! ” She snapped now , jumping off the bed .

She grabbed a pillow and whacked me across the head . ” You are such a fucking dickhead ! ” Ok , maybe I deserved that . ” I’m sorry , Robyn . ” I said softly . ” You should be apologising to your mate , not me ! ” She shook her head .

” Get the fuck out Damon , we are fucking done . ” ” T ” Yeah , that’s why I came ” OUT ! ” She snapped and I got up , I was literally losing someone else important to me . I didn’t say anything . Casting one last glance at her , she had her back to me , but her heart was racing erratically .

I left , closing the door behind me but I didn’t move , leaning against the wall and closing my eyes .

Silence . For a few minutes , there was nothing , until I heard the stifled sobs coming from inside the room . I closed my eyes . She had waited for me t o leave … Dammit … Tonight I had hurt two women I cared for , I really need to talk to Liam like fucking for real.

We needed to sort our shit out , one way o ranother . I headed home , unlocking the front door . I stepped inside , the television was on which meant Mom was still downstairs .

I walked through to the living room , sighing inwardly when I saw the empty beer bottles that were strewn across the floor . As for my mom , she was sitting on the coach , her arms wrapped around her legs . Fuck , another bad day , I should have come home sooner . ” Hey , Momma . ” I said brightly , picking u p a few bottles when I entered the room .

She looked up , her heart thundering as she looked around , as if searching for something , A shaky , hopeful smile crossed her face before it vanished . ” Damon , where’s your dad ? ” She asked . I placed the bottles down and dropped onto the couch next to her . The smell of alcohol was strong in the air and Mom was a mess . ” Momma … Dad ain’t- ”

” He must have gone to Elijah . He called him , right ? Is he coming home soon ? You know , as Beta , he has a lot going on . ” She said to me , her voice shaky , her eyes . blurring with tears . 2 It fucking hurt .

Nearly three and a half years had passed since Dad was killed , but Mom had never overcome it . She lived in the past , and with each passing year , I was losing her a little more . Sometimes she was numb , sometimes she thought he would return , sometimes she completely refused to believe he was gone , sometimes she’d just relapse into breaking down and sobbing over his loss all over again .

” He’d want you to go to bed on time and get your rest . ” I said quietly , smiling at her . She shook her head . ” No … No , Aaron prefers me waiting for him . Why are you lying ?! ” ” Ok , I’m sorry . Come on , how about you wait upstairs for Dad so I can get this place cleaned ? ”

” Wait , is that him ? ” she suddenly perked up , staring into the corner , unseeing . The loss of a mate … Some people recovered but many weren’t able to survive it . As for Mom , she was a shell of the person I once knew .

Losing Dad that night , having to take up that position as Beta , being here for Mom , trying to hold it all together it wasn’t fucking easy … I know I’m not doing a good job at it . everything with Liam and Raven , losing the last of my closest friends in one go had been another hit , and the fear of losing either forever had messed me u p . The fear that if I went after my mate and Liam did something in anger scared me .

I kept away from her . I didn’t make the right choices , I know that , but what was I meant to do ? Uncle El had lost his dad , sister and best friend , then Liam wanted to leave and he hadn’t wanted anyone to know about our situation .

I couldn’t stress his parents out anymore by telling them the truth , so l stayed fucking silent , hoping things would better . But every message I sent , he refused to acknowledge . Every email , every social media DM , he blocked me from everywhere .

That’s when Robyn had entered my life and we began to connect , soon she became that happy place for me . Even if it didn’t complete me , it took the edge off the gaping hole in my fucking chest . 2 Mom began sobbing , bringing me out of my thoughts as I pulled her into my arms , rocking her gently .

” Your dad’s not talking to me , he’s not replying , he blocked me from the link ! ” She sobbed , clinging to me . ” I know … It’s going to be ok . ” I whispered , stroking her hair . When would things become easier ? Moonlight Muse Author Thank you for reading , please share.