Chapter 78
Caged Between the beta & alpha
Ravenâs father was committed , and although I knew the Alpha had set his punishment , I still wanted to tell Liam about it .
Iâm angry at him .
So fucking mad at what he did .
But past his split personality , there was that part of him that I knew .
I wouldnât be able to forgive him easily ⦠If ever .
I donât know if I could ever call him a friend again either .
Looking back , I think that ended a few years ago .
I was maybe just stuck in a fucking illusion that things would work out ⦠It did fucking hurt ⦠but life was shit like that .
I entered the cells and unlocking the door , entered his cell .
He was sitting there , his eyes closed , his hair that he always had gelled and styled was lying messily over his forehead .
His eyes opened and met mine , they looked ⦠broken .
I knew heâd feel it , but maybe this is the punch he needs to realise that he can be in fucking control .
He needs to take control o f his own shit .
Neither of us spoke for a while , and Liam looked away first .
â What do you want ?
â He asked quietly .
â Ravenâs father was trialled today , heâs been given one hundred and fifty silver lashes .
Heâll then be placed under house arrest and stripped of any rank or status h e had .
I thought , despite everything , you might want to know â¦
â I said , clenching m y jaw .
â Thanks ⦠â He replied .
Gone was the cold arrogance that had surrounded him since his return .
All I saw was his emptiness .
â Who will deliver the punishment ?â He asked quietly .
â I thought Iâd ask Alpha Elijah if I could .
â I said .
He nodded , with the tiniest of smiles that didnât reach his eyes crossing his lips .
â Will you also deliver mine ? â He asked , looking up at me .
An emotion in his eyes that I couldnât read unnerved me .
My heart thumped and I stepped back , narrowing my eyes .
â What ?
â â My trial is in two days , I donât want Dad t o suffer .
What I did ⦠Iâve caused him even more pain ⦠My punishment wonât be small , and it shouldnât be â¦
but I donât want Dad to do it .
You can tell her it was m y wish that you do it .
â â Donât want me to look like the bad guy ? â I asked , unable to hide the bitterness from my voice .
â He â No , because youâre all she has now ⦠â said .
â What I did deserves capital punishment and I expect no less , so ⦠be there for her .
â I sighed heavily .
He wasnât making it easier to hate him .
â I never wanted you to step aside , I was willing to make it work , all three of us .
Raven is loving , she would have been able to treat us both well .
â
â That wonât happen because I always believed that itâs one to one , thereâs no space for a third .
Thereâs no point in discussing it ⦠I no longer deserve her , so good luck .
â He said .
â Not after what I did .
â Youâre giving up because of what you did â¦.
but you still love her .
â I said quietly , hating that I couldnât just hate him fully even if Iâd not forgiven him .
â I do , more than anything , but what I did was unforgivable and itâs a little fucking late .
When we love someone ⦠we do whatâs best for them .
â He said , running his hand down his face and massaging his jaw .
His beard had grown too .
â Yeah , we do .
â I said quietly .
â I just kept her stuck in the middle ⦠in this constant tug of war .
Not anymore .
â Our eyes met , and I nodded .
â I heard from her that you two were going to reject one another ⦠â He said quietly .
â Yeah ⦠I realised that you would never accept it working between us and she was hurting .
You ruined it all .
â
He nodded , staring down at his hands .
â Thanks ⦠for telling me about the trial ⦠â I nodded , looking at him .
Something told me that with this clarity ⦠Maybe just maybe , this was the push Liam needed to defeat the darkness inside of him .
I turned away and paused .
I needed to speak my thoughts and so I glanced back at him .
â Nothing is over until you let it be .
Thereâs goodness in you , Liam .
Find it ⦠Embrace it and let go of all the negative crap . I said quietly .
â We will always be here for you , to help you through it .
â I added , through the link .
No matter how fucking hard it is or how angry we are at you .
â Our eyes met for a moment before I turned and left the cell â¦
RAVEN Dadâs punishment was carried out the following day in the cells , at the hands of Damon .
Followed by being bandaged and returned to his home , where he would be kept under complete watch .
From what I heard , he wouldnât last longer than a few months at most .
Was it wrong that I didnât really care ? There were some people who hurt you , but you can still love them , but Dad ⦠There was n o space for that when I felt nothing but bitterness towards him .
I returned to training today and it seemed everyone had been warned to behave , either that or the truth about Dad had made a few people guilty .
Owen still acted like a prick but that was his nature and it wonât ever change .
After training , I had showered , got dressed and spent the afternoon pondering over everything .
What I needed to do and what I wanted .
I had now taken the photographs of Robyn and Damon and headed out to his i In the late afternoon .
I rang the doorbell , and he opened soon after , looking as handsome as ever .
I would always appreciate him , but I donât know what the goddess wanted , it was a mess .
â
Hey .
â He said , pulling me tightly into his arms .
I hugged him back , the tingles of sparks reminding me of our mate bond , but in life , there was a lot of bonds aside from the mate bond ⦠â Hey , how are you ? Was the lashing ok ? I didnât realise you would have to do it .
â I said quietly .
â I wanted to .
â He said , closing the door behind me .
â Ah ⦠I see ⦠Damon , I visited Liam the other day and he mentioned that he received a picture of us kissing ⦠â I said , taking a seat on the couch as I took out the envelope I had received too .
â Itâs what triggered him off before he came to find us The image of him marking me flashed through my mind , and that familiar squeeze in my chest urned .
Our happy moments , sad moments , painful memories ⦠all flashed before me .
â A picture of us kissing ⦠I received something similar ⦠.
â Damon said frowning .
Turning on his heels , he suddenly left the room before I could continue , I heard him run up the stairs .
My brows furrowed as I stared down at m y envelope .
Have we all received something similar ? Oh , how I wish I had mentioned this sooner .
Damon returned holding an envelope , now seeming to hesitate before he held it out to me .
â I got pictures too .
â I said softly , holding out the envelope of him and Robyn .
We took each otherâs envelopes and I slid the pictures out , my cheeks burning as I realised what this was â¦
Shit ! I quickly pushed the images back in .
The day Liam went down on me outside the Alphas â home ! I looked up at Damon , who looked utterly guilty as he looked down at his own pictures and pushed them back in , running his fingers through his curls .
â Iâm sorry you had to see these ⦠I uh ⦠guess itâs good that Liam only got a kissing picture ⦠â â Yeah ⦠â I said , shoving my pictures into my bag .
A tense silence followed before he spoke .
â Someoneâs trying to cause issues ⦠â â Owen ? â I said , frowning .
There was no one else who hated me as much as he did .
â I donât know ⦠Maybe it could be him .
He is a piece of shit ⦠Well , now that we know , weâll work on figuring it out .
â â Yeah .
â We both fell silent and I realised that somehow things really had changed .
â I went to see Liam too .
â Damon said quietly , making me look up at him sharply .
â He wants me to deliver his punishment .
â My heart thudded and I looked at him .
â Would you be able to ? â He smiled sadly .
â He doesnât want Uncle El to do it , knowing itâll be hard for him .
At the time I didnât think of it , but ⦠I think he knows how angry I am at him too , and this is probably the only way I can vent my anger â¦
He is my Alpha and thereâs not really a chance where I can vent my anger , so this is ⦠it .
â He frowned , as if he had just realised what he had said and closed his eyes .
I looked down at my chest squeezing . Yeah , that sounded like Liam ⦠â His punishment wonât be light , will it ? â â No.
â Damon said quietly .
I nodded .
I thought as much .
I now turned to him .
â Thank you for being an amazing friend and mate .
â I said softly , reaching out and taking his hand in mine , my heart pounding in my chest at what I was about t o do .
He smiled , a glimmer of sadness in his eyes .
We both knew he knew what was coming .
â Youâre no oneâs second choice and I wonât treat you as such .
I love you and I always will .
We will remain friends .
We havenât done anything that could make it awkward .
â I joked .
Damon nodded .
â I saw it coming ⦠You ⦠You seem different over the last few days ⦠Smiling less , more lost in thought ⦠but you seem t o be ⦠content .
â He brushed his fingers over my knuckles , sending a ripple of sparks through me .
â I seem to have gotten some clarity ⦠How can I love anyone when I donât even love myself â¦
â I said quietly .
â When Iâm so concerned about others â opinions and emotions ? Since the start Iâve felt like this thing , caged between the two of you , feeling guilty , torn and upset .
A king once told me that I need to stop trying to accept things , to think deeply about what I want â I want to be happy .
â He smiled warmly and there was no sadness in his eyes this time , just a look of understanding and pride .
â Iâm proud of you and I love you .
I always will , and Iâm still holding you to that chilling time as friends .
â I nodded vigorously , my hair falling in my eyes .
â Of course , you should ! â I said , the glow o of the setting sun warmed the room , gracing his skin beautifully , only enhancing the handsome man before me .
A man who was selfless and loving .
A smile that was completely genuine crossed my lips .
This time , there was no doubt or what â ifs .
I knew what I was doing and why .
I raised his hands to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on each hand .
For my happiness and for his .
â I Raven Jacobs , reject you , my amazing friend , Damon Nicholson , as my mate .
â I said softly , holding his hands to my chest .
But I will always cherish you as a friend .
â I , Damon Nicholson , accept your rejection .
â I will always love you .
We closed our eyes , feeling that painful pull that ripped through our chest .
Our hands were still combined .
I couldnât breathe for a few moments from the pain that jarred my body as I felt something snap and felt that emptiness settle somewhere deep inside .
Yes , it was painful , but once it was done , I felt better .
We opened our eyes slowly , gazing into each otherâs , my eyes sparkling with so many emotions .
Then , under that setting sun , we smiled at one another â¦..