Chapter 87
Caged Between the beta & alpha
Once Like Brothers DAMON Night had fallen and I was in the packhouse , in Liamâs office , trying to look at the tracker families in the pack â those who had the ability to hide their heartbeats â when there was a knock on the door .
â Enter .
â I had left the door unlocked since I was in here anyway .
The door opened and Robynâs familiar scent hit my nose before I glanced up .
She seemed surprised to see me alone , glancing around the room as if this was a mistake .
She was dressed in figure â hugging clothes consisting of a black vest top and denim high waisted jeans .
â I wonât bite .
â I said , smiling slightly .
That emptiness in my chest that she had once partially filled had only grown since the rejection .
It hurt .
It fucking hurt .
I pushed the thought away .
I donât think I ever had a chance anyway , I would always be second , whether that was simply because Raven and Liam always had a stronger connection or because I couldnât bring myself to fight for it and make matters worse .
One thing good about the rejection was that there was no holding on to hope that i It would never be .
There was no what if , or just maybe it could work .
It was done and I could look forward from here ⦠Itâll get easier ⦠I wasnât the only one who had shouldered a rejection .
Only recently , Channing , Taylorâs brother , had rejected his mate .
It was different as their marks would remain until the end but they had weakened the bond by a lot .
But if say , Anna took a new mate , and marked them , the mark could be lifted from Channingâs neck .
The mate bond ⦠it wasnât something simple ⦠â I thought Zack was here .
He asked me to check the anti â scent spray supplies .
â She said , holding the file over her breasts .
â Leave it with me .
Thanks for your constant help , Robyn .
Youâve always been really hands â on and organised .
â I said glancing down at the desk in front of me , remembering a conversation from about six months ago that I had overheard her having with her brother Rick â¦.
â
Youâre damn organised â¦.
Of course , I am ! Who knows , I may be a beta female ⦠It could just be in my genes to be organised and handle stuff .
The sound of her laughter echoed in my mind , and I knew back then that was the point where I should have told her I had a mate .
Was this karma ? â â Yeah sure .
So , thereâs nothing missing from the actual sprays , but there have been slight misses in the actual ingredients used to make them .
My bet is that someone has been sneaking a little here and there , then making their own .
â She said , brushing a coiled tendril of her hair back as she placed the file down , pointing something out .
Her heart was racing at our proximity .
I looked at where she was pointing and frowned .
â Thatâs minimal ⦠Things get spilt when creating the sprays , are you sure itâs not just a miscalculation ?
â I questioned raising an eyebrow .
She frowned , cocking an eyebrow .
â I donât make mistakes when it comes to things like this .
Damon , trust me , Iâm the one who checked the stocks for Rick last time .
â She replied snappily .
â Calm down , Iâm just saying .
â I said , smiling slightly .
She almost said something , the beginning of a smile on her lips before it vanished , and she shook her head , closing her eyes for a second .
â Yeah ⦠so ⦠I was thinking , maybe someone who has access to the supplies ⦠She said , smoothly moving away from me .
My chest squeezed slightly at her move , but I smiled softly as I stared down at the file .
I had lost everyone to the point where they walked away , and when it came to her , that was my fault , but I couldnât just delve into this fucking pain in my chest .
It was my choice to let her go , and to let Raven go ⦠Now I had to deal with the aftermath .
I nodded , and she turned away , hesitating before looking at me .
â Damon , are you ok ? â She asked , her voice sounding unsure .
I looked up at her , nodding .
H â Yeah .
She frowned , pursing her lips .
â I know you better than that , Damon .
Youâre hurting .
Do you want to talk about i t ? â She asked , fiddling with one of her rings .
I looked at her , I knew she was the one person I could lay my soul bare to , but it would just hurt , just as it would hurt Raven if I had told her how I felt .
Even though Raven talked to me daily , asking how I was and checking in on me , I couldnât tell her that the pain in my chest was crushing me .
Because I love her , and for her happiness , I let her go .
As for Robyn ⦠bond or not , she had loved me , I was not going to hurt her by abusing that .
â Iâm fine , thanks .
â I said just as the door opened and Liam stepped inside .
I frowned , instantly realising there was something different about him .
What was it ⦠My eyes widened , realising there was n o aura around him .
Although I knew it was usually suppressed , you could still tell when an Alpha walked into the room , and right now I felt nothing from him .
â Hi ⦠Iâm not disturbing right ?
â He asked , glancing between Robyn and I.
â No Alpha , not at all .
I was just bringing the list for the supplies ⦠â Robyn said before she walked past him towards the door .
â If you do want to talk , Iâm here .
I know the three of you have a complicated situation , and Iâm not trying to butt in , but if you just need an ear to listen â¦.
One who wonât ever judge ⦠Iâm here .
â Her words came in my head , my heart thundered as I looked at her back .
â Thanks ⦠Raven and I ⦠We rejected one another .
â I said quietly .
Her heart raced , she looked down but she didnât turn back .
â Oh ⦠Iâm sorry .
Then she was gone , shutting the door behind her .
Liam raised an eyebrow .
â All , ok ? â
â Yeah .
â I said , I knew that he knew that w e had been mind linking .
â Cool .
â I glanced at him as he came over , picking u p the file that Robyn had brought in .
He hadnât said anything about the rejection s o far ⦠I wouldnât either , Iâll let him bring i t up first .
â You were out all day , and your auraâs different .
Or more like , there just isnât one .
â
I asked as he dropped onto his chair .
He glanced up at me and frowned .
â I got a seal or two put on me ⦠just in case â He said quietly , after a momentâs KEP pause ⦠I frowned .
Didnât his dad say he was just going into town ? That meant he probably went to see Rayhan ⦠â Does your Dad know ? â â No , only you and Raven .
â
He said , frowning as he tossed the file down and looked up at me .
â I owe you a lot more than an apology â¦.
but Iâll start there .
Iâm not going to justify my shit , because even now I canât think of sharing my mate ..
but my behaviour ⦠it was wrong .
I fucked up a lot and in the process lost a lot .
â I watched him , sensing the guilt roll of him as he stared at his hands , his elbows resting on his legs , his head hanging .
â What Iâm trying to say is that Iâm sorry for treating you like shit ⦠That I saw and still see everything you did for me , Damon .
Iâm a total prick , but you bent over backwards to make me happy .
Youâve always put yourself aside .
You sacrificed everything for me and I realise I broke the very first promise I made to you years ago .
â His voice was hoarse , and I could hear the guilt laced with pain in it .
Promise ⦠Yeah , I remember it .
( FLASHBACK FOURTEEN YEARS AGO ) â
Liam , you won ! â I gasped , catching my breath , looking at the boy who was a little younger than me but was already slightly taller .
He smiled .
â Iâm sure you will win next time , Damon .
Rematch ? â â Ok ! â I said , â Three , two , ONE ! â We broke into a run , our feet barely hitting the earthy ground as we raced towards the line of trees .
I glanced at him , realising he was falling behind .
â Iâm winning , Liam ! Iâm going to win ! â I slammed my hand against the tree trunk , bursting into laughter as I stuck m y tongue out at him when he reached me moments later .
â Yeah , you did ! â He said , high â fiving me .
â Is it bad ? Youâre the Alpha .
You will always be number one .
You should be number one ! â He smiled at me , his eyes sparkling brightly .
â We are brothers .
There wonât be a first or second , we will always be a team .
I promise .
â He h Call ended out to me and I took it happily , noading .
â Yeah , we are brothers ! â
( END OF FLASHBACK )
I realised years later that he let me win here and there ⦠I was never stronger or faster than he was but he let me think that , but that was Liam for you ⦠Until that blood moon ⦠â Iâve treated you like shit and even then you have stuck by me â¦
You havenât made a move on Raven ⦠But I still hate you for it ⦠I acted like Iâd always share everything , and then I realised that she was the one thing I couldnât ⦠I hurt you , and I know youâre probably mad at me , which you should be , but Iâll try to do better .
Iâll make it up to you ⦠or Iâll at least try to .
â He said , running his fingers over his head , messing up his perfectly styled hair .
His words resonated in my head and I could hear the sorrow and vulnerability in his words , yet the strength and confidence of his determination to fix things shone through .
I moved away from the table , taking a seat in the chair opposite .
â I didnât mind any of your crap until you marked her ⦠that was my limit , and what was worse was I couldnât do anything I just watched .
â
â I know ⦠But itâs not your fault ⦠You couldnât do anything .
Thatâs something I wonât ever be able to forget .
Ever .
â He said , his brows furrowed .
â I know you let me lash you so I can vent my anger .
â I said quietly .
â Iâm not stupid , deep down I know my best friend and brother is in there ⦠Iâm seeing him coming out , a little by little .
I just hope that he fights this darkness and realises that his actions are hurting those around him .
â He nodded , looking across at me .
â Iâm going to try , thank you for being a friend , one I donât even deserve .
â â Thatâs what brothers are for ⦠We deal with each otherâs shit and are there for one another .
You were there for me when Dad died , Liam .
I wonât forget that â¦.
But I still want to punch you .
â I said , despite smiling at him .
â No one is stopping you .
.
â He replied , smirking .
I shook my head , â Who would have thought a girl would be the reason for our conflict .
â I said , feeling that stabbing pain inside of me .
*** â Yeah ⦠I love her ⦠and I know you do too So Iâm not going to stand in her way .
Iâm not an angel who is going to say yeah , Iâll share ⦠because I really canât , I have fucking tried to get my head around it .
Considered it even , but I canât .
I wonât expect her to choose me , I have to deal with the fact that Iâm not the only one in the running .
Itâs late ⦠I know â¦.
Itâs really late and I have a head start , but go for it .
Fight for her if you want to , if she wants you â¦
I wonât lie and say that I will be happy for you , Iâll fucking be jealous ⦠but Iâll accept it .
You are my beta and r my brother Damon , I donât want that to change .
Even if Iâm fucking too late to say i t or maybe Iâve destroyed any hopes of that , to a point of no redemption .
â My heart was racing , his words echoed in my mind , but it was his remark about Raven that threw me off .
Liam didnât know we had already rejected one another .