Chapter 281

Good, I think, smiling and waving to her. Now the boys will be distracted as well.

Georgia gives me a happy nod as she heads into the house, looking for the boys, and I pull my legs up onto the little loveseat as well, beaming at Delia and Emma.

“We’ll have some privacy now,” I say, smiling at them.

“Privacy,” Emma says, looking through the window at the house filled with people, “seems to be a…

relative term. In this house.”

“Oh, it’s not so bad,” I laugh, tucking my hair behind my ears and shaking my head. “You get used to it – it feels…I don’t know. Like a sports team, or something. Everyone working together towards the same goal. And most of the Betas go home at night.”

“Most of them?” Emma asks, raising her eyebrow. “We always had guards at mom and dad’s house, but we they were always outside the house.”

“Well, here to,” I say with a shrug. “Though I guess it’s…smaller.”

“I think it’s nice,” Delia says warmly. “I always liked a full house growing up.”

I c**k my head to the side and study the two of them, wondering what all of this house talk was getting to. “Are you guys thinking about moving in together or something?” I blurt suddenly, curious.

Emma blinks at me and then blushes, I think not really used to being asked about her private life so straightforwardly. After a life with Joyce, after all, she’s probably not used to anyone asking about her thoughts or her plans at all.

“Actually,” Delia says, unphased by my question (she knows me, after all) and taking Emma’s hand, “kind of…the opposite.”

“What?” I breathe, sudden horrified. “Are you – you’re not – you can’t be breaking up –“ I’m completely confused – they’re so obviously together. What the hell is going on?

“She’s being cryptic on purpose,” Emma says, sighing and smiling at her girlfriend, “because she wants you to guess. But I know you’ll have a panic attack if we don’t tell you right away –“

“Yah!” I agree, nodding eagerly, my eyes wide, “Please do!”

“Well,” Emma says, giving a little shrug and squeezing Delia’s hand. “We’re going to…go away for a while. Travel. A lot?”

“What?” I ask, not understanding. “Like…a trip?”

“Not really,” Delia replies, smiling at me. “More like…that’s how we’re going to live now. A little bit without-home, for awhile at least. We’re going to go wherever we want, whenever want to. Live in a city or a place for a couple of months at a time. Move on when the mood strikes us.”

“Oh my god,” I breathe, suddenly flooded with mixed emotions. “That sounds amazing…but…”

“But we’re going to miss you so much!” Delia finishes for me, reaching out to take my hand as well.

“Yes!” I agree, squeezing her hand and nodding. “I’m so excited for you! And like – jealous! I want to come! Can I abandon my children and go with you?!”

Emma and Delia laugh with me, but they know that I never would.

“Oh my god,” I say, leaning back against the loveseat, pressing my hands to my chest. “Oh no, I don’t want you to feel guilty, but I really am going to miss you so much. What made you decide to do this?!”

“Well,” Emma says, looking between Delia and me, “it was mostly me, I think. I’ve just been…it feels like, my whole life, I’ve been living…someone else’s life. Or the life that someone picked out for me.”

I nod, looking carefully at my sister, listening and understanding.

“First it was the life dad wanted,” Emma continues softly, “which I know you understand, Evelyn. And then, after that? It was…Joyce’s life. Joyce’s life, Joyce’s world, Joyce’s choices. I was…nobody. I feel like I completely lost myself, if I ever knew who I was to start with.”

My sister hangs her head a little, remembering it, and my heart goes out to her.

“Life with him was so hemmed in. I know that a lot of Lunas have felt the same, but in some ways…like, mom was always allowed to leave the house? Dad didn’t stop her from doing that?” Emma is choked now, as she looks down at the floor of the porch. “But Joyce – I wasn’t allowed to leave unless he gave me permission.”

I sigh, a little tremor of horror running through me at the life my sister lived, at the life I was supposed to have lived. And I know that it’s not because she was weaker than me – I would have collapsed to it as well. It was only my desperation to keep my children safe that propelled me to become strong enough to run, to build a life for myself, for Alvin and Ian.

“It’s been different,” Delia says, picking up where Emma left of. “Since we started…discovering our feelings for each other. And spending time for each other.”

“Little escapes,” Emma adds, nodding and starting to smile again. “But now that he’s gone? Now that you’ve given me that freedom, Evelyn?” Emma says, raising her eyes to shake her head in wonder at me. “I have…a liberty that I never could have imagined before.”

I am choked up, suddenly, by the emotion that rises in me. This, I think. This is why Victor and I want to lead. To give more people this kind of chance.

“So we’re running away!” Delia says, throwing her hands up and laughing, making Emma and I flinch a little bit and turn to her. I laugh too, then, realizing that Delia is right – it was getting too serious, too morose a conversation for something that is supposed to be happy.

“Yes,” Emma agrees, wiping at her eyes a bit, “I want to live my own life now. And that means with Delia. And I want to see the world, because I never have before.”

“That’s amazing,” I say, wiping at my own eyes. “But you have to send me postcards everywhere you go. And Alvin and Ian too, they’ll be so jealous if you only send them to me.”

“Not Victor?” Delia says, raising her eyebrow with a smirk.

“He can share mine,” I say, waving a dismissive hand. My sister and my friend laugh. “And,” I say, hesitating, “You have to come back in eight months.”

“What?” Emma asks, confused. “That’s such a short time – we won’t even have time to settle anywhere. Why?”

“Because,” I say, putting my hands to my stomach. “You have to meet your nieces.”

Emma and Delia pause for a second, and then they explode into noise – shouting with joy, jumping to their feet, throwing their arms around me and laughing, asking questions and kissing me and holding me close.

Did you tell them? Victor asks directly into my head as I laugh with Emma and Delia. Or did a bomb just go off on the front porch?

Smiling, I send Victor a little pulse of joy. So much for secrets, I say in response. Someone should probably tell Rafe. He’s the last to know.

Actually, Victor replies. Let’s just see how long it takes him to figure it out.

Game for it, I send him a little mental thumbs-up and put my head together with my sister and my friend, eager to discuss all of the details of their trip and tell them everything I know about the babies.