Chapter 86

#Chapter 86 – Christmas A few days later, Christmas morning dawns with a fresh fall of snow, which I’m glad to see. It’s been so long since we’ve had a white Christmas. It’s the boys’ first, actually.

They came tearing down the stairs at the break of dawn, eager for their presents, but I was ready for them, having slept down here on the couch after setting everything up.

“Mommy!” Ian had said, giving me a big hug. “How did you beat us down here? We woke up so early.”

I laughed and gave both of them a kiss. “I stayed down here all night! I wanted to see if Santa Claus would give me a Christmas kiss.”

The boys wrinkled their noses in disgust, making me laugh harder.

“Don’t kiss Santa,” Ian said, “he’s old.”

“Yeah,” Alvin said, picking up the thread of the conversation as he fell to his knees and started riffling though the wrapped presents. “Besides, you shouldn’t kiss anyone except daddy.”

I raise a hand to my cheek now, remembering that moment a few hours ago when my face had gone red with embarrassed surprise. The three of us had let the moment pass without comment – but still.

Why would they say that? They’d never seen me kiss their father – did they somehow know what happened?

Either way, it just deepened my conviction that we need to get out of here. It’s too complicated.

I stand by my little sink now, staring out the back window that overlooks the yard. The boys are out back, chasing each other in the snow with Archie nipping at their heels. I don’t know how they’ve been out there for two hours, but they show no signs of coming in.

Sighing, I turn to the stove and put the kettle on to heat.

Victor sent down a bunch of gifts, of course, but I haven’t seen him since the night of the hunt. Part of me is grateful – it’s easier this way, not having to face him. But the other part…

I glance down at the floor, remembering the feel of it pressed against my cheek, my bare breasts, as Victor knelt behind me, pulling my hips closer –

I shake my head, banishing the thought. Damnit. I can’t let myself remember it like that.

I glance out the window briefly and then do a double take, fear racing through my veins. I start and lean closer to the window, looking everywhere – the boys are gone, nowhere in sight –

Gasping, I push myself away from the counter and head for the door – where could be –

But then the door opens, and the boys stumble in, a cold blast of snow coming with them.

“Oh, thank god,” I say, my heartbeat still pounding with panic in my ears as I clutch my chest and take a deep breath.

“What’s wrong, mommy?” Alvin asks, coming close and staring up in my face.

“Nothing, baby,” I murmur. “I just couldn’t see where you went from the window. It scared me for a second.”

“We’re okay!” Ian says, flashing me his big smile. Archie shakes his fur, sending snow flying.

I take the three of them in and am grateful for the relief that runs through me. It’s fine. Everything is fine. I laugh a little, realizing how silly I’ve been. Things really have been too stressful lately. Inwardly, I can’t wait for Christmas and the wedding to be over so that we can move on from here.

I shake myself of the thought and clap my hands. “Okay boys,” I say, “snow clothes off, and then we’ll have a nice hot chocolate by the fire before dinner.”

Fifteen minutes later, the boys are in fresh, dry pajamas, cuddled up with their warm drinks. We’re listening to some music while the turkey finishes cooking in the oven. It’s just a small turkey – the three of us don’t need much – but I can’t help salivating, a little, at the delicious smell.

“Mama,” Alvin says, his eyes droopy with exhaustion from so much excitement and play. “Will Daddy come down to visit us for Christmas?”

I bite my lip, pausing. I’ve been dreading this question all day and am surprised that it’s just coming up now.

“I don’t know, baby,” I say, taking a deep breath. “He sent down all your presents, but he probably wants to spend Christmas with Amelia. She’s going to be his wife very soon, and they’re going to build a family.”

“But we’re his family,” Ian whines.

“I know, and you always will be,” I say. “But…things might be a little different, once your dad gets married.”

I see Alvin and Ian slowly contemplate these changes as they stare into the fire. They’re growing up so fast, I think, looking at them. And I’m always surprised by their maturity.

Watching them, I sigh and cuddle further under my blanket, glancing at my watch. The turkey will be finished soon, but I have to admit that a little part of me is sad that Victor has not come down for Christmas. For my boys, of course, I assure myself. They should see their father on the holiday.

Well, it is better this way, I decide. Victor and I should have clear boundaries. I’m grateful that Victor has not shown up, I think, nodding decisively. It would be too complicated –

As one, the three of us turn our heads towards a noise at the back door, watching it creak open. I can’t help the small smile that creeps onto my face as the boys yell “Daddy!” and throw their blankets off, rushing to greet him.

“Merry Christmas, boys,” Victor says, laughing softly as he kneels to give each of them a hug. “I’m sorry it took so long to get down here.”

“What did take you so long,” Ian says, pounding him on the shoulder with his little fist.

“It was a busy Christmas!” Victor says, laughing. “I spent the day with Amelia, and then we did some things for the wedding –“

“Mommy says it’s all going to be different after the wedding,” Alvin says, crossing his arms and pouting.

“Well,” Victor says slowly, glancing at me as he stands up and takes off his coat and scarf. “Things will be different. Amelia will be my wife. But we’ll have to see…”

He lets the conversation drift off, standing in my kitchen and locking eyes with me in the living room. I say nothing, letting him stand there, looking him over. As much as I hate it, I feel a hunger rise in me at the sight of him.

Slowly, he walks towards the living room as the boys run in, eager to show him all of their gifts.

“Merry Christmas, Evelyn,” Victor says, his voice low, stopping a few paces from me. I see his eyes sweep over me.

I know he feels the same craving that I do. Like a starving man before a feast.

“Thanks for coming down, Victor,” I say, breaking his gaze to look over at the boys. “It means so much to them.”

Victor says nothing, but I hear him sigh as he settles down on the floor. He rests his back against the couch where I’m sitting. I breathe in his smell, savoring it, while I cast my eyes over the dark hair on the back of his head.

God damnit, I think as I curl my hand into a fist, resisting the urge to run my fingers through his hair, to touch the tanned skin of his neck.

I don’t remember it being his hard to resist him, before.

I jump, realizing that the room has gone silent. Blinking, I refocus my eyes to see that the boys are staring at the two of us.

“Why are you closing your eyes, daddy?” Ian asks, frowning. “Are you asleep?”

“He’s not asleep, can’t you see that he’s clenching his teeth real hard?” Alvin answers, pointing.

Victor jumps a little, clearing his throat awkwardly.

I smirk, savoring the idea that I’m not alone in this. But then dread coils in my stomach. This is dangerous.

“Daddy, I’m really excited about the wedding,” Alvin says, fiddling with a toy train that he unwrapped earlier that day.

“Yeah, I like the wedding part,” Ian says, bringing over a book on astronomy to show his dad. “But do you have to marry stupid Amelia,”

“Yeah! I – “ Alvin starts, but Victor interrupts him.

“Boys,” Victor’s voice is low with warning. “You will speak of Amelia with respect. She’s my wife and my Luna, and she’ll be your stepmother, soon.”

Ian openly rolls his eyes, but Alvin hides his feelings a little better, looking back down at his train.

“What’s a Luna, daddy?”

I frown, surprised to hear him ask. I know that he already knows the answer.

“A Luna is what you call an Alpha’s mate,” Victor says, and I can hear surprise in his voice as well.

“Amelia is my mate, so she is my Luna. And in a few days, she’ll be my wife.”

“If Amelia is your Luna,” Alvin says slowly, still looking innocuously down at his train. “What is mama?”

I frown at this as well. Where are they getting these questions?

“Your mother is my…very dear friend. And very special to me, because we have the two of you.”

Ian rolls his eyes at this. “Yeah, but doesn’t mama get a special name too? Because she’s your –“

Alvin sends a glare Ian’s way and Ian stops mid-sentence. The boys simply stare at each other, communicating in that special way of theirs.

“What are you talking about, boys?” I ask, sitting up straight.

“Nothing,” Alvin says, looking at me guilelessly. I turn my attention to Ian, who is usually more forthcoming.

He just shrugs. “Alvin says I can’t say.”

I open my mouth to say more, but right at that moment, the alarm on the oven goes off. I roll my eyes and stand to go and check on it, frustrated at my boys for keeping secrets, or interfering, or…well, whatever it is they’re up to.

“Are you staying for dinner, Victor?” I call over my shoulder, bending down to check on the turkey.

“Sure, I’ll have a bite,” Victor says. “I told Amelia I’d be up at the house before long. We’ve still got a lot of work to do.”

“That’s fine,” I murmur, pulling the turkey out and sniffing deeply. It smells amazing.

Alvin comes to help me set the table as I put the final touches on dinner. He chatters to me about how much he likes his gifts, but I keep feeling my attention drawn back to the living room where Victor and Ian sit together.

Blocking Alvin’s chatter out, I focus my hearing, listening in.

“What is it that Alvin won’t let you say to your mom?” Victor asks in a whisper, pretending to look through the astronomy book with him.

“That mommy isn’t your Luna,” Ian whispers back. “But she’s something else. We know. We can see it.”

I straighten up, staring at them both, giving up any pretense at not listening.

Victor frowns at him. “What are you talking about?”

“We saw it! At the ceremony, when you tried to bring mommy into the pack. You didn’t bring her in – but something else happened that day – something magic -“

“That’s nonsense,” Victor says, sternly. “I don’t want to hear any of this ever again, Ian. I’m marrying Amelia in two days’ time, and that’s final. She’s my Luna, the only one for me.”

I stare at them both, shocked and confused. I agree with Victor – it is nonsense, they shouldn’t talk about it – but…

There is also something familiar to what Ian is saying. I remember it, that day, a turning within me, a move towards Victor, our words to one another –

I am pulled out of my reverie by the feel of a tug on my hand. I look down, seeing Alvin staring up at me.

“It’s true, mama,” he whispers. “We saw it.”

I squeeze his little hand and say nothing, looking back into the living room where Ian and Victor sit silently.

If I felt it, and they saw it…

Suddenly, the door creeks open again and we all spin, looking as Edgar comes into the room.

“Woo!” He says, shaking snow from his hair. “It’s really starting to come down out there. Merry Christmas, everyone!” He gives us a big smile that falters as we all stare at him blankly, each of our minds totally elsewhere. “Am I…interrupting something?”