Chapter 47

The silent baby.

(Anna)

“It will happen.” Eliza tells me as she lifts a crying Thomas from my arms. He won’t feed from me; I just

can’t seem to get him to latch. It swear if one more person tells me it’s perfectly normal. I might start

getting stabby. I watch with resentment as Eliza puts a bottle to Thoma s’s mouth and he starts

suckling like he’s being starved.

“There is something wrong with me.” I wipe at the tears rolling down. my face as Eliza sits on the end of

the hospital bed.

“No there isn’t. You just need practice: I’ve seen loads of females go through this.” Eliza tells me as she

starts to rock Thomas gently from side to side, she’s barely moving but I can see his eyes starting to

close.

“How do you know how to do that?” I ask her, amazed.

“I’m part of a big family and an even bigger pack. You pick up a trick or two surrounded by all those

females.” This is the first time Eliza has mentioned her family to me or her pack, she’s so closed off

after everything my brother did to her. “I think Fraction will be back soon, he ran out of here shouting

something about babies needing blankets.” I laugh at Eliza’s words.

“It’s been a shock to the system for both of us. Neither of us got to truly enjoy the pregnancy before

Thomas was here. No one taught me how to do this, what if I destroy him? What if he grows up to be a

giant ball of anxiety like me?” I whisper my fears into my lap knowing Eliza heard me.

“Are you planning on going somewhere?” I shake my head at her with

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wide eyes, “then you have all the help you need. Venture out of that pack house and I bet there is a

horde of females dying to help the new Luna.” I smile at her words.

“Are you staying?” I have wanted to ask for a while, but I didn’t know how to broach the topic. Eliza

sighs, handing Thomas back to me.

“I don’t know. Did Rick tell you he’s, my mate?” I shake my head no: I sort of knew but I’ve been in my

own head a lot lately. “He wants me to stay here but honestly I can’t see ever wanting a man to touch

me again.”

“I get that. As much as I adore Fraction, the mere thought of his touch sent me into a panic when I got

back. I can only imagine what it’s like for you having been there for so long.” I tell Eliza trying to show

her I understand her feelings.

“How did you get past it?” She asks me in a small voice.

“I will let you know when I do.” I give her a small smile, “one day at a time.”

“Sound advice if you ask me.” Momma Beth says from the doorway, “sorry ladies I couldn’t wait any

longer.” She strolls confidently over to the side of the bed and holds her hands out. Gently, so I don’t

wake Thomas, I hand him over. “Ooooo come to mama.”

“Mama?” I ask her with a little giggle.

“My right to choose until he can talk. Oh, what a beauty.” The love shining off Momma Beth’s face is

addictive; I can’t help but smile along with her.

“He won’t feed Momma.” Momma Beth looks up at me with sad eyes.

“He’s not latching?” She asks me in a soft voice. I shake my head no.

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says

bed.

“I agree. When he is ready, he will, just remember babies can feel what we are feeling. So, if you are

anxious and worried, he will feel it.” Momma Beth says as she looks down at Thomas. “He looks well

so he’s not starving. Bottles will do him no harm even if it’s for the long term.”

“You sure?” I’m worried that all the baby books say breasts are best.

“Fraction was bottle fed; he wouldn’t latch. And he has grown into a perfectly fine man, don’t believe

everything you read. Babies can’t be scripted Anna. Just follow your gut and you can’t go wrong. You

might think you can’t do this but trust me, you can.” I smile at her: Momma Beth has a knack for

offering great advice just when you need it most.

“I think we should like them to get some sleep, it’s been a long day. Eliza says to us both. Momma Beth

nods and places Thomas next to

me.

“Thanks guys.” I whisper as they walk out of the room, closing the door behind them.

I watch as Thomas pumps his little fists into the air and then settles into a peaceful sleep. He looks so

soft, and I can’t help but think I am going to mess him up somehow, it’s not like I have a strong parental

guide to work on. I suppose Fraction will have to take the lead on this. one. It’s then that I realise

Fraction has been gone most of the day, just as I am about to reach out to him over the bond the door

opens, and he walks into the room.

“Sorry Little Wolf.” I went to get this. Fraction comes over to Thomas and carefully lays a baby blue

blanket over Thoma s’s lower half.

“What’s this?” I reach out touching the blanket, I thought it would be

The silent baby

208 Vouchers

rough and scratchy but it’s actually soft like a feather.

“It was my baby blanket.” Fraction smiles down at Thomas. I watch as he walks around the bed and

climbs on behind me. “Ready for a nap, Little Wolf?” I nod my head as I feel my eyes closing, leaning

my head back into his chest I let his heartbeat settle me into sleep.

«Fraction)

I wake with a jolt; Thomas is awake and just chilling next to Anna. Carefully getting off the bed, I try not

to wake Anna. She just birthed my son; she deserves some rest. As I walk around the bed, I can’t help

but notice how beautiful Anna looks laid next to Thomas. She is laid on her side so her arm is sort of

resting next to Thomas, she looks like she can grab him at any second even though she’s in a deep

sleep.

“Hey little guy.” I coo at Thomas as I carefully pick him up, careful to cradle his head I settle him into my

arms. With one arm under his head and one under his tiny butt I start walking back and forth along the

room.

“I’m you daddy, I’m the one who is always going to be here for you. One day I will teach you all about

running the pack and how to talk to women. Me and you are always going to be best friends.” I speak in

a low voice; I want to talk to Thomas, but I don’t want to wake Anna. Thomas watches me with tiny blue

eyes, they are so much like Anna’s it’s actually amazing how this tiny person can hold aspects of both

of us. I can already see his nose is going to be like mine and something tells me he’s going to have my

face shape too. Other than his looks just like me in my mother’s baby picture books.

eyes

he

I keep walking as Thomas stuffs his tiny fist into his mouth and starts suckling. “You hungry? Let’s get

you a bottle.” Walking over to the small counter I start to prepare a bottle, Anna doesn’t like that he

won’t feed from her. I think she sees it as a failing on her side, I sent my mother in to reassure her

earlier but I’m not certain it worked.

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The silent baby

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Breastfed or bottle fed, it won’t change how much he is loved.

As soon as I lift the bottle to Th oma s’s little pouting mouth he latches on and starts suckling for all

he’s worth. “He’s going to suck the te at right off that.” Anna’s soft voice reaches my ear. Looking up I

see her in the same place but with her eyes open.

“Go back to sleep, Little Wolf.” I whisper as I sit on the chair to continue feeding Thomas.

“I wish he would feed from me.” I hear the sadness in her voice.

“Doctor Lee said you can keep trying, at least with the bottle I can support you on feeds.” I watch as

she smiles at me, and her eyes flutter closed. “Mummy is going to sleep.” I whisper to Thomas.

Thomas blinks his little eyes up at me and keeps suckling, he’s a little strange for a new born. He

hasn’t cried yet which I find concerning, what if there is something wrong? I haven’t mentioned it to

Anna because she has enough to worry about right now. I think once I have some time alone, I will do

some reading about why he’s not crying or latching onto the breast. Tho ma s’s suckling starts to slow,

and his eyes start to close, as he drifts back off to sleep, I lean back in the chair and just watch him

sleep.