Chapter 20

The apartment was vacant. All signs that Jen had stayed the night had been erased and there were no signs of Savannah anywhere. Cammie walked into her room, threw her bag on the desk, and collpased onto her bed, her head throbbing and spinning from the days of studying.

But there was also a light fluttering in her stomach. She bit her lip and glanced at her phone for the first time since Virgo had handed it back to her. She quickly typed her name into the search bar of her contacts.

There it was. The name that she had been dreading since her Dream was now registered in her phone and it was sending butterflies through her stomach, a sensation she hadn't felt in quite a while.

Virgo Payette.

Cammie continued to stare at the name, her fingers frozen in place. She had not given Virgo her number, as Virgo suggested that Cammie text her for the details of the open mic night, meaning that Virgo had given Cammie all of the power, all of the control.

Cammie chewed at the inside of her lips, her heart suddenly increasing its pace.

I'm nervous, Cammie realized with a sudden flourish of embarassment. If she could have seen herself, she would have watched as a small red tint colored her cheeks.

Should I text her now? What do I say? Should I just send her my name so that she has my number or should I ask for details? Should I wait a few days? I don't want to seem desperate . . . Desperate? You would only seem desperate if you were trying to get with this girl, which you're not. This is just friendship. Friendships can't seem desperate, can they?

Cammie squeezed her eyes shut as the diludge of questions intensified the steady thumping in her already pounding head. She put her phone aside and opened her eyes, trying to clear her mind by focusing on the shapes that bubbled up from the paint and molding on the ceiling. Clumps of shape began swirling and twisting under her watchful gaze: blobs became dancers, bears, a couple on a bike, dinosaurs, and mermaids. A smile crept upon Cammie's lips. Her imagination had not run wild like this since she was a child.

Her grin grew wider and her body began to feel relaxed as the aches melted away and all that remained was a fresh perspective.

In a sudden surge of inspiration, Cammie pushed herself from her bed and dove deep into her closet, dragging out a tattered notebook and a shoe box marked with paint splatters. Cammie carefully removed her school supplies from her desk, opened her notebook to a new page, and selected a pencil to being a light sketch of her vision. The minutes turned to hours, and soon her canvas was covered in paints, bright and colorful.

Cammie looked at the moutain scene she had painted: the open sky made her think of the endless potential of each day, while the calming relfection of the trees on the water grounded her in serenity. She always loved painting nature, just as much as she loved being in it. She hardly had the time to venture out of the city and into the Angeles National Forest these days, though she was sure it would do her some good. For now, painting would have to do; it was a cathartic experience, allowing her to pour herself and everything pent up out onto the page through the colors of the brush and release her from the grips of whatever choking feeling had been hovering over her.

The apartment door opened and Savannah walked in.

"Hey, Cam. You home?" she called.

"Yeah, I'm in my room."

Savannah appeared a moment later.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Savannah noticed the painting. "Wow, I haven't seen you paint since we started college."

Cammie offered a smile. "Yeah, I was feeling a little inspired."

"It's amazing! I love it." Savannah leaned over Cammie and carefully removed the painting from the notebook, grabbed from tape from the desk and marched into the living room and attached it to the wall. "Perfect."

Cammie laughed. "You're like a proud mom." Not my mom, Cammie thought, who had squashed her art dreams before they had even began.

"Of course, I'm always proud of you, my talented little artist."

Cammie rolled her eyes.

"So how was your day? It must've been good to get you painting." Savannah collapsed onto the couch, still in her waitressing uniform from the day's work.

A blush covered Cammie's face as she considered how she spent her day; her thoughts were filled with Virgo. As she stood across from Savannah, glancing at the painting, she suddenly realized that the inspiration and will to be creative was only possible because of Virgo. Her face grew brighter.

"Um, it was okay. I just studied all morning."

"Are you blushing?"

"No!" Cammie turned around walked into the kitchen to hide her face. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Yes, you are. And you're a horrible liar. What happened today? Where'd you go? You were gone when I woke up."

"Nothing happened," Cammie began, reaching into the fridge and pretending to be rummaging for a drink to hide her face. "It was the usual. Woke up, went to coffee and studied."

"Mhm and what else?"

Cammie thought for a moment. "My mom called. She was making sure that I'm coming home over Spring Break for my dad's work thing."

"That lame party that he has every year?"

"That would be the one."

"I still don't understand why you have to go to that. It's your family's firm. You don't need to network."

"Tell that to my mom."

"And you're still going to go?"

"Of course I am," Cammie said, turning to face Savannah now that the conversation had shifted.

Savannah shook her head.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, you have something to say, so say it."

"Nothing, Cam. Forget it."

"You can just say it."

"I just think that you don't always have to do what your parents want."

"It's not that easy, Savannah."

"Yeah, that's what you always say."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cammie could feel the anger rising in her chest.

"You know what it means, Cam. And it's not like I haven't said this to you before."

"Yeah and you just think it's so easy doing whatever you want, right? Your parents don't care what you do. Meanwhile mine are breathing down the back of my neck every day."

"Because you let them. My parents just want me to be happy so they let me do whatever I want."

"Oh, and mine don't?"

"Are you happy?" Savannah asked, staring Cammie straight in the eye.

"Why is everyone asking me that?"

"If everyone is asking you, then everyone must see something you're not."

Cammie's began to feel hot under her shirt, the anger boiling. Deep within the recessess of her mind, she knew she wasn't angry with Savannah, that these feelings were harbored feelings of resentment against her parents for suffocating her, for squashing her under their thumb, for watching her every move.

But anger is not rational.

"God damn it, just fuck off, Savannah and mind your own fucking business. My life is none of your god damn business, even though you seem to think that it is. So do me a favor and leave me alone!" Cammie stormed out of the room fuming, leaving Savannah standing there stunned. The slamming of a door snapped Savannah out of her stupor.

Cammie collapsed into her bed, face into her pillow and sobbed. If there was one thing Cammie was proud of, it was her ability to keep her emotions, especially anger, in check. But lately, she couldn't control anything, least of all her anger. And now she screamed at her closest friend, taking out all of her frusterations out on the one person who meant the most to her. She hated herself.

She wasn't sure how long it had been since she slammed her door, but when the soft knock came, Cammie felt like her limbs and head were weighed down with five ton weights.

The door creaked open before Cammie answered and Savannah walked in. Cammie gave Savannah one glance and burst into tears again.

"I'm sorry," Cammie wept.

"Scoot over." Savannah climbed into bed with Cammie. She had changed out of her work uniform and her hair was wet from a shower.

"I should't have yelled at you. It's not your fault. I'm so sorry."

"We hurt the ones we love most."

Cammie reached over and hugged her friend. "I'm an asshole."

"Yeah, you were. But I understand."

"How are you so good? I don't even deserve you. I don't even know how you put up with me, especially lately."

Savannah offered a lopsided smile. "I"ve yelled at you before. Plus, I know you're not actually mad at me. That helps."

"I'm just really stressed. About everything."

"What's everything?"

"My future."

"Yeah, for you that is everything."

Cammie paused a moment to consider Savannah's words. Her future was everything. Everything she had done in life was in preparation for her future.

For your parents' future, a nasty voice taunted.

This is what I want too, Cammie told herself, though doubts lingered.

"Am I making the wrong decision?" Cammie asked.

"About what?"

"Everything."

Savannah chewed her lip and considered her friend's words before answering.

"Cam, I think that's up to you. I can't tell you if it's the wrong decision. I know that you're passionate about law and becoming a lawyer. It's not like your parents are forcing you to do anything with a gun to your head. You do like it and you are good at it. I don't know if that is a good enough reason to pursue a career, especially since I know you don't love it as much as you could and there are other things you want to do. And for you, Cam, pleasing your parents is something you've always wanted. So, no. I don't think becoming a laywer is the 'wrong' decision. But I also think that if you decided to not become a lawyer and did something else, that's also fine."

Cammie considered these words. They weren't exactly what she wanted to hear. She wanted Savannah to tell her exactly what to do and she wanted to listen. But Savannah was giving her something her parents never did: a choice.

"And," Savannah continued, looking slightly uncomfortable. "I think the same thing goes for Virgo. If you want to be with her because you love her and she makes you happy and you can deal with how your parents will react, then you should be with her, because that's what's best for you. But, if you don't think you can be happy with her and you can't handle the opinions of your parents on the matter, then don't be with her. You always have a choice, Cammie and it's yours alone to make."

Cammie chewed her lip.

"I saw her today," Cammie confessed.

"How did it go?" Savannah asked, much more calm than she usually did and Cammie was grateful. The topic of Virgo was starting to feel moe normal.

"Fine. I went to her coffee shop to return her jacket and studied there. When she got off she sat down with me and studied too and we talked for a bit."

"And?"

"It was nice. She's nice. She's studying to become a music teacher."

Savannah was sure that Cammie didn't realize she was smiling as she spoke about Virgo.

"And she invited us to another open mic on Thursday."

"Yeah, that souns fun. Especially since you know about it this time," Savannah said with a laugh.

Cammie shook her head, but laughed.

"Where are they playing?"

"Oh, um, she gave me her number. I need to text her to ask for the information."

"You have her phone number?" Savannah asked, this time unable to keep the excitement from her voice.

"Okay, calm down. It's not big deal."

Savannah shrugged but wsa unable to conceal her smirk.

"So when are you going to text her?"

"Oh, I don't know. I hadn't thought about it. Maybe when it gets closer," Cammie lied, hoping Savannah hadn't noticed. Savannah, of course, knew that Cammie had obsessed over the right moment to text Virgo.

"Text her now, I'll invite Jen."

"Now?"

"Yeah, it's not big deal. You're just friends."

Cammie stayed silent.

Savannah rolled her eyes and reached for Cammie's phone. She typed out a message to Virgo.

"What are you saying?" Cammie asked, unable to read the screen.

"I said: 'Hey Virgo, it's Cammie. I'm totally in love with you. You're so hot. Want to come over tonight?' and a wink-face."

Cammie's eyes just about buldged out of her head at the same moment her heart stopped.

"I'm kidding, Jesus. Calm down. Here."

Savannah handed Cammie the phone to inspect the text. It was much more PG than the original text Savannah suggested.

Hey, it's Cammie. Savannah and I are free Thursday. Can you send me the details?

"Good?" Savannah asked.

Cammie exhaled. "Yes, fine. Send it."

Virgo couldn't help it: the moment Cammie walked out of the coffee shop she had obsessively checked her phone to see if Cammie had texted her. It was getting so bad she was experiencing ghost vibrations.

"Why do you keep checking your phone?" Shea asked when they were sitting down for dinner.

"I'm not."

Shea rolled his eyes.

Virgo's phone vibrated and she nearly knocked it off the table in her haste to grab it. The text was from Shea.

Yes you are.

Virgo laughed humorlessly. "Very funny."

Shea glanced at the phone and back to Virgo.

"I gave Cammie my number today, so I'm basically being pathetic and waiting for her to text me."

A huge grin spread across Shea's face. "How did this happen?"

Virgo relayed the details of the day.

"So she came to your work, huh? She's definitely into you. Or at least curious."

"I don't want curiosity."

"It's better than her wanting nothing to do with you."

"True," Virgo conceeded.

"You think she's going to come?"

Virgo shrugged. "I have no idea. I can't read this girl. I have no idea what's going on in her head."

Shea was smirking.

"What?"

"It must be so hard to be you now. The womanizer who can't get the girl she wants."

Virgo picked up a piece of broccoli and threw it at Shea. It hit him square in the chest, but did nothing to quell his teasing.

"Shut up."

They finished their meal in silence, with Shea grinning the entire time.

"I have to go finish a paper, asshole. See you tomorrow."

"She might not be texting you so fast so she doesn't seem desperate," Shea called down the hall, still laughing.

"Va te faire foutre."

Virgo grabbed her laptop and leaned back on her bed, trying to focus on her paper due next week, but to no avail. All she could do was keep glancing at her phone, hoping that Cammie would text her. She felt like they had really gotten along today at the coffee shop, but perhaps she had overstepped her boundaries when she pushed Cammie about her future.

She groaned and leaned back against her pillow, staring at the ceiling. She felt pathetic, unable to do anything but stare at her phone and will a text to come through. She felt fifteen all over again, experiencing her first crush. She hated it.

But she also couldn't fight it.

Cammie occupied every corner of her mind, waking or in sleep. All day, the only thing Virgo found she could do was replay the time spent with Cammie today. She replayed every word exchanged, every twitch of her lips, the way her body moved, the way her face scrunched when she was reading.

A smile formed on Virgo's lips at the memory of her Soulmate. Her heart ached to hold her, to even tell her how much she cared for her. It took all of Virgo's willpower to restrain herself around this girl and it was quickly dwindling. Every time she was around her Cammie her skin was on fire, her heart raced, and she longed to simple hold her hand.

A long sigh escaped Virgo's lips. She really needed to get it together.

She opened up her laptop once again and poised her fingers over the keys when her phone vibrated. She rolled her eyes, knowing Shea was teasing her again. She began to type, determinined to finish her paper tonight and forget about Cammie.

Her phone remained silent for the next few hours as Virgo worked into the night. After assessing how much she had written, she decided that she could use a break and went into the kitchen to grab a glass of wine. Upon her return, she decided that she would text Shea back now after four hours just to prove she could stay off her phone.

The screen on her phone illuminated and revealed an unsaved number. Virgo's heart skipped a beat. She fumbled with her phone and opened the message.

Hey, it's Cammie. Savannah and I are free Thursday. Can you send me the details?

A million thoughts raced through her head, but she kicked herself for ignoring her phone for so long. It was well after ten pm and she wasn't even sure Cammie would be awake.

Hey yeah the show is at a place called the lounge. It starts at 8. I can send you the address if you want?

The reply from Cammie came almost instant. Virgo was glad to have her own room where she could hide behind the door; she didn't want Shea to see the stupid grin plastered on her face.

Thanks! I think I found it.

Cool. If you get lost on the way just text me.

Sounds good thanks.

Virgo wasn't sure how to respond to this last message. There wasn't much to say, but she didn't want the conversation to end. Though it wasn't a significant conversation, she just wanted to spend as much time with Cammie as possible. Fortunately, her problems were solved when Cammie sent a second text.

Cammie stared at her phone, reading the last message she sent. There really was no good way for Virgo to respond to it. She bit her lip and typed out another message, hoping that she wasn't coming off too strong.

I'm excited to hear your band again. You're really good.

This much was true and after a moment of thinking about it, Cammie knew she wasn't trying to flirt with Virgo or anything of the sort. She was trying to be friendly and she did want to talk to Virgo more, get to know her. She had agreed to be Virgo's friend and with any other friendship, she would be texting them and attempting to keep the conversation going. She couldn't even count how many texts she and Jen had exchanged since they met—and she had kissed Jen.

Thanks. :) I'm glad you like us, Virgo texted, though she wanted to write so much more, she restrained herself, forced herself to hold back and be friendly and not pour her heart out in their first text exchange.

How long have you been in the band?

About two years

And do you write all of the music?

Yes

Cammie's tomach fluttered. When she listened to Virgo play at the last open mic, she had known the songs were about her; it was so obvious once she realized. But to know that Virgo wrote all of the music, well, it made her stomach flop in all sorts of ways that she wasn't used to.

That's really cool. I could never do that

It's not so hard when you do it every day for twenty years. I know you don't play any insturments but do you do anything else artistic or creative? Can you sing?

Haha. No I can't sing to save my life. I used to paint though

Used to?

No time anymore

Can I see one of your paintings?

Cammie thought a moment, chewing her lip. She didn't share her art easily, especially since her mother had shot her down all those years ago. Savannah was one of the few people allowed to see her work. But, Cammie supposed anyone who entered the apartment would see her art now, since Savannah had taped it to the wall.

Sure hang on

Cammie crept out of her room, sure not to disturb Savannah, and snapped a photo of the painting. She sent it to Virgo and waited. She realized with surprise that she was actually nervous.

Wow... This is incredible. When did you paint this?

Cammie ignored the compliment.

Today actually

I thought you said you "used" to paint?

I guess I was feeling inspired

A shy smile spread across Virgo's face. She wasn't sure if she was reading into Cammie's texts, but she felt that maybe there was meaning hidden behind Cammie's words.

It this the first thing you've painted in a while?

Yeah I never have time for it. School's too busy

I understand. But you should try and paint more. It was a beautiful painting

Yeah but I've got to study for the lsat and law school and stuff

Isn't that like 2 years away?

A year and a half. But I need to be studying now to get the best scores... and yeah.

Sounds like a lot

I guess. I'm used to it

Well what do you do for fun when you're not studying?

Fun? lol

Haha come on you don't spend every second of your life studying

I really like to read (not school books) and go camping (also no time) and watch movies. I probably get to watch movies the most. Savannah and I watch movies a few times a week

What's your favorite movie?

Wow that's a hard question

Let me guess: Legally Blonde?

Oh wow lol no but nice try

Top 5?

I hope you're not expecting critically acclaimed movies that have won awards. I like movies, but I'm not a movie buff.

No judgement :)

I like comedies and romantic comedies a lot lol

Who doesn't? Favorites?

Just Go With It, Something Borrowed, Pitch Perfect, and anything with Melissa McCarthy lol

I don't know that I've seen the first too. Pitch Perfect is great and so is Melissa McCarthy

You haven't seen Just Go With It or Something Borrowed?? You need to see them! They're masterpieces

Can Romantic Comedies be considered masterpieces? lol

Yes and you'll see why when you watch them

Are they on Netflix?

I'm not sure. I have them on DVD. You can come over and watch them because I have to make sure you see them

Cammie hadn't realized she offered to have Virgo over before the text was sent. When she saw it encased in blue on her screen, it was too late.

She had invited Virgo over to watch movies. Was that weird? Too forward? Would it give Virgo ideas? The conversation was flowing so easily and it just felt natural to extend an invite like that. Cammie would have done it with anyone else, so why not Virgo?

That sounds fun :) Whenever you're not too busy becoming Elle Woods ;)

Cammie laughed at Virgo's teasing. It felt like had known each other for years. In fact, there was never a point in which things with Virgo didn't seem easy. It had always been like that, as if they had known each other their whole lives.

Is this what it's supposed to feel like when you've met your Soulmate? Cammie wondered.

Thank you to everyone who has continued reading this story! I'm sorry for the long haitus. I meant to post this chapter and let you all know that I was going backpacking through Europe for 5 weeks, but between writers block, the end of the school year, and getting ready for the trip, I didn't have the time. So I'm really sorry, but thank you to everyone who is sticking with this story!

The good news is: this wasn't the chapter I had originally written, so I do have the next chapter 75% finished. So I'll try and update again by the end of this week to make up for the radio silence. :)

Thanks again for reading!