Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Sex Talk I wake up in his arms the next morning. The minute I open my eyes, memories from last night instantly come back to me. That’s it. I’ve slept with Eason, with my stepbrother. I carefully turn around to look at him. He’s still sleeping soundly. No matter how much of a jerk he is by day, he seems so cute and peaceful right now. The summer sunshine pours in through curtains and onto his beautiful face, giving the whole room an amber glow. I study his perfect, straight, angular figure.

Seriously, I can do this all day, staying in his arms and looking at his sleeping face…

Wait.

I jerk up a bit, scared by that fleeting thought just like I did yesterday. My movement disturbed him in his slumber, as he murmurs something vaguely and turns around releasing me from his arms.

I fight back the temptation to crawl back to his cuddle and get out of bed quietly.

I turn on my phone and quickly text my mom, letting her know that I got caught up my“ urgent homework”

so didn’t come back last night. Then I go into the kitchen and brew some coffee.

My mind drifts away while waiting for the coffee to get ready.

Well, before last night, I thought sleeping with him would help me get over with my obsession and move on to the next phase. I only want him sexually. That’s it. Period. But last night didn’t do a good job killing my wayward thoughts. Instead, it opens a door to something else.

My own inner voice starts playing in my ears.

… I love this so much… I love him…

I jump to my feet immediately, panic as hell. No, no way. That can’t be it. We barely know each other right now. Plus, he’s such a manipulative, forceful, difficult, and overwhelming guy. Why would I fall in love with him?

That’s just sex talk. My hormone talking. I take a deep breath and bury my flaming face into my palms.

That’s right. No need to overthink this. I’ll just keep some distances with him after last night. “What are you thinking?”

I’m startled and turn around to find him walking out of the bedroom. He yawns and walks closer to me, hairs messy in an incredibly sexy way. No one can look this good in the morning, except him.

“What are you doing babe?” he asks in a hoarse and sleep voice. His arms come around my waist and hold me from the back. He rests his chin on my shoulder, gently rubbing his head against my neck. The intimacy makes my heart leap. “Umm…nothing,” I say quickly, breaking free from him. “Coffee?” “Yeah, I can have some,” he leans on the counter. His eyes fix on me. A faint trace of smile lightens his face.

I avoid his gaze and quickly pour him a coffee. But when I hand him the mug, he doesn’t take it. Instead, he grabs me by my wrist and pulls me right into his firm chest. “Why don’t you look at me?” he asks while nibbling on the side of my neck.

That’s so itchy. I giggle and try to avoid him. But he tightens his arms and holds me closer, lowering his head to capture my lips. I almost drown myself in that kiss. The atmosphere is just right. The lazy summer morning, the freshly brewed coffee, the warm sunshine filling up the living room, the perfect boyfriend…everything is perfect. Except he isn’t actually my boyfriend. His hand comes up to my waist and caress my naked skin. His breathe becomes rougher. And I can feel him swell against me. But my mind suddenly clears up, like waking up from a dream too good to be true. And I quickly push him to the side and move further away from him. He is caught off guard. He staggers back and looks at me with parted lips and frowning brows, deeply confused.

“Nat?” he asks. “What’s the matter.”

I can’t look at him. If I do, I’ll lose all courage. So I doge his gaze and quickly walk towards the living room, grabbing my bag. “I think I should go,” I say. That enrages him. He strides across the room and grabs my shoulder forcing me to face him. That gentle smile on his lips is gone. Anger flashes through his green eyes.

“What’s your fucking problem Natalia?” he grits out.

I cower under his furious gaze. I know what I am doing right now is horrible. But it’s the only way to remain clear-headed.

“I just need to get home…mom may get worried.”

“I’ll call her,” he snaps.

“No!” I say quickly. “You shouldn’t. That’s it. I’m leaving.” He narrows his eyes and studies my face. Just when I thought he was going to lose it and go completely mad, his hands suddenly drop to his sides. He takes a step back as a cold sneer comes over his face.

“Fine. Get lost,” he shrugs. “I should kick you out of here the moment I’m done fucking you. That’s why we are together right? It’s only sex and nothing else.”

His words make my chest hurt. I take in a deep breath and look away, trying to blink back the tears in my eyes. “Yeah, that’s right,” I say.

He snorts and walks to the side picking up his phone. His voice becomes impatient. “Then why are you still standing here? Valerie is meeting me here. You don’t want to bump into her.”

He’s probably just saying that to make me mad. But that works surprisingly well. As I flee his apartment, tears have run down my face.

I blew the whole thing. Things were going so nice and dreamy between us, and now all is gone.

But if I let myself hover over him, I’ll destroy myself in the end.

***

Ever since that night, I never hear from Eason again. No calls, no texts. I bump into him a few times in school, but he just walks right pass me.

Valerie is back again, following him everywhere he goes. Whenever our eyes met, she would stare at me with a smug look as if she has won some stupid contest.

As far as I know, Eason is just playing her the same way he played me. I think Valerie knows that as well, but she doesn’t care. That’s why she could stay by Eason’s side.

I hope I could have that kind of consciousness. But I can’t let myself go down that deep.

Fortunately, my life in school has finally become better. Eason invited me to sit with him once in the café, and that successfully got me off the target list. No one would deliberately pick on me anymore. They just go back to ignoring me. But that’s all I ever need anyway. A boring yet peaceful senior. I spend so much time with Katherine, Alex, and Edie recently. The four of us basically become a group. Now that I have finally caught up with schoolwork and managed to make some friends, my life is finally back to normal again. I would think about that wild night with Eason from time to time. But other than that, we never cross again. I can’t let myself to go down that road again and I think his pride forbids him to contact me anymore.

TWO WEEKS LATER Ses Days fly back quickly. When we are finally done with midterms, Katherine proposes us to all go on a short vacation.

“Beach house?” I ask with a frown. We are in the café waiting in line to get our food. Alex and Eddie are right behind us. She seems very enthusiastic about it. “Yes, it’s my uncle’s beach house. Not far away from here actually, just an hour drive away. We can leave after school on Friday and get back Sunday night. Isn’t it nice? I’m so exhausted by the exams. We can use a little rest.”

I keep my mouth shut. To be honest, I’m not so crazy about that idea. My original plan for the weekend is job hunting. Now that I’ve finally caught up with schoolwork, I can start saving for my college fund again. I can’t keep spending the Ramirez’s money anymore. We all find a table and sit down. Alex knows about my job-hunting plan, so he keeps quiet. But Edie jumps right on board immediately. “Sounds great! I’m in.” Katherine turns to me and Alex, “What about you two?” I bite on my sandwich in silence. My hesitation is obvious. Her face drops immediately as she grabs my hand and begs, “come on, we studied so hard for the past few days. Let’s go. You can’t let me and Edie go alone.”

A regretful look flashes by Edie’s face but he quickly disguises it. He probably has a huge crush on Katherine. But she is way out of his league, so he doesn’t dare to make a move on her yet.

“Yeah, come with us,” Edie agrees. “It’d be our first trip together.”

I sign, “But Alex already got me an interview. It’s on Saturday.” 1 “I could talk to them and have that rescheduled,” Alex shrugs. “It’s a job in local coffee shop. Not running for president.” Looking at their eager faces, I finally give in. “OK fine.” Katherine cheers clapping her hands together. “Awesome!! Friday night, beach house it is!” I can’t help but smile with her. Her enthusiasm is contagious. But suddenly the next second, someone appears from Alex’s back and jumps into the conversation, “What beach house?”

I look up and find it’s James. My heart sinks a little. James is both friend with Alex and Eason, so sometimes he would sit with us during lunch. During random conversations, Eason’s name would pop up unavoidably, causing my heart to flutter every single time.

“You are all going to the beach house this week?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Katherine says briskly. “You wanna come?”

I wanted to stop her, but her invitation was already out. She’s probably just being nice, but I really don’t want to hear Eason’s name over and over again during the trip. Fortunately, James shakes his head with a regretful smile. “Oh I can’t. I already had plan. Well, you guys enjoy yourself.” After that, he picks up his tray and leaves our table quickly walking away. Katherine pouts looking at his back. “Why is he in such a hurry?” “Kat,” I lower my voice. “Why did you tell him we are going to the beach house?”

“He already heard us talking about it. Plus, it’s not a secret anyway. Why? What’s the matter?” She seems confused. I bite my bottom lips and say nothing, trying to dislodge the stupid feeling of uneasiness. Even if James knows, it doesn’t mean that he would tell Eason about it. It’s only my paranoia.