Chapter l178

Chapter 0178

But his eyes were crystal focused now. Whatever fire that had sparked there had been well contained. He was pulling himself back under control, and I felt cold, mourning the loss

He didn’t apologize, thank God, but he didn’t say anything else either. No explanations. No words of comfort or cruelty

Looking at me, he swallowed hard. Then, finally, he said, “Return to your room, Piper.” His voice was still lust–rough. He cleared it but did not speak again.

He’d made it sound like an order, and not a S**y one. His words were like a bucket of cold water dumped over my head.

I opened my mouth to say something, I honestly wasn’t sure what, when he abruptly turned and all but ran from me. He disappeared into his room, the door closed and locked behind him.

I stood staring after him, trying to collect myself after everything that happened. In the end, I simply felt

abandoned.

Confused and embarrassed, I returned to my room. If Mark noticed my disheveled state of dress, he did not mention it. Good, since it was likely his fault, Nicholas had known to look for me at all. If Mark said something now, I’d likely reply with a cutting remark I didn’t mean and would regret.

The person I was truly hurt by was Nicholas, not Mark. But I was ready to lash out at just about anyone.

Except Elva.

I went to her side to check on her. She was still sleeping peacefully.

Finally, I exhaled and slunk down onto the mattress beside her. Here, in the safety of my room with the

knowledge of Elva safe and happy, I could reflect on whatever the hell had just happened between me

and Nicholas.

My b*dy had ignited when Nicholas had touched me, and I couldn’t blame nostalgia for it this time Before, our intimacy had been shy and experimental. This had been all heat and passion, and even a little

rough. And I loved it.

I had wanted him to continue so badly, I nearly begged for it. I might have, had we gone on longer.

I was a mess.

I only went out to try to find Julian and convince him to save me during the next elimination. Instead, I ended up dry humping Nicholas against his door.

went after sur rastu and with sur years apart, he was the only

ted Ar

Kissing the font dit spare mode of me fat ke had seen just sleepwalking before placing Myself and my needs sondary to varying else out now was coming alive again

waged my own desires than yes wanted to fall into bed with Nicholas. The problem, of

sim there afterwa

die ware and done with Nicholas wathed him for ife & dangerous, impossible prospect

I needed to get my read on dragteded to put my salleh personal desires back on the shelf

straight selfis

where they belonged. This competition was more than ut my wants My life was more than just what 1

had an oignon to Eve couldn’t make selfish choices anymore I had a daughter

So whatever fcholas unlocked in me tonight needed to be locked up again

had to put him onally out of my mind

But as pressed my fingers against my ips didnt know now i would ever be able to forget the passion

be had shown the tonight

wondered if he was still thinking of me soo

on was 12 ! couldnt.control

en before

drawn it out of nie. Even after our breakup and with our years apart, he was the only

wanted

Geng him tonight had it a spark inside of me. I felt like I had been just sleepwalking before, placing

and my needs secondary to everything else, but now, I was coming alive again.

If Lucknowledged my own desires, then yes, I wanted to fall into bed with Nicholas. The problem, of course, was that I also wanted to keep him there afterwards.

didn’t want a one and done with Nicholas. I wanted him for life. A dangerous, impossible prospect.

I needed to get my head on straight. I needed to put my selfish personal desires back on the shelf where they belonged. This competition was more than just my wants. My life was more than just what I

wanted.

I had an obligation to Elva. I couldn’t make selfish choices anymore. I had a daughter.

So whatever Nicholas unlocked in me tonight, needed to be locked up again.

I had to put him totally out of my mind.

But as I pressed my fingers against my l*ps, I didn’t know how I would ever be able to forget the passion

ie had shown me tonight.

I wondered if he was still thinking of me, too.

tolop thinking about k*ssing Piper.

after I had escaped to my rooms, the moment I closed the door separating us, I pressed my ehead against the cool wood and felt myself burn.

Her b*dy had been on fire against mine, the curve of her ass plush in my hands. Her hips had been so aight around my waist, beckoning me into the depths of her most sensitive parts.

She had made me wild. If we hadn’t been in that hallway where anyone could come across us, I might have stripped her bare and taken my fill of her b*dy until we both would be sated.

I could give her pleasure that Julian could not. He was such an asshole, he was likely a selfish lover.

With Piper, I would give everything and then some. I’d want her to come twice before I even thought of entering her. I’d have her on my fingers and on my mouth. I’d lavish her clit with my tongue until she could

only moan or cry my name.

In my grief of losing Piper, I had fallen into bed with other women. None of it meant anything, but I had

learned from the experience.

I knew the female b*dy well, much more so than when I had touched Piper in the past. Now, I knew the

places to touch and how to caress them so that I could make a woman scream.

With Piper, I wanted to use everything I had learned, like it had all been a practice just to learn how to

drive her wild.

If I had her in this room right now, I would-

e wasn’t one I

I slammed the door on those thoughts. Piper was a candidate in the competition, and she could pick even if I wanted to. We were destined to be apart for the rest of our lives.

Fantasizing like this accomplished nothing. Piper would never be mine.

A growl escaped from the back of my throat before I knew to contain it. My inner wolf wasn’t pleased with that remark. Frankly, neither was I.

But it was fact.

To lust after Piper was pointless. Worse, it could even be seen as disrespectful. She had to know as well as I that we couldn’t be together.

And she was Julian’s girl now.

Another growl escaped me, louder than the previous

Julian did not deserve her.

Only you, Nick, she had said so sweetly, voice breathless and needy.

My dick was shameless, pressing uncomfortably up into my pants. I shouldn’t give it attention, I should take a cold shower or something and forget this whole night.

But then I remembered Piper’s moan.

“Shit,” I grumbled as I hobbled into my bedroom. I lost my pants along the way. The boxers went soon after, and I hissed as the cool night air surrounded my hard, exposed dick.

In my bedroom, I ripped off my shirt and undershirt, so that when I finally toppled onto the bed, I did so

entirely n*ked.

Maybe, I reasoned, if I gave into my fantasies just this once, they would go away. I couldn’t have Piper in the flesh, and that might have been part of her allure. If I imagined her and brought myself to completion,

then I’d likely be able to let her go.

Resolved, I wasted no more time and took myself in hand.

I imagined our same position, with me pounding her into the door, but without our clothes in the way.

She had been animalistic, all claws and whimpers, just from me rubbing her through our clothes. How

wild would she be if my dick was buried inside of her wet, warm folds?

Would she throw her head back against the door? Would she arch her back, shoving those delectable breasts out into my chest? Would she move her own hips, grinding and swirling, trying to match my movements as best she could?

I wouldn’t give her much chance. Some other time, I would want to take it slow. Carry her to a mattress and lick her all over her b*dy.