Chapter 197

“Isobel, you didn’t have to say all of that,” I told her as soon as she hung up the phone. Yes, Christian was an asshole, but no one could speak on him except for me.

“It’s true, though.” Isobel spoke. “You’re too good for him, and you know that. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Please.” I begged her. “Please stop.”

Her words were bothering me, and they were bothering me because she was right. I was sick and tired of the way he had been treating me, and I deserved better than that.

Dario’s information was correct. Christian had sent people to keep an eye on me, and it broke my heart. Everything I did at the club yesterday was to get on his nerves, and he still didn’t care.

Anyone with eyes. could see that even though my heart belonged to Christian, my head belonged to Dario-and he still didn’t care.

“You know what, you can stay in your toxic relationship.” Isobel sighed as she walked out of the room. “And just so you know, you shouldn’t be surprised that I dislike him when all you’ve been doing is complain about the way he’s been treating you!”

“What’s her problem?” I whispered as I reached for my phone. Christian read my text, but he still hadn’t replied, and I was desperate to hear his reason. Was he getting just as tired of me like I was getting of him?

It seemed like my prayers had finally been answered because right at that moment, his name had appeared on the screen. I wouldn’t let him wait for another second and accepted the call.

“H-hi,” I spoke awkwardly. I waited for a response, but there was nothing other than a sigh. “Just hi?” I heard Christian’s voice for the first time. I had known him long enough to see that he wasn’t happy, but when was he?

“Can I talk to my daughter?” I requested. I was the first to ignore his calls, but Siena was never part of it. I would never neglect her, and I did care for her well-being. The only reason I was able to breathe was because of Dario. He reassured me that she was doing fine.

“She isn’t here,” Christian spoke.

“What do you mean, she isn’t here?”

“I brought her over to your dad’s. You know that.” He chuckled in disbelief. “Are you still here with me, or did you drank that much that you can’t even remember what’s happening today.”

How could I ever forget?

It was the day of Carmen and Luke’s party, but also the day that Christian would catch his uncle. He had a lot to deal with and needed help with Siena, which was understandable.

“Oh, right—I’m sorry!” I apologized. It went silent again, and I was unsure of what to say. The most logical -thing to discuss would be the baby, Carmen and Luke’s party, or his uncle, but we still had much unfinished business.

“It’s fine, Serena,” Christian reassured me. The tone in his voice sounded different, and he seemed a bit calmer than before. I was waiting for him to tell me he missed me, but that was not the case.

Isobel’s plan was really cute, but it wouldn’t work for me. Christian was not like my brother, and he was not as open with his feelings.

“We spoke at the same time. “You go first,” I told him I wanted to hear what he had to say about this because I honestly didn’t even know what was happening.

“I don’t know what happened between us, and I don’t even know if we’re even arguing or not-but I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you,” Christian spoke.

“I know,” I whispered. I could hear the sincerity in his voice, and that was all that mattered. “So, what did you want to say?” Christian asked.

I rolled my eyes as I thought about his lack of trust in me, and just like that, those feelings of anger had returned. “I went out yesterday, but you already know that because you send all these people to keep an eye on me.”

“It wasn’t like that.” Christian defended himself. Then what was it like?

This time it was my turn and I had to be honest about last night. I knew he was aware of everything and he wasn’t stupid.

“I drank so much that I couldn’t even stand up straight, and I almost kissed this random guy-but then I came back to my senses because I didn’t want to hurt you…I know how that feels.”

“Fine.” Christian spoke to my surprise. I wanted him to get angry, and I wanted him to ask me why I did that, but there was nothing. All he gave me was a ‘fine’ as if it didn’t even matter.

“Fine?” I scoffed. “Do you even care?”

“I do, but what do you want me to say?” Christian spoke, confused. He still wasn’t getting it.

“I want you to yell at me. I want you to tell me that I broke your heart and that you need some time to think about us!” I raised my voice. I needed him to give me a reaction. It didn’t matter what kind of reaction. I just needed something, so I could make myself believe that he loved me.

“Is that what you want?” Christian asked.

“It would at least show me that you cared about me.”

“I do care.” Christian took a deep breath. “You know I don’t have the right to say anything to you-“

“I think I have feelings for Dario.” I dropped out of nowhere. I didn’t even know what I was doing or why those words had left my mouth, but maybe this would push him over the edge.

Was it a lie? No.

Dario cared for my well-being and checked up on me. He never gave me such dry reactions as Christian, and I trusted him more than I could ever trust anyone else. I knew he wouldn’t bail on me.

I waited for Christian’s outburst, but it never came. “Okay, and what do you want me to do with that information?” He spoke casually. What the hell was wrong with him?

“I want to know how you feel about it,” I confessed. “You should’ve figured that out by now.”

“You want to know how I feel about it?” Christian commented. “I think it’s weird that you’re into him and that you’re sending bikini pics to my cousin. I feel betrayed, hurt, disgusted, embarrassed, and I could see it coming, but I didn’t have to know all of this.” He finally opened up.

I was glad to hear his honest opinion, which was enough for me to believe that we could work this out. As long as we were honest with each other, we could overcome anything.

”

“I’m telling you this because I love you,” I told Christian. “Yes, love.” He spoke sarcastically “We can all see that.”

Therest was again.

The sarcastic tone in his voice.

“I love you, but I feel trapped.” I managed to get out. It was something I wanted to tell him for a while, but somehow it worked better when we were not face to face.

“You don’t talk to me, you don’t listen to me-and you promised we’d work on our communication, but nothing has changed, and you’re still a closed book.”

“I’m a closed book?” Christian asked, surprised. Well, at least I got his attention.

“Yes, and if you’re not going to change-”

“I won’t, so maybe we are better off as friends,” Christian spoke, irritated. His words shocked me. I wanted to push him just enough to talk to me about his feelings, but this was not what I expected.

This was not what I wanted.

“You don’t mean that-”

“Serena, you’re in no position to tell me what I do and don’t mean.” Christian interrupted me. He sounded. serious, and that scared me more than anything.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Serena, you just told me you have feelings for my cousin. Are you stupid?”

Yes, I was stupid. I was so stupid to confess my love for Dario, while it was obvious that I wasn’t in love with him. I was confused, and Christian’s shocking threat to break up with me came as unexpected. Our. relationship was toxic, but I did not want to lose him.

“It’s nothing serious, and it’s not even comparable to the amount of love I have for you, so please stop!” I tried my hardest to talk some sense into him. “You’re confused. Let’s discuss this at home, okay?”

“I’m the one who’s confused?” Christian mumbled. “Alright, let’s discuss this at home, and in the meantime, you can continue to act like the deadbeat mom you are.”

What?

His disgusting words made me feel dizzy and shocked. I stared down at my shaking hand and tried to calm myself down. From all the terrible names he had called me, this one had to be the worst.

“I’m sorry, what did you just call me?” I asked to see whether he had the nerve to repeat it.

“You heard me, a deadbeat mom.” Christian repeated without a single stutter. “You don’t even ask about Siena, you don’t care about her as I do, and that’s why you’re thinking about other men, so maybe you should fix that before you want to fix me.”

That was a very low statement. My feelings for Dario had nothing to do with my love for Siena. She would always be my number one. I didn’t tell him the truth so he could bully me, I did it to work on our relationship.

I never told Christian to keep Siena with him, and I even begged him to let her come along. His words felt unfair, and deep down, I knew he didn’t mean it. At least, I hoped so.

“I hope you know that I do want to take care of my daughter, but it’s kind of hard to do so when let me!”

you don’t “I won’t let you?” Christian spoke, offended. He was so sure of himself and honestly thought he had the right to attack me like that.

“Yes, you won’t let me,” I told him. I would not yell at him because I was aware of the amount of stress he was under. He didn’t mean all of this, and after all of this was over, he would apologize and beg for my forgiveness because that was the kind of person he was. “It’s not like you’re an excellent parent. You cheated on me while I was pregnant.”

“Yes, I did, and I apologized. Are you going to bring it up every day?” Christian spoke, annoyed. I felt terrible for bringing it up, but he left me no choice.

“No, I wouldn’t-until you called me a bad parent,” I explained. I didn’t want to argue with him because I knew he didn’t mean it.

It was not him talking. It was the stress.

“You don’t wake up in the middle of the night to take care of Siena because you let other people do it instead, you don’t make her bottles, you don’t play with her, you hold her for five seconds before you get tired of her and call it a day-”

“Christian, are you drinking again?” I asked, startled. He had never called me out like that, and it came to the point where he was making up lies. I never got the chance to do those things because he wouldn’t let 1.

“I’m not drinking. I’m sober.” Christian answered.

“I’m just getting a bit sick of you, that’s all.”

The casual tone in his voice frightened me. It was probably what he thought about me all along, but this time I had pushed him just enough for him to tell me the truth.

“Do you still want to be with me, or am I wasting my time?” I asked him. I had expected a question like that to humble him, but it seemed like Christian had different plans.

1 “I don’t know anymore. I called you to apologize-but somehow, you ended up attacking me.” He spoke. “So, do you still want to be with me, or am I wasting my time?”

“I think you think you’re wasting your time,” I spoke with an awful lump in my throat. He didn’t mean all of this, and his words were so out of character. He had a lot to deal with, that was all.

“That’s clear. Thanks for your honest answer.” Christian answered. He must’ve misunderstood my words.

“Christian-”

“bye Serena, have a nice day.” He cut me off before he ended the phone call. There was once again another fault. misunderstanding, and this time it was all my What was I even trying to accomplish by confessing my love for Dario?

What did I do?