Useless Truth

“Why do you have this? I’ve obviously seen this before and there’s nothing significant about it so…” I asked with more confusion rather than shock.

I held in my hand a photograph that was taken from my childhood before my mother married Lucien. At that time, we were living alone, just the two of us.

“Do you recognize who is in the photograph?” Lucien asked.

“Of course. This photograph was taken many years ago when I was a kid, but I do remember it. This is my mother, a younger me…and this is Uncle David. I guess you don’t know him…he’s one of my mum’s friends. He would drop by now and then. He’s really kind and has many interesting stories to tell, I really liked him back then, I guess…” I replied casually as I reflected on my days with mother and Uncle Dave.

I don’t remember when was the last time that I saw him. Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen or heard from him for many years. With my mother marrying Lucien and all that, I guess I just forgot him.

Then when my mother died, I guess it was sort of natural that I didn’t expect to see much of her friends anymore…

“Uncle David…I see,” Lucien replied softly followed by a huge unsuppressed sigh.

“What’s wrong? You know, you didn’t have to make it out to be such a big deal…about this photo…” I said as I put the photograph down onto the table.

…

Lucien sighed loudly as he stared at Natalia’s disinterested face as she brushed off the photograph as if it was no big deal. His emotions were mixed, and he was unclear of his next move. However, Natalia’s reaction had reconfirmed his suspicion. For some reason or another, David had decided against revealing the fact that he was Natalia’s father to Natalia and somehow, Natalia’s mother decided to go along with it. All her life, this woman sitting right in front of him never knew that her father was still alive and was so close.

I have a few educated guesses as to why David didn’t reveal his identity and his relation as Natalia’s father to her. Once again, no one was to blame apart from the Rosenhall family and their endless greed. David decided that it would be best to have Natalia grow up without a father and have her mother live as a single mother rather than get her involved with the Rosenhall. That clearly backfired…

quite spectacularly after his death. Natalia wasn’t just involved; she was a Rosenhall now too.

I continued to watch silently as Natalia toyed with the photograph in her hand while she was probably pondering on some warm and fuzzy memories of the past while I wrestled with myself whether I should tell her that David was actually her biological father or not. Her mother was never truly a single mother.

David and Rosia, they were probably in love with each other until their dying breath and they both loved Natalia very much.

If I told her that David was her father, then I’ll have to follow that up by telling her that her father was already dead. Sometimes, the truth just isn’t useful…

…

“David was my mentor. I’ve known him for a long time, and we were very good friends…” Lucien spoke up suddenly after he seemed to be lost in thought for a while. I didn’t push him and just waited for him patiently.

“The world sure is round, huh?” I replied with a smile.

Lucien was silent once again and I could tell that he felt very conflicted as various emotions that I couldn’t identify flickered on his face. Until, after a short while, his face became a mask void of any signs of emotions. I breathed in deeply and held my breath. Lucien has made his decision…

“I apologize for the delay on this. I’ve decided that you deserve to know the truth even if it is useless and probably won’t benefit you in anyway,” Lucien stated emotionlessly with an even voice.

I couldn’t breathe and the tension in the room was threatening to swallow me whole.

“Lucien…” I said his name and found out that my voice was a barely audible whisper.

“David is your biological father. Your mother, Rosia, was never a single mother in the truest sense of the word. David was always supporting you and your mother in secret,” Lucien continued in his formal and emotionless voice. I knew without having to ask that he was dead serious and that what he just told me must be nothing but the truth.

“…I have a father? Uncle David is my father?” I asked in confusion and shock after being stunned into silence for a short while.

I wanted to laugh it off as a rotten joke but the serious look on Lucien face killed that option right off the bat. Now it was my turn to have conflicting feelings. I didn’t know how to feel or how to react to this.

Sure, biologically I knew I had a father, but I thought he left mother and I.

I thought I didn’t know him, never met him, didn’t want to have anything to do with him. How could it be? My father…I’ve met him so many times. I’ve spent so much time with him…

“Where is he now? Where is David now?” I asked as I felt tear sting my eyes. I was finding it harder to breathe and realized that my nose was running. I’m crying…are these tears of joy? Or relief?

Lucien was once again silent. His eyes were lifeless, and his face was still and blank as a stone.

Without being able to pinpoint why, I large knot formed in my stomach, and I started to feel sick. It can’t be…

“David, your father, he’s dead. I’m sorry…”

How many girls in this world are told that their father is dead while wearing a fluffy ballgown wedding dress? I guess not so many. I’m the unluckiest of the unluckiest.

--To be continued…