Broken

“Of course. I’m happy to meet you. It’s been a pretty long while…” I replied as I took my seat opposite her.

“Should we order?” She asked sweetly and I nodded.

She pressed the button to call the waitress and soon our orders were being taken. Truth be told, I had no interest in the little afternoon tea treats or the food, I just wanted to know why she called me out here today...and if there was something wrong with Zak.

Annie and I made small talk until our food arrived. I sipped on my peppermint tea as I wondered when she would just get to it. Perhaps, I should just ask her?

“Annie. It’s rare for you to meet up with me, is something the matter?” I asked, sounding concerned.

I watched as she placed her teacup down and looked straight at me.

“Are you aware of how Zak feels about you?” Annie asked, catching me off guard.

I did not expect that question from her. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at her.

“It depends on what you’re referring to,” I replied curtly.

“Zak is still very much in love with you,” Annie said, unable to hide the pain in her voice and her expression.

It wasn’t like Zak professes his love to me on a daily basis. Since I’ve been married, I’ve been devoted to my husband and my children and Zak has been devoted to building his own life. Now, whether or not that life of his included this pretty little lady in front of me or not, I didn’t quite know.

“I see…” I said, not knowing what else to say.

I would be lying if I told her that I was surprised because I wasn’t surprised. It’s unfortunate, but I knew that Zak’s feelings for me wouldn’t change that easily.

“How you been…in touch with my husband?” Annie asked, and I didn’t miss the hint in her words.

“Yes, I have. We’re good friends and we go way back. However, if you’re meaning to ask if Zak and I are involved in an affair, then the answer is a firm no,” I replied, trying to not take any offense in her words.

“I was just wondering…” Annie began but I had to stop her before she went any further.

“I understand your concern; however, I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything that would be disrespectful to my husband and my family,” I said, bluntly.

I sympathized with her; I truly do. However, the blunt truth was that it wasn’t my fault that she couldn’t make Zak fall in love with her after being married to him for five years. Period.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. To be honest, I called you out here to get your help…” Annie said with a sigh.

“My help?” I asked, curiously. I honestly couldn’t see how I could be of help.

“Yes. Tell me, how can I make Zak fall in love with me?” Annie asked desperately.

Why is she asking me this now? It’s been five years…

Not that it made a difference. I had no idea why Zak fell in love with me in the first place. There was nothing that I could have advised her back then and there is nothing that I can tell her now either.

“Let me ask you this…why do you want Zak to fall in love with you?” I asked.

“I married Zak because I love him. I still do…” Annie said, and I could sense the honesty in her eyes.

“It’s been five years, why didn’t you ask me earlier?” I asked, curiously.

“I’m not getting any younger and I was hoping to have children. I’m sure that you understand…” Annie replied. She was right, I could understand…however…

“Zak doesn’t want children. You know that, right?” I asked, trying not to sound too uncaring.

I could recall Zak’s words when I asked him about his thoughts on having children and the face he made when he said it as if he had just said it yesterday…

‘I don’t. This cursed bloodline dies with me’

“I guess…” Annie mumbled.

For a moment, I didn’t know what to say to her anymore and I felt very drained of energy. The scone and clotted cream tasted like sand as I’ve clearly loss my appetite.

“Sorry, but I honestly don’t know how I can help you. If there’s nothing else, then…” I said as I began to politely excuse myself.

I didn’t like where this conversation was going, and I couldn’t see how I could be useful even if I stayed to listen to her. Some problems in a marriage need to be dealt with by the couple. Slowly, I folded the napkin that was on my lap and began getting up from my seat.

“It’s your name he calls out at night…” Annie whispered, her eyes casted downwards.

I froze at her words.

“Annie…” I called her name softly before praying that she doesn’t cry. I didn’t want to handle someone else’s emotional breakdown right now.

“It’s always been you and it’s still you…the one he thinks about…” Annie said and I could feel the raw pain that she was feeing through her words.

She looked at me, her eyes red with oncoming tears. I sat back down in my seat as I watched her struggle with herself and her emotions. I pitied her but then…I also don’t pity her. As a woman, I sympathized with her pain; however, as someone who cares deeply for Zak, she is nothing more than someone who is trying to tie him down.

Her happiness will never be his and vice versa.

“He’s with me but it’s like he’s not. He’s close but it’s like he’s so far away. He’s not with me at all…it’s like he’s just waiting for you to return to him,” Annie continued.

She’s really broken. The five years she spent married to Zak without really being married to him has completely broken her.

“I will never return to him and I’m sure that that isn’t what Zak wants either,” I replied, simply. Zak and I, we talked about this.

“Then why won’t he fall in love with me? I’ve been trying my best for years. He won’t even sleep with me…” Annie confessed in tears.

Ok, I didn’t need to know that, but I guess I’ve sort of guessed. I’ve just about had enough of her by this point. I feel for the poor girl, but she should have listened to the warnings that Zak told her before deciding to marry him. Now she’s suffering from her own decision, and I do empathize. However, how dare she make it sound like it’s my fault that Zak doesn’t love her and that her marriage is broken?

“What makes you think that you can replace me?” I asked, bluntly.

--To be continued…