Chapter 93: First Love

What do you think about your first love?

For me, the feeling of falling in love for the first time is so innocently sweet and daringly uncontrollable.

You can’t pick who would be your first love and sometimes, he could be someone completely random.

The boy who held your hand during your first sports day in primary school. The boy who just moved in next door. Your handsome homeroom teacher. Your older sibling’s best friend…or in my case, my stepfather.

I’ve been in love with my stepfather for as long as I can remember. Probably sometime after my mother passed away. As I grew older, I realized that Lucien is absolutely a sight to behold, but when I was younger his looks were probably not what I fell in love with. I didn’t fall in love with him at first sight, that’s for sure. I don’t know how or when it started; however, at some point I surely fell in love with him.

“Have you figured it out yet?”

I stared at my mobile screen, a text from Edward. I think I have but I needed confirmation, I thought as I put my mobile away without replying to his text. After I confirm everything, I’ll meet him in person to yell at him and then thank him.

Yes, thanks to Edward and his daring push, I’ve figured out why I fell so in love with Lucien. He was my savior, that night when I got lost in the forest in the middle of a storm. Those green eyes that I’ve seen so often in my dreams, were Lucien’s eyes. After weeks of trying to piece everything together, I concluded that the event must have been real and must have taken place soon after my mother passed away. Since my mind decided to bury that event, I didn’t know for sure when it took place, but this was my best guess. Now all that is left is to ask Lucien about it, this time I won’t allow him to brush it off like last time.

If he would tell me the truth about this, I will confess my love to him. Two years is a long time, but I’ve waited for him for more than ten years already. What is another two more years?

…

I trembled slightly as I stood in an unfamiliar part of the mansion. I don’t remember the last time I was here. Lucien’s wing of the mansion was non-officially off limits to everyone in the mansion except for some maids, butlers and bodyguards that have special permission to enter to serve Lucien. In my ten years of living here in this mansion, I’ve been to this part less than three times and all of them for some type of emergency or the other. Unlike Edward’s long-abandoned wing, Lucien’s wing was modernized and luxuriously decorated.

Jake, one of Lucien’s senior bodyguards gave me a suspicious look when I walked past him in the hallway. The fact that he didn’t stop me dead in my track meant that I was not officially banned from entering so it was just unusual for me to be here. I gave him a tight smile as I walked past him. He nodded slightly back at me in greeting. If he was curious about why I was here today, he didn’t voice it.

After a walk down a very long hallway, I arrived at a large dark blue double wooden door. The door reminded me of the doorway to Edward’s old bedroom, this is the door to Lucien’s master bedroom.

I’ve been here only once before and back then I did not get to enter his room.

“Miss Natalia?” an old maid said almost in disbelief. She didn’t think I was a spirit of some sort, did she?

“Hello, is Lucien inside?” I asked. This question was redundant because I knew that he was certainly inside. If Lucien was not in his wing, Jake wouldn’t have let me in this far because there would be no reason for me to enter Lucien’s wing if he wasn’t here. At all.

“Yes, Miss Natalia. Why…are you here so late at night?” the old maid questioned in a solemn tone.

“Am I not allowed to visit my father?” I shot back with a smile.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Miss…” the maid replied softly, clearly taken aback with my tone.

“It’s late. You should retire for the night. I’m sure Lucien no longer requires your services,” I told her as I put my hand on the large door’s handle.

“Yes. Thank you, Miss Natalia,” the old maid said with a bow before turning to leave.

She didn’t stop me outright or try to block my entrance which means that Lucien didn’t give explicit orders that I’m not allowed to enter his bedroom. This is interesting…

…

“Lucien?” I called out to him in a sweet voice once I entered the room. I closed the heavy door behind me, and it automatically locked.

“Natalia, it’s a surprise to see you here. Have a seat?” Lucien replied smoothly. Contrary to his words, he did not sound surprise in the slightest. Did he expect that I would come?

I sat down on the navy leather sofa opposite to him. I’ve never been inside his bedroom, so I was a little surprise at how big the room actually is. Edward’s room was already big, it could be called a set of rooms; however, Lucien’s room was even bigger. Edward’s room was clearly a teenager’s room frozen in time while Lucien’s room was clearly modernized with grey and dark blue tones that reflected his personality pretty well.

“Is there something urgent you wanted to discuss? It is quite late…and you’ve never came to my room before,” Lucien asked as his eyes narrowed at me.

Now that I was here, I wasn’t sure what to say or how to start. I unconsciously reached up to play around with the star-shaped pendant around my neck as I thought about what to say.

“I’ve finally figured it out. The truth behind the nightmares that I was having,” I began to slowly explain.

“I see. Have they stopped? The nightmares…” Lucien asked with concern.

“Yes, they have. I think once I started to remember, the nightmare stopped,” I replied with a small smile as I gazed back at him. Does he remember? He must…

“That’s good to hear. I was going to recommend another therapist to help you if you didn’t get better soon,” Lucien replied with a sigh of relief.

“I asked you a while back about the incident in my dream and you said that you didn’t remember…” I said as I cocked my head to the side.

“Why don’t you tell me what you’ve discovered?” Lucien prompted me. Does he want to hear it from me instead of just telling me that he remembers?

“I remembered that the incident actually happened. I’m guessing a short while after my mother passed away, I got lost in that forest and a man saved me,” I said as I looked directly at Lucien to gauge his reaction. Lucien, however, wore a complete poker face and I couldn’t read him.

Lucien got up slowly as he came over to sit very close to me on the sofa. I could feel the warmth of his thigh against my own and the smell of his shampoo. He was so close.

“You must be thankful to that man who saved your life. Do you know him? What does he look like?”

Lucien asked in a sensual whisper as he moved his face closer to mine. I was immediately captivated in the depth of his green eyes.

--To be continued...