– Chapter 138

Arabella

“What?” I squeak, “Why do you want to meet Blaise?” That cannot be allowed to happen. Blaise can’t find out he’s here!

“I need allies.” Bastien explains, releasing me. “And he’s the closest possibility.”

Though my tears had been completely fake a moment before, true desperation grips me now. “No Bastien, please.” I beg. “You don’t know Blaise. If he knows the Nova pack is without an Alpha right now, if he finds out you’re here all alone, he’ll move against you.” This much, at least, is true. “I came here because I thought it was the only place I’d be safe from Selene, because Blaise is an even bigger monster than she is. He’s powermad and violent, he wants to grow his empire at any cost.”

“The Nova pack isn’t without an Alpha.” Bastien growls, “And I’m not so weak as you imagine.”

“I’m not saying you’re weak.” I insist, wincing slightly when I realize how he interpreted my words. “I’m merely saying that Blaise is impossibly strong, and far crueler than you.”

“Then what do you propose I do?” Bastien demands, “Lay low here forever, try and return home without any reinforcements?”

“I’m suggesting you look elsewhere for allies.” I breathe, “Please believe me, Blaise will not help you. He will only make things worse.”

“I believe you.” Bastien rumbles, looking as if he feels the opposite. “I’m just frustrated.”

“I know.” I tell him carefully, feeling my own frustration seethe beneath the surface of this ridiculous farce. I’m so sick of pretending to be nice and supportive of this man. I honestly don’t know how spies manage to keep up constant deception; it’s exhausting. “But you just have to tell yourself the same thing you told me after Flynn died. Do you remember?”

His brow furrows, “No.”

Of course not. I think bitterly. The one part of his memory that’s completely intact, and he can’t remember. Clearly it wasn’t important enough to him to stick. “You would say that I just have to get through this one moment in time. You told me to stop thinking about everything I had ahead of me and to take things one at a time. Survive this moment, and once that’s done, survive the next. Eventually I’d have so many behind me that the ones ahead wouldn’t feel so daunting.”

“Did it work?” Bastien asks, his silver eyes boring into me.

I want to say: Not in the fucking least you selfish mongrel. Instead I grit my teeth into a smile and force out a falsely cheerful platitude. “Of course it worked, that’s why I’m advising you to do the same now.”

Bastien’s shoulder’s slump, relaxing per my guidance, “thank you, Arabella.”

Now I finally manage a true smile, if for no other reason than I’m relieved at how completely I have the big Alpha eating out of the palm of my hand. “Of course, I’m here to help!”

_________________________

Selene

“I’m not sure this is a good idea.” Aiden gripes.

“Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?” Donavon replies, nodding towards me in encouragement.

I’ve finally convinced the Betas to let me try calling Bastien, though I have a feeling they’re going to continue arguing about the matter until the deed is done.

Raising my cell phone to my ear, I press the green send button and wait for the call to connect, muttering prayers to the Goddess under my breath. I’m expecting to suffer through a drawn out series of rings, but the line never connects at all. It goes straight to Bastien’s voicemail.

My fingers are shaking as I lower the phone and end the call. “Either his phone is dead or turned off.”

“That’s not entirely surprising.” Aiden assures me, sounding far more relaxed than I think he truly feels. “We knew he’d have to go dark for this.”

“Go dark?” I repeat skeptically, a rush of nausea taking my stomach hostage and clutching painfully at my insides. “You talk like he’s a secret agent.”

Both men shrug as if this is precisely the case, and I find myself gnashing my teeth.

“So what’s your plan for making contact again when he completes his mission?” I bite sarcastically, “Carrier pigeons? Morse code?”

“Selene,” Donavon says in a tone meant to calm me, but which only angers me more, “Bastien will check in when he can.”

“And how are you supposed to know if his silence if planned, or if it’s a sign he’s in trouble? I inquire, looking back and forth between them expectantly. I wish Odette was here, I know she’d see the logic of what I’m asking, but I needed her to babysit Lila so I could make the call.

“Selene, I know this is hard.” Aiden condescends, raising his palms to stave off my interruption.

It doesn’t work. “No, you don’t know.”I counter, pressing my own hand to my churning belly. “You have no idea what this is like for me, how difficult it is to sit here and have you all make decisions about my life – my childrens’ lives – without consulting me even once. To have a bunch of bossy men who think they know best tell me how things are going to be and brush off all my concerns as if I’m just being silly and emotional.”

Aiden opens his mouth to respond, but now it’s my turn to block his objection.

“Bastien isn’t just my friend, he’s my mate and the father of my pups. He is more important to me than either one of you could understand.” I snap at the pair of bachelors, “And there is more at stake here than you know!”

Aiden’s eyes are glowing now. “Bastien has been my best friend since we were pups, I swore my life to standing by him. We’ve fought wars together – I don’t have to share his bed to care about his well being or feel bonded to him.”

I know he’s speaking the truth, and I’m wise enough to realize that trying to preference our feelings will never convince him, so I change tracks. “Bastien wouldn’t approve of you excluding me this way. It’s not a matter of my safety this time and you know it.” I proclaim defensively.

“Think what you like.” Aiden puts his foot down. “But we have our orders, and they include not stressing you out.”

The room begins to blur as we argue, and I have to steady my hand on Bastien’s desk to stay upright.

Both men cease speaking, eyeing me nervously, “Selene, are you alright?”

“I”m fine,” I insist waving off their concerns, “I just want you to take what I’m saying seriously. I want you to consult me on matters that impact my family. Being kept in the dark is stressing me out more than knowing could!”

Aiden starts to refuse, but Donovan reaches a hand out to stall him. “No, that’s fair. You’re right, Selene. You have a right to know these things.”

“Thank you!” I exclaim, feeling as though I could hug the man. However I can’t do any more than contemplate the idea, as the room is spinning far too quickly for me to consider moving. My head feels light and fuzzy, and my body is suddenly so warm I feel like I’ve been dipped into a warm bath.

Hmm, I ponder out of nowhere. “A bath would be nice.”

It’s only when Aiden and Donovan glance at each other with identical frowns and say, “what?” that I realize I said this outloud.

“Sorry.” I murmur, my voice coming out strangely slurred. “My mind got away from me there.”

“I think maybe you should sit down.” Donovan suggests, moving towards me.

“Don’t be silly.” I argue, swatting him away, “I already am sitting!”

Stern hands push me onto a couch, and I belatedly realize I must not have been sitting after all.

“Selene, can you hear us?” Aiden is asking, sounding very far away.

“I hear…” I murmur deliriously, an image of a megaphone appearing in my mind. That’s what he needs. When did he get so quiet anyway? And why is his face all swirly?

“Your head is a megaphone.” I inform him firmly.

Something is very wrong, I realize, much too late. The room is tilting sideways, the floor and ceiling seeming to switch positions.

“Call the doctor, right now.” Donovan sounds far away too, and yet they’re both right in front of me.

“Wou’ you stop thhhat?” I request, needing them to stop throwing their voices around, and internally pleading they would stop blurring together like a pair of two-headed monsters.

The next thing I know darkness is closing in. The last thing I remember before the world goes black is Lila bursting into the study and stopping dead in her tracks when she sees me. I reach toward her as she cries my name, but my arm falls uselessly by my side as I slip away into unconsciousness.