– Chapter 161

Selene

“Mommy, are you wake?” A little voice speaks in my ear.

Slowly I return to the waking world, blinking open my tired eyes and registering the warm little body snuggling up against me. “Hello little bean.” I murmur, wrapping my arms around Lila and pulling the covers more tightly around us.

Lila hasn’t slept through the night in her own room since Bastien left. Instead she’s taken to crawling into my bed somewhere between the hours of midnight and dawn, which both warms my heart and makes handling my morning sickness more difficult. Today the sun is just beginning to rise, and Helene’s soothing draughts have actually managed to ease the worst of my symptoms, so I’m happy to simply lie here and cuddle with my daughter until we’re ready to get up.

“Mommy, I had a dream ‘bout Daddy.” Her morning puppy breath is terrible, so I tuck her head beneath my chin, earning myself a mouthful of her hair.

“You did?” I inquire, smoothing down her tangled locks, “was it a nice dream, I hope?”

“Uh-huh.” She nods against my breast. “We were playing pony, an’ da flying game.”

“That’s wonderful.” I breathe, honestly elated that she’s not having nightmares like I am. I hate that she misses him so much, but I’m glad her dreams are sweet memories rather than horrible possibilities. Ever since talking with Helene, my nights have been haunted with terrible images of Bastien hurt, imprisoned, or dead.

“Mommy, will Daddy be home soon?” Lila wonders aloud.

I’m fully awake now, with a large lump caught in my throat. “I don’t think so, sweetheart.” I admit.

She looks up at me in alarm, and I wonder if my honesty was a mistake. “Why not?”

“Because things aren’t going so well. It might be some time before we see him again, Lila.” I confess.

Her tiny face twists up, turning red as tears well in her eyes. “But I wan’ him home!”

“I know, angel.” I hush her gently, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I do too.”

“I’s not fair!” She exclaims, heading straight towards a tantrum. “I want Daddy!”

“I’m so sorry, Lila.” I profess, on the verge of tears myself. “If I could bring him home for you this second, I would. Things just aren’t that simple.”

“You’re liar!” She accuses. “You pwomised he wouldn’ be gone long!”

“I was wrong.” I admit. “Mommies don’t know everything sweetheart, we can only do our best.”

“You don’ care!” She cries, pushing me away. “you’re never ‘ven here ‘nymore!”

Deep down I know Lila understands I love her. Deep down I know this is just my baby being a toddler and testing her limits, but my heart doesn’t think with that kind of logic, my heart just sees my pup in pain and breaks into pieces knowing I’m the one causing it.

“Lila, I care about you more than anything in the world.” I vow firmly, trying to rub her back and earning a wail for my efforts. “I know I’ve been busy lately and we haven’t gotten to spend as much time together, but that’s not by choice. If I could, I would stay with you always, but grown ups have responsibilities sweetheart. I’m sorry you’re hurting, but one day you’ll understand.”

“No I won’!” She insists, “Go away!”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I choke out the words. “That’s not how this works. You can be upset with me all you want, but I’m going to be here whether you like it or not.”

She’s in full tantrum mode now, squealing and beating her hands and feet against the mattress while I sit next to her and try to push down my own feelings. It’s no use, within seconds I’m crying too, breaking into a sob and burying my face in my hands instead. I can only imagine the picture we make. If Bastien was here he’d walk in and fuss over us both, comforting me and helping Lila work through her feelings until we were ready to kiss and make up.

But he’s not here, and it hits me all at once how much of a difference he’s made in our lives in such a short time. It used to be me and Lila against the world, but finding a mate and a father made us both realize what we’d been missing, and now it doesn’t feel like enough just being together. One day we might get there again, but right now… right now it’s just going to hurt.

Next to me, Lila’s tears quiet, and I feel a pair of miniature paws tugging at my wrists. Apparently she realized she wasn’t the only one having a meltdown, and is now determined to see my face. Sighing heavily I drop my hands and show her my red eyes and miserable expression. Her two-tone eyes widen as her full lower lip quivers violently. “I sorry, Mommy, please don’ be sad.”

“I am sad.” I explain forlornly, “I miss your Daddy, and I hate seeing you upset.”

Lila climbs into my lap without a moment of hesitation, wrapping herself around me. “Is okay, Mommy.” She sniffles, “I make it better.” She presses sweet little kisses to my wet cheeks, and I moan pitifully, holding her close.

“I really am sorry, Lila.” I confide, when I can speak again. “I haven’t been giving you enough attention. Why don’t we do something special today, just us?”

“I’d like dat.” She agrees.

“Good.” I exhale shakily, swiping at my cheeks. “Let’s make a deal okay. No more tears today, only fun.”

Lila nods enthusiastically, “Deal.”

______________________________

After a full day of playing in the park, painting pottery and going to a movie with Lila, we’re both fairly exhausted. By the time we get back to the pack house Lila is passed out in her car seat, and I have to carry her all the way to the top floor to get her to bed.

When I enter the apartment, I find a full house. Drake, Sophie, Odette and the Betas are all there, and all offer to take Lila from me. However I don’t want to let anyone else have her. I put her down for a nap in her room, before rejoining the others.

No sooner have I entered the main living area that a knock sounds on the door, and I find a sentry holding an envelope which was apparently just delivered via courier. It takes a second for me to realize why the guard’s expression is so urgent, but then Bastien’s scent hits my senses like a ton of bricks. I snatch up the envelope, ripping it open and eagerly extracting its contents. Excitement and relief when I recognize Bastien’s handwriting, but as I begin to read confusion and overwhelming hurt take over.

Selene,

You will be disappointed to learn that your assassins failed. I am alive and well, and I know what you’ve done.

Consider this the beginning of the end. Your efforts have truly been impressive, but now that I know the truth, I will not rest until you are behind bars. You will pay for your crimes, and no amount of pleading or lies will save you now.

I am writing you today for two reasons, first to inform you that I am having our marriage annulled as soon as possible, and I will be formally rejecting you as soon as the papers are filed. Don’t bother refusing to sign them, your consent is not required under these circumstances. I also plan on publically disowning your child – she may be innocent in this, but I refuse to acknowledge Frederic’s bastard as my own.

Second, you and Frederic would be wise to give up your schemes and leave Elysium immediately. I will not let you go if you do, you will be hunted to the ends of the earth – but every day I fail to catch you, is another day you get to live. I feel I owe you at least that much, if you are in fact my mate.

Either way, you may consider this your formal notice: I am coming for you both, and when I find you all hell will reign down. What you have done is unforgivable, and no bond on earth could ever save you from being held accountable.

Your days are numbered.

Bastien

Beneath the letter is a stack of legal documents, pages and pages of forms explaining in very fancy language that our marriage was being annulled on the grounds of gross deceit and criminal deception. I flip through them in stunned silence, barely able to comprehend what I’m seeing. Luna is howling in my chest, but I’m still just trying to make sense of Bastien’s bizarre letter.

“Selene, what’s wrong?” Odette asks, crossing the living room to stand in front of me.

“It’s Bastien.” I say, my voice like gravel. This gets everyone’s attention. Suddenly Drake, Sophie and the betas are all gathered around me, and I’m infinitely glad Lila is napping. “He’s alive.” I announce, to their immense relief. “And he’s rejecting me… again.”