– Chapter 117

Selene

Bastien is watching me when I wake up. Propped on his elbow and tracing patterns across my bare belly with a goofy grin on his face. Shivering in the cool morning air, and less than amused to have my covers stolen from me, I roll towards my mate, “Bastien I’m cold.” I whine.

“I’m sorry little wolf,” He chuckles, snuggling me close, “I couldn’t help myself.”

“You know it’s very creepy to watch someone sleep.” I grumble sleepily.

“I’m the Alpha, I can do whatever I want.” He counters smugly, “even if it’s creepy.”

Breathing in his familiar scent, I try to calm my stomach. Suddenly my late night snack is seeming like a very bad mistake. My insides are roiling with sour acid, and I can feel my gorge rising in my throat. For a moment, I think I might be able to ease the sickness, but I quickly realize it is not hope. Rolling out of Bastien’s arms, I dart for the bathroom, my hand clasped over my mouth.

I can hear Bastien following on my heel, and though I try to close the door behind me, he forces his way through anyway. Slamming the toilet seat up and miserably emptying my stomach into the porcelain bowl, I drop to my knees on the cold tiles. My mate’s large, warm hands pull my hair back from my face and rub up and down my back. Bastien makes soothing, sympathetic noises, and as much as I appreciate his affection, I can’t help but think he’s going to have to get used to this.

Closing the lid and resting my forehead on my arm, I glance up at the concerned wolf, “This is nothing.” I moan. “Just wait.”

“Poor baby.” Bastien croons, stroking my hair. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just keep doing that.” I murmur pitifully.

“We need to get you in to see a doctor.” He muses, “surely they can prescribe you something.”

I nod, “I’ll make an appointment.”

In the distance I hear Lila calling me, and Bastien’s lips graze my temple, “I’ll go.” He assures me, “Do you think you can stomach any breakfast?”

Before I can answer, another wave of nausea rolls over me, and my head is already back in the toilet.

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When I finally make it out into the living room, Lila is helping Bastien make pancakes. She’s sitting on the counter next to the bowl, stirring while he pours flour into the mix. I move towards her, but the moment the scent of sizzling bacon hits my nose, I turn green and retreat.

“Mommy, where you going?” my pup inquires, squirming on the marble surface like she wants to get down but can’t figure out how. Wiping his hands, Bastien lifts her down, and Lila runs to hug me good morning.

“I’m sorry, angel.” I hum, kissing her sweet-smelling head. “Mommy’s tummy is upset.”

We’re still standing there huddled in the living room when Aiden enters a moment later. “You’re late, Bastien!” He announces, pushing through the door without knocking. The beta turns to face Lila and I, a wide grin splitting his cheeks. “Good morning, my lovelies.”

The next thing I know, a vicious snarl sounds from the kitchen, and in the blink of an eye Bastien is in front of us. His claws are extended and his fangs bared, eyes aglow with rage as he glares at his best friend. “Bastien what are you doing?” I exclaim.

Aiden’s palms raise, and though surprised, he doesn’t seem alarmed. “Easy brother, I’m not going to touch them.”

While Bastien heaves in deep breaths like a wild beast, Aiden glances at me and scents the air, sudden understanding washing over his features. “I see.” He smiles, “feeling a bit extra protective, buddy?”

“Daddy why’re you grumpy?” Lila pipes up, reading her father’s threatening behavior as little more than a bad mood.

“Your Daddy’s wolf is just a little on edge.” Aiden explains in a low, even tone, “he just needs a minute to calm down.”

“Bastien, it’s only Aiden.” I add, reaching for his hand. His silver eyes jerk down to me, swirling with savage ire. “We’re safe.” Slowly the red haze clouding his vision ebbs away, and his rigid muscles relax.

Looking back to his second in command, Bastien sighs, “I’m sorry Aiden, I don’t know what came over me.”

“I do.” Aiden laughs, tentatively stepping forward to give his friend a hug, “It seems congratulations are in order.”

Bastien returns the embrace, looking far more lighthearted now, “Thank you. We’re very excited.”

“Excided bout what?” Lila chirps curiously, obviously feeling left out of these strange events.

Aiden looks like he wants to hug me too, but seems to think it’s too soon to attempt such close proximity. Instead he turns to my pup, “excited that your Mommy bought a new cafe!” He lies smoothly.

Bastien and I both shoot him appreciative looks, we are definitely not ready to explain this to Lila yet. “But we ready knew dat.” Lila exclaims, as if we’ve all lost our minds.

“Well Aiden didn’t.” I correct her warmly, “This is the first time we’ve seen him since it happened.”

Rising to my feet and carrying the pup with me, I push Lila into Bastien’s arms, forcing him to calm down further. Before I can think of moving away, he snakes his free arm around me, sandwiching himself between our bodies.

Aiden is watching us with obvious amusement, but then his face twists up into a grimace as he peers towards the kitchen. “I think your bacon is burning.”

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Bastien

“You know you’ll have to go now.” Aiden says grimly once we’re alone in my office.

I don’t need him to explain, I know he’s talking about the Calypso pack. I’ve been thinking about going for a while now, and now it’s more important than ever to deal with these threats. At the same time, I can’t stomach the idea of leaving Selene when she’s so vulnerable. “I can’t leave my pregnant mate alone, especially not when we still have enemies here.” I’ve already filled my Betas in about my mom seeing Odile, and Donavon has been scouring the city since.

“Bastien, if it’s another girl…” Aiden scrubs a tired hand over his face, “you don’t have a choice.”

“I know that!” I snap, lashing out at him and instantly regretting it. “I’m sorry,” I sigh, “It’s not just the danger, or the need to protect Selene. She was really sick last time, and I wasn’t there to take care of her. She did it all alone…” I don’t want to admit my other fears, but they spill out of me anyway. “And I missed it. I missed seeing her perform a miracle, I missed seeing my daughter grow into being and enter the world.”

As much as I hate to admit it, I’m not sure what bothers me more, not being here to protect my family, or missing out on these experiences. The knowledge fills me with guilt and shame, what kind of wolf am I? What kind of Alpha puts their own selfish desires over the safety of their loved ones?

“You’re doing this to protect them.” Aiden reminds me, as if reading my thoughts. “So that the next pup that comes won’t have to worry about any of this. So that you can be there for every second of the journey. Selene is only 24, she has a lot of breeding years ahead of her still. As long as she has a future, you’ll have more chances… but she has to have a future, Bastien.”

He’s right. I know he’s right. “How am I even supposed to leave again when the pack is still angry at me for chasing Selene to Asphodel?”

“Because you won’t be leaving everything to the council this time. Odette, Donavon, Selene and I will still be here to take care of business. Between the four of us, we’ll keep the trains running.” My beta reasons.

As much as I want Selene to feel empowered as my mate and get involved with governing the pack, the plans we’ve drawn up for my hypothetical trip didn’t account for her being pregnant. Now not only is she going to be starting a new business and wrangling a toddler, she’s going to be sick as a dog.

“You’re going to have to watch Selene very carefully. All of you.” I tell Aiden, “she’ll work herself into the ground if you let her.”

“We’ll take care of her.” Aiden promises, “And Lila. We’ll be in constant contact, and it won’t be that long.”

“Why do you say that?” I ask.

“Because it can’t be.” He responds stonily, “We can get by without you – keep people placated – for maybe a month. Any more than that and… I don’t know what would happen.”

The prospect of my mission is seeming more and more impossible. I’ve got to infiltrate the Calypso territory, somehow get close to Blaise without him finding out who I am, and either convince him to give up his hunt for Volana wolves, or make it impossible for it to continue. And now I only have a month to do it.

“One month,” I nod in agreement.

“Have you told Selene?” Aiden wonders aloud.

“She knows I’ve thought about it, but she doesn’t realize how serious I was.” I exhale, dragging a hand through my hair. “How the hell am I going to tell her?”

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