– Chapter 119

Bastien

“I’m not sure we should do this today.” Selene frets, watching Lila nibble on a slice of apple. It’s just before lunchtime on Saturday, and we’ve agreed to tell our pup about the new addition to our family before night falls.

“Everyone is going to know before too long.” I remind her, “she should hear it from us, not from whispers on the street.”

“She wouldn’t know what they meant even if she did hear them.” Selene argues, “she’s too young. We should wait.” Only we can’t wait, because I need to know everything is alright before I leave for the Calypso pack. I need to make sure my family is on solid footing, that Selene and Lila can thrive without me. “The more time she has to get used to the idea, the better.” I remind my mate.

“Yes but…” Selene trails off, cradling her belly, “Bastien nothing is certain until we’ve made it past the first trimester. If something goes wrong… I don’t want to have to explain that to her on top of everything else.”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” I question, striding towards her. “You’re afraid you might lose the baby?” The idea hadn’t even occurred to me, I’ve been so worried about Blaise Denizen and Selene’s health, that I never dreamed such a tragedy might occur amidst all our other problems.

“Not afraid so much as cautious.” She answers, “It’s a lot more common than you think.”

“That’s not going to happen.” I insist, holding her tightly.

“You don’t know that.” Selene whispers sadly, “And you can’t control this. We don’t have the power here – only the Goddess does.”

“Selene.” I breathe, “this baby is going to arrive healthy and whole, in her own time and at her own pace.” I can’t explain why I think the child will be another girl, it’s just a feeling deep in my bones.

Selene is convinced it’s a boy, but we’ve agreed to leave it a mystery until the baby arrives.

“Stop saying that!” My wife exclaims, “You’ll jinx us.”

“Baby, it’ll be okay.” I promise, kissing her deeply, “now let’s tell Lila and help her get used to the idea, rather than courting disaster.”

“Fine,” She grumbles, “But she’s going to have a lot of questions, and since this is your idea, you get to be the one to answer them.”

“That’s alright by me.” I answer simply, internally baffled at how I’m going to explain where babies come from to a three year old, but unwilling to cave to Selene’s pressure.

Together we cross the kitchen to our pup, plastering smiles on our faces. They start out just for show, to help encourage the toddler to be excited, but it doesn’t take long for our genuine joy to shines through the facade.

“Lila,” Selene begins, drawing her miniature’s attention. “We have some exciting news to tell you.”

“What news?” Lila asks easily, bouncing up and down in her chair, “Are we going on an venture?”

“Sort of,” my mate grins, squeezing my hand. “Our family is about to get bigger, and that’s always an adventure. Daddy and I… well, that is to say: You’re going to be a big sister!”

The pup’s tiny face falls, scrunching up into an indignant pout, “What?”

“Mommy is going to have a baby.” I explain gently. “In a few months you’ll have a little sister.”

“Or brother.” Selene corrects me in exasperation, swatting at my arm.

Catching her little hand and tugging her under my arm, I turn my attention back to our daughter. “A little sister or brother.”

Lila thinks about this for a long moment, looking back and forth between our expectant faces before deciding. “No, tank you.”

“Honey, it’s not really a choice. It’s going to happen.” I clarify.

“But I don’t want a baby.” Lila answers pointedly, as if I’m being much too slow on the uptake.

“Well Lila bean, I’m afraid you’re going to get one anyway.” Selene informs her softly.

“But why?” The pup inquires indignantly.

“Because the baby is already inside me, already growing.”

Selene shares, stroking a hand over her belly.

“So take it out.” Lila suggests going back to her apple as if this solves everything.

Smothering a smile, I inform her, “That’s not possible, little one.” Giving Selene a reassuring squeeze, I gloss over the possible complications. “Once a baby is there, it won’t come out until it’s ready to be born.”

The toddler’s head jerks up in alarm. I can see the thoughts whirring behind her wide eyes, and she eventually huffs, “But how’d it get dere?”

“Daddy put it there.” Selene explains, petting Lila’s cheek, “Just like he once put you there.”

Lila’s head cocks to the side, confusion clear on her face. “What?”

“You were inside me once too.” Selene tells the pup, leaning her elbows on the counter so that they’re eye to eye. “I grew you like a little bean, until you grew big and strong enough to come out into the world.

You’ve seen mommies carrying babies in their tummies before, remember?”

“Yeah, but your tummy s’not big like deirs.” The pup reasons.

“It will be.” Selene declares, “It’s going to get bigger and bigger over the next few months, until it’s so big I can’t even see my own feet.”

The image puts a beaming smile on my face; I can’t wait to see my mate round and swollen with my pup. Needing to touch the walking miracle in front of me, I slide my palm over Selene’s hip, gently kneading the small of her back in a way that makes her arch and stretch like a contented housecat.

“But..” Lila gnaws her lower lip in “How’d Daddy put da baby in dere?” Selene glances over her shoulder, arching an expectant brow in my direction.

Flashing her a wolfish grin as she continues to purr beneath my ministrations, I improvise, “Well, when mommies and daddies want to make a baby, they do a special kind of… dance.”

“A dance?” Lila repeats skeptically.

“Yes,” I continue, feeling suddenly inspired. “They hold each other very close and pour all their love for each other into the steps. Then, when they’re ready, they make a wish with all their hearts – and if they’re lucky, a tiny seed will get planted, and then it grows and grows.

The pup considers my words, before a hopeful expression comes over her face. “Can I see da dance?” Selene chokes on a laugh, and I squeeze her side, barely able to contain my own amusement. “No angel,” she recovers, “It has to be done in private, or the wish won’t come true.”

A new thought seems to occur to Lila then, and she looks back and forth between Selene and I, her sweet countenance full of doubt.

“Why’d you wish it t’all? We don’ need a baby.”

“We wished it because we love you so very much, that we wanted another pup every bit as wonderful as you are.” I answer solemnly. “You brought so much happiness to our lives, and this new baby is going to do the same.”

“But you ready have me!” She exclaims, her bottom lip trembling dangerously. Suddenly I realize that, to Lila, all my pretty placations have sounded like she isn’t enough for us. Panic slices through me as I scramble to figure out how I can fix this.

Fortunately I don’t need to. As usual, Selene knows just what to say. “I’m going to tell you a secret, Lila.” She murmurs, gathering up our daughter’s small hands and bringing them to her lips. “And it’s very important you remember this, okay?” My mate waits until the pup nots in agreement before pressing on. “Love is infinite – do you know what that word means?”

Lila shakes her head in denial.

“It means that it doesn’t have any limits.” Selene summarizes. “It never ends, it doesn’t have a bottom or a top and if you let it, it will just get bigger and bigger and never stop growing. Nothing can stop it, nothing can contain it. You can keep adding to it forever and never run out. So getting a brother or sister doesn’t mean we’re going to love you any less, and it doesn’t mean you haven’t given us enough happiness to satisfy us. It just means that we all get more.

More love, more happiness, more fun and adventures – for you as well as us…

Do you understand?”

Nodding but still looking disgruntled, Lila sighs.

“D’we have ta keep it?”

“Yes, my darling.” Selene kindly dashes the toddler’s hopes, “We do. But you know what? You’re going to like being a big sister so, so much. You two will be such great friends. They’re going to love you and look up to you, you’ll always have someone to play with and talk to. It’s going to be so fun!”

Lila looks up at us from beneath her lashes. “You pwomise?”

Selene and I share a tender smile before pledging our vow to the beloved creature in front of us, “We promise.”