– Chapter 200

Selene

“Why do you have that look on your face?” I ask Bastien, suspiciously eyeing his tense expression as he guides our car through the winding mountain roads.

My father is in the back seat napping, and another vehicle follows behind us, transporting Helene and Frederic’s coffins. It’s both grim and comforting to be returning home under such circumstances, and I know Bastien is feeling as conflicted as I am about feeling so happy when our journey cost us so much. Still, I don’t think that’s what’s bothering him – but something clearly is. “Are you worried about how the pack is going to receive you?”

“No.” Bastien sighs, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck.

“Then what?” I press, wanting to comfort him the same way he’s comforted me over the last few days. After the initial elation about surviving wore off, a thousand distraught feelings closed in around me, threatening to pull me under. Nightmares about Blaise, guilt about Helene and Frederic, sorrow about their losses and anxiety about the babies – my pregnancy hormones didn’t help, but Bastien was there for every last unpleasant and unwelcome feeling I faced.

At first I think Bastien is going to ignore my question, but eventually he sneaks a glance my way out of the corner of his eye. “It’s Lila.” He finally admits.

Of all the potential explanations, this is the last one I was expecting. “What about Lila?”

“It’s stupid.” Bastien says, attempting to brush off his worries.

“Come on, just tell me.” I encourage. “There are no stupid worries when it comes to being a parent.”

Again it takes what seems like an age for Bastien to find his words, but gradually he opens up, “She only knew me for a few months before I left.” He says softly. “What if… what if she doesn’t remember me, or want me back?”

“Bastien, she’s been asking for you every day.” I share, “She was doing it before I left and Drake says the only thing that changed after is that now she’s been asking for both of us.”

For a second, Bastien looks relieved but then his face falls, “Why doesn’t that make me feel better?” He questions solemnly.

“Because having a pup is like taking your heart outside of your body.” I reason, unable to stop my lips from quirking upward as I continue. “And instilling it in a tiny illogical munchkin with the power to light up your entire world while also driving you slowly insane. We both want her to miss us, but feel guilty that she was hurting while we were away.” I explain, “I feel the same way.”

“And we’re about to have two more.” Bastien murmurs, downsizing mildly terrified to feel three times the stress, anxiety, pressure and pure depth of love he feels now.

“I know.” I agree, not needing him to say anymore to understand what he’s thinking, “and if you thought Lila was reluctant to accept the idea of one baby, wait until we tell her there’s going to be two.” I joke, although the more I think about it, it’s really not a joke.

Bastien laughs, “Goddess, I can’t wait to see her.”

“I can’t wait to meet her.” My father adds.

“She’s going to love you, Dad.” I tell him with a grin, half smiling because it’s true, and half because I simply can’t help myself every time I say that word. Twenty five years and I finally get to call someone Dad. Just one more thing that doesn’t quite seem real.

“How much farther do we have to go?” He asks, clearly antsy being confined in such a small space for so long, so soon after escaping prison.

“About an hour.” I tell him. “Drake and Sophie brought Lila to Elysium to meet us, so that we wouldn’t have to go all the way to the west coast after already driving so far.”

“Have your betas told you what to expect?” James asks Bastien, “from the sounds of it things were pretty contentious when Selene left.”

“They’ve been trying to smooth things over with the back in anticipation of our return, but I think we’re in for a difficult few months.” Bastien shares, glancing at my belly again.

Reaching for his big paw, I give it a squeeze. “We’ll be okay.” I promise, “after what we just went through we can handle anything – even two babies in the middle of a revolution.”

“Don’t even joke about that.” Bastien scolds. “You and I are done with excitement, little wolf. From here on out it’s only wedded bliss, rambunctious pups and non death-defying adventures.”

“If you say so.” I smile, giving his hand another squeeze, “besides there’s no better adventure than raising a family.”

“Exactly.” Bastien nods in agreement.

A little while later we cross over the high mountain ridges into the Nova pack territory, and shortly after that the city comes into view. The closer we draw the more excited I become, practically bouncing up and down in my seat, I’m so eager to see my precious pup.

We pull up to the pack house just before sunset, and within moments our family both real and adoptive come pouring out the front door. Odette, Aiden, Donovan, Drake, and Sophie all come racing out to greet us, and as thrilled as I am to see them, there’s only one person I really care about in this moment.

Stepping out of the car, we’re enveloped in an endless stream of warm hugs, but I’m already looking around for my pup, wondering why she’s not with any of the others. Drake has only just told us she’s napping, when I hear her small voice in the distance, “Mommy! Daddy!”

Bastien and I both rush inside to meet Lila as she comes flying down the stairs, both warning her to be careful despite the fact that we both want her in our arms as soon as possible. I’m crying by the time she flies into my arms, and for once, I know it’s not the pregnancy. “Lila bean!”

Bastien’s arms come around us both as we cling to each other in the middle of the stairwell, and I realize I’m not the only one crying. Lila is sobbing into my neck, and Bastien’s eyes are shining with tears as he rains kisses down on us both. “Mommy, you were gone for so long!” Lila wails, “and Daddy you promised you’d be home ages ago!”

“I know little one,” Bastien tells her huskily, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why’d you leave me?” She cries, balancing between our bodies, one arm around my neck, and one around his.

“We didn’t want to, angel.” I assure her, “I’m so so sorry.”

“I promise we’ll never leave you again.” Bastien vows, stroking her long, dark hair.

It takes a while for us to all calm down, tending our overwrought emotions with lots of snuggles and reassurances. My heart both aches and overflows with joy to be reunited with my baby, even when she tells me how fat I am. About an hour after we arrive, Lila finally settles, nodding off between us on the couch. Of course, before she actually goes under, she remembers to ask a very important question. “Did you bring me a pwesent?” Lila murmurs sleepily.

Bastien and I laugh, and I can’t resist tickling her tiny feet, despite the fact that she’d been nearing sleep. “As a matter of fact, we did.” I share, earning myself a baffled look from my mate.

“Really?” Lila inquires groggily, “What is it? Can I has it now?”

Beaming at my father over Lila’s head, I encourage him to come forward. “Actually, we brought you a grandfather.”

Lila sits up, suddenly very awake and cocking her head to the side, “really?” She questions curiously.

“Really.” I reply, flipping her around so she can see James. “What do you think?”

Lila clambers off of our laps, toddling across the rug to stand in front of my father. She looks up at him with wide eyes, and I fear I’m going to start crying all over again when I see the way James is looking at her, as if she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “Hello Lila.” He greets her gently.

My pup studies my father closely for a long moment, before nodding and looking over her shoulder at us. “I keep him.” Lila declares firmly, turning back to smile shyly up at James, “You’re mine now.”

As I watch my father laughs and pulls my pup into his arms, I lean into Bastien’s familiar warmth, trying to stay present in this incredible moment even as my mind whirls through the past. I truly can’t believe how far we’ve come, and as difficult as our path was, I can’t regret a moment of it. After all, if things had happened differently, we might have never reached this place. Our family is whole at last, and that is worth every hard day, every trial and tribulation.

I’m safe for the first time in my life. My daughter is safe, and when her brother and sister arrive, they’ll never have to fight for their freedom. Bastien and I took our sweet time finding our way back together, but now we’re stronger than ever. Nothing and no one can ever keep us apart.

“What are you grinning about?” Bastien asks me, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Nothing.” I answer, leaning over to kiss him softly. “I’m just happy.”

“Good.” Bastien remarks, returning my kiss with one of his own. “You should get used to it. You’ve got a lifetime of happy ahead of you.”

Beaming, I fall into the bottomless pools of his silver eyes, feeling truly at home. “I know.”

The End.

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