Chapter 629: Her first and last kiss

Zoren’s frustration and disappointment stemmed from the fact that he couldn’t protect Penny the way he should have. However, he might not have been there to stop the attacks or prevent the situation from escalating, but he still came.

He appeared just when no one — not even Penny — expected him.

Things could have gone for the worst, but they didn’t because he stepped in. She could’ve hurt someone tonight that she would have regretted once she woke up. Many possibilities could have occurred if Penny had been left alone. She could have done something much worse once the fight was over and she decided it wasn’t enough.

"Zoren Pierson," Penny called, tilting her head slightly. "Aren’t you a lovely man? Surely, I was making good choices in this lifetime."

Zoren’s face was still sour because even if she said all of that, it wasn’t enough to give him peace. At the end of the day, even if he was protecting her emotionally, he needed to do more than that.

"Zoren." Penny wiped some blood off his palm with her thumb as she spoke. "I’ve been studying myself for quite some time now, and there’s only one thing I can say."

She looked up at him and smiled. "I didn’t change. Though I might have made smarter decisions in this lifetime, I was the same as I used to be... just a lot happier."

"I’m saying this because I don’t think I will have the courage to tell you this. Or perhaps I’ll think that you’d understand even without me telling you," she continued in the same mild tone. "I am more capable, smarter, and wiser. You can’t change me, and I can’t change myself even if I want to. I am like this."

"I would jump into the middle of the battlefield if it meant I could save the people I love and care about. I went to prison to save my brother, and even if it hurt... I don’t regret it. The only regret I feel is that I was doing so much for the wrong people," she added. Oddly enough, she looked at peace while talking about this.

Penny slowly leaned in and hugged him, patting his back as if to comfort him. "Even if you sacrifice your life, there’s no way you can stop everything from hurting me. It’s not because your efforts are not enough. It’s just because I am human, and I will get hurt one way or another. It’s an inevitable part of life. You’re not God, and you can’t protect me at all times."

"All I’m saying is... I will keep jumping into the fire to save the people I love because that’s who I am," she whispered, smiling. "Don’t get mad at me for being me; rather, be someone who will make sure I get out of that fire alive."

Slowly, Penny released him and cupped his face. "And I’ll do the same for you," she added, brushing his cheek with her thumb. "I won’t stop you from being you. I might get upset and worried, but expect that once you come out of that fire, I’ll be the one holding a fire extinguisher. Perhaps I’d bring it in while jumping into the fire with you."

"She will not tell you this not because she is afraid to say it or scared of you," she remarked. "She will not say it because there’s no need for her to say it. She’ll do it anyway. Unlike the sober me, who only wants you to be yourself... and is content that you’re here, I ask you to take care of me."

"Inside this head is an everyday battlefield." She nodded at him. "Don’t be one of the battlefields I have to fight."

The more Zoren listened to her words, the calmer he felt. The fury that had been blazing in his heart slowly and gradually disappeared. Reaching out for her hand, he let out a shallow breath.

"You’re right. You... the two versions of yourself are the same." His lips curled into a wry smile. "Though she wouldn’t say all of this to me."

"I wouldn’t say all of this to you either."

"Then why?"

Penny pressed her lips into a thin line and shrugged. "I just felt like I should." — or rather, she felt like she might not wake up again. After Penny’s session in the clinic today, this version of her remembered everything, and the more she was awake, the more the events before she awoke were coming back to her.

This was something the drunk Penny had never experienced before. Normally, whenever she woke up, she wouldn’t remember a thing about what had happened before. Tonight was different. She was remembering things slowly and steadily, as if what separated her and sober Penny was slowly becoming one.

However, she wished to experience a lot more things, like having her parents — the entire family — gathered in the hospital for her. It felt a little petty, but they used to gather in the hospital for Nina. She wanted to experience that as well.

"I see." Zoren nodded in understanding, sighing. "Then, it’s decided."

"Hmm?"

He offered her a subtle smile. "I will not be the person who puts you in the fire... no, that’s not correct. Even if I don’t want to put you in the flames, my world is surrounded by it." Zoren cupped her face gently, afraid he would hurt her bruise.

"I’ll try so that not a single flame will touch you, and if that’s impossible, then I’ll have all medicine kits, survival kits, and all other kits prepared for you," he joked, making her giggle. When his smile faded, he confessed, "I’m still frustrated, though."

"I know you are." Penny bit her bottom lip while staring at his face. The corners of her lips curled up, and she leaned forward a little, sneaking a kiss onto his lips. A short giggle escaped her as his brows rose. "We haven’t kissed, you know?"

"Oh..."

"But it’s okay. I always have fun talking to you that it didn’t seem to matter," she reassured with a grin before her cheeks turned red, giggling. "I just had my first kiss tonight."

His eyes softened as he chuckled. He reached for her face and slowly leaned forward, tilting his head a little to the side.

"And this is the second one," he whispered, his breath brushing against her upper lip before claiming her lips softly and gently.

Penny’s eyes remained wide, wondering how long his lips would stay on hers. But when his mouth started moving, she froze. Even so, she shut her eyes and clasped his shoulders, knowing this would be her first and probably her last kiss.

’It would’ve been nice if we also did THAT,’ she thought, smiling. ’But well, this isn’t bad at all. So, this is how we kiss, huh? This... is a kiss, huh? It’s nice.’