Chapter Sixteen- A finger twitch

(The pajamas that Will wears 😕)^

I am absolutely astonished at how many views this book has gotten, seemingly overnight. It's quite overwhelming, since I haven't even finished it yet. I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter and thanks, once again, for the votes, views and comments 💛

[...]

Will's POV

"Wake up plea-mum made some coo-I think that- Spencer and I we-I really miss yo-"

My ears recognise the sound of my sister, her voice full of forged enthusiasm, but my mind refuses to focus. Her sentences are jolted; out of place, rarely finished before my attention deteriorates.

It's been like this for weeks.

Everyday, they talk to me but I can't hear them properly- the sound is a gurgled mess.

Sometimes my arm aches, as well as my left eye, but sometimes it doesn't. It feels so unbearably numb that I wish for the feeling of pain. Of course, when the pain arrives, I long for numbness again.

It's a viscous cycle; loosing my hearing for hours on end and retrieving it for just a few moments.

I feel the soft, silky material of pajamas strapped to my body; it's suffocating. It's like I've gone back to the beginning, like nothing has changed over these excruciating months. Once upon a time I found them comforting, I had a routine; a strict order that I devoted my pitiful life to.

Then...it all changed. Freddie saved me from the boring cycle. I remember his joyous words- his confessions of devotion; his unrestrained loyalty.

His voice sings to me every day, it's sounds so familiar yet strange at the same time. The rough timber of the song ricocheting through me like fierce bolts of lightning.

But, it's getting better. I'm able to hear longer conversations now, beautiful confessions and heartbreaking pleas. Mum, dad, Megan, Freddie. All of them.

At times, I long to wrap my weak arms around them; to tell them that I love them...but I can't. I'm trapped- paralysed by my own fatigue. I remember feeling this way when CFS first struck me but this time I can't even communicate my pain.

"-Shard stu-directly through his cornea- nothing we could d-fully blind- left eye"

It's a different voice now, slightly accented by a rich tone. A doctor?

But what does he mean?

Blind? The word is so harsh, so bitter.

Left eye. Said eye blares up in discomfort once again, and dreaded realisation strikes me.

I'm the one that's blind in one eye.

I want to grieve, tears pushing at the creases of my eyes- but my body refuses to let the liquid fall. Stiffness gnaws at my muscles and bones; I'm stuck in this position forevermore.

It hurts so much-

"I love you"

The words sound unbearably heartbroken yet undeniably clear. Each syllable is precise and striking. A cool drop of water spills onto my face from above, supported by muffled sniffing.

I want to respond but my body refuses, stifling my movement with a fatigue filled hand.

I love him but he'll never know.

"You hear me? Please say you hear me. I love you William Elijah Brookes!"

Sobs fill the air around me, hiccups and whimpers echoing in the room.

I love you too!

Please, I love you!

I try to fight the cage I'm locked in, pushing with all of my strength, but my hearing goes in and out of focus.

"-spond Will- some sign tha- I love yo- pleas-"

My heart rate increases tenfold; he doesn't seem to notice, painfully gripping onto my hand.

"-gotta go- back soon- love yo-"

My panic increases as I try desperately to respond- to give him a sign that I understand; that I hear him.

My eyes hurt, my feet ache; my body burns in pain.

I love you.

Please don't go!

His hand starts to leave mine, the movement hurting more than words can say-

My fingers twitch slightly against his.

"Will? Ca-hear me-wake?"

His voice sounds frantic now, as if he's desperately trying to convince himself that the movement actually happened.

I lOVE YOU

My eyes fling open and my vision is filled with a dizzy haze. Something is stuck down my throat, horribly intrusive and aching.

A breathing tube.

I start coughing, violent fits that leave my throat sore and bruised. The heart monitor picks up in pace; alarms start to blare.

I love you Freddie

He looks startled, eyes widened with fear; refusing to be dragged away by the man in white.

"-my boyfrien-please-need to be ther-he be okay?"

He's forced out of the room, pressing his hands painfully against the glass.

I love you

They force my body to slow down, to stop choking on the oxygen that has kept me alive throughout these weeks.

Finally, the tears are allowed to flow down my cheeks.

My ears pop and soon my brain catches up to what the doctor's saying.

"-doing so well love. We're just going to get this out of your throat now okay? Blink once for yes; twice for no"

I force my eyes shut in one rapid motion then pry them open once more.

"Good. On the count of three, okay? One. Two. Three."

My throat seizes up, clutching onto the tube in desperation-

"You need to relax, your boyfriend needs you relax and get better. He's been so worried about you; do this for him okay?"

I love him

I force my contracted muscles to go lax, a strained look staining my face.

I love him. Do this for Freddie.

The tube is removed after minutes of excruciating torment. I choke on a breath, calming down after a few hacking coughs.

My eye darts around the brightly lit room, half of my vision drowned in darkness. I suppose this is my world now.

"Freddie"

My voice croaks out, a dangerously sour sound.

He rushes to my side, pushing past the kind doctor that saved my life. She smiles, her short grey hair pinned back by a green cap. Freddie grasps onto my hand once more whilst she says-

"Be careful, his breathing is still very delicate."

He nods, gazing into my...good eye.

Tell him.

I try to build up the courage, focusing on his rugged features.

Tell him!

He kisses my forehead softly, resting his on mine for a while. His face is stained with tears, a picture of great happiness and woe.

"Freddie", I begin; a small smile sliding onto my face, "I love you"

He lets out a choked breath, fresh tears spilling from his chocolate brown eyes.

"I love you too"

[...]

Author's Note

Finally, after chapters of pain, a fluffy bunny has appeared! 💛

My cold seems to have cleared and I'm getting my braces off really soon. To be honest, I'm kinda gonna miss them lol, after having them on for a total of *drumroll please* three years.

I brought a cute pinafore today, it's red;white;red plaid and it's in a corduroy material :)) My pops says that I look like I'm from the 60s when I wear it with my hat. (The picture above is what it looks like on a model- it looks very different on me lol)

I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter- they finally exchanged 'I love you's! Unfortunately, we still have to address his blind eye and Freddie's family problems 😕

Would you like me to have a chapter/two of fluff then more angst OR just get the angst over with?

Hope you guys have a great night/day,

El x