Chapter 361: I Am Not A Monster
Defy The Alpha(s)
"Why canât you sleep with me?" Violet was on her feet now, walking toward him.
"No, please stop." Asher halted her as soon as she got close. "Donât come any closer."
Violet frowned. "I donât understand. Why donât you want to sleep with me?" She swallowed. "Is it my body? Is there something wrong with it? Something you donât like? Or donât you want me anymore?"
"Fuck. Shit. Itâs not you. Itâs me."
"What are you talking about?" Violet was concerned now. If it wasnât her, but him, then...?
Her eyes widened. "By chance, do you have performance problems?"
"What?"
Violetâs gaze raked down his body. "But that doesnât make sense. Youâre not little or something." Her face flushed. "And you donât have issues getting it up either. Or is it you canât release?"
Asher stood dumbfounded for a beat, then groaned. "No. Itâs not that."
He dragged his hands down his face, then looked at her with pain in his eyes. "You were in my head last time. Remember?"
Oh, she remembered. No child shouldâve had to witness that kind of abuse.
Violet only nodded.
Asher looked like he would rather drop dead than revisit that experience, but he forced himself to speak. "You recall that specific scene where Henry taught me a lesson about women?"
"Oh God." Violet felt her stomach twist. She already knew where this was going.
Asher looked at her like she was some sacred goddess. "From the first time I saw you, Violet, Iâve wanted you. Desired you. Iâve dreamed of this day. But then..."
Violet swallowed, bracing herself.
"Each time I look at you, that scene flashes before my eyes. I canât get it out. Itâs stuck there. He fucked my head up and now Iâm broken!" Asher screamed, slapping his hand against his skull in frustration.
"Asher, no!" Violet rushed to him, heart hammering as she grabbed his wrist before he could hurt himself. "Donât. Itâs not your fault! Youâre not broken."
Tears stung Violetâs eyes. "Donât destroy yourself over that monster. He doesnât deserve it. If youâre not ready, thatâs okay. Iâll wait."
"I am ready!" Asher snapped, stubborn. "I just donât want to hurt you. What if I turn out worse than him?"
Violet cupped his face in both hands, firm. "Listen to me, Asher. You are not Henry. And you never will be. Do you hear me?"
"But you know I have his darkness inside me. He raised me to be like him. A monster."
"Everyone has darkness inside of them, Asher. Thatâs what makes us human. But you get to choose what you do with it." She looked him dead in the eye. "Do you want to be a monster?"
Asher shook his head. "No."
"Good." Violet nodded, satisfied. "If youâre going to be any kind of monster, then let it be mine. My monster. My good monster."
"Thereâs no such thing as good monsters, Violet."
"There are," Violet purred, caressing his face. "Theyâre just not very vocal about it."
Her hand slid down his back, until she reached the towel tied at his waist. She felt him stiffen and let her hand linger.
"Do you trust me, Asher Nightshade?"
"I do," he murmured. "With my life."
"Good." Violet gave him a wicked smile. "Now hereâs what weâre going to do..."
She used her other hand to lightly trace his nipple, watching the shudder that rolled through him. "Henry got in your head? Weâre going to evict him. How? Iâm about to go down on you, Asher, and Iâm going to suck the hell out of you."
Her grin widened. "And while I do, all I need you to chant is, âIâm not a monster like my father.â Youâre not stopping until you believe it. If you even pause mid-way, Iâll bite your dick off. Got it?"
"Thatâs terrifying," Asher said, breathless but smiling. "Iâm in."
"Thatâs the Asher I know." Violet smiled sweetly, and at the same time, yanked the towel from his waist so fast he didnât even get the chance to react.
She said with authority. "We begin now."
Asher Nightshade braced himself as Violet sank to her knees, chanting âIâm not a monster like my father,â even as her hand wrapped around his cock, stroking him slowly
Goddess help him, that felt so good. Asher thought without missing a beat in his chant. He was a master of control and precision, traits his father had drilled into him from a young age. So yes, he trusted his ability to hold on and pull this off.
Even as his muscles contracted under her touch, Asher kept saying the words.
Then Violet said, "Look at me. I want you to look at me, Asher, while I take you. I want this moment burned into your memory, to replace that twisted one Henry left behind."
And he did look. But all Asher could see was hunger and raw desire burning in Violetâs eyes as she took his full length into her mouth.
Dear lord, have mercy.
His head lolled back, a shudder tearing through him as his chant slippedâ wobbly, yet still persistent.
Violet had a mouthful of Asher, and that was exactly the point. She wanted him to lose the iron grip he had on his control, to drown every doubt and fear in pleasure. That trauma would have no place in his life. Not tonight. Not with her.
Asher hit the back of her throat and Violet brought her hands up, gripping his firm ass as she sucked him diligently, her tongue swirling around him in intervals.
"Iâm not a monster likeâfuck, that feels good." Asherâs chant faltered, the pleasure breaking through his composure.
And that slip itself was a fail.
He felt a sharp pinch on his dick and yelped, a mix of pain and pleasure tearing through him. Damn, why did that feel like heaven?
"Youâre going to be the death of me, Violet," he groaned, voice rough.
Then came another bite, and Asher nearly lost it.
He laughed breathlessly through the haze of sensation. "Thatâs one hell of a punishment, baby girl."
Violet wanted to speak but ended up slurping along his length instead, the vibration rippling through him.
God. That was sexy as hell.
"Iâm not a monster like my father," Asher continued, this time firmer, the belief finally sinking in.
His hands tangled in Violetâs hair, his hips beginning to move as he guided himself deeper into her mouth. With each thrust, the weight of his trauma lifted a little more.
"God, Violet..." he groaned, voice raw, as if exorcising something dark from his soul.
Then it dawned on him. Oh fuck.
"Violet âno wait... " He was still saying but it was too late.
This time, when Violet bit him, it pushed him right over the edge. All that tension, all that control, finally broke. A growl rumbled from Asherâs chest as he released inside her mouth and Violet didnât spill a drop, swallowing it all.
Afterward, Violet pulled back slowly, catching her breath. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and worked her jaw with a playful wince.
Well, Nancy seems to be right about this part.