16 | mend contradictions

AVELINA SAT BY the waves of the ocean, letting the water hit her feet. She didn't know how long she was out there but she was aware of the moon that now took the place of the sun, giving morning to those who slept during the day.

She cried more times than she could count, and the fresh smell of the ocean would help calm her. It was like mother nature was hugging her after all the pain she's gone through.

She felt like a contradiction. She was full of hate, but she never felt love in her heart as much as she did at that very moment. There was so much peace surrounding her, but there was a storm brewing deep inside. Avelina was lost but as her hands rubbed her baby bump, she never felt more found.

"Avelina," Adrik called. Her head whipped around to see him. He had put on a shirt, and his ponytail was back in place.

"You did not come to dinner forty-six minutes ago," Adrik said once he stood beside her. She let him help her up, knowing that it was a bit of a struggle to do alone.

"Adrik..."

"Avelina..."

She paused. The moment she met his gray eyes, reflecting the light from the moon, every word left her mind. Her eyes took in his plump lips and furrowed brows. She didn't know what compelled her to lift her hand up and palm his check, but it was exactly what she did.

He leaned into her hand just before placing his palm on her cheek.

There were no words shed but every emotion could be felt. All the anger, frustration, loneliness, love, and hate poured out like magic through the palms of their hands.

Adrik wrapped his arms around her lower back and pulled her in for a hug. Her large belly hit his stomach before any other part of her could, but he didn't mind.

She hid her face in the crook of his neck and began to sob. All of her heartbreak seemed to flow out of her with each tear as he soothingly rubbed up and down her back.

"I don't want to do this anymore," she cried.

"I do not understand," Adrik stated.

"I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to be alone anymore. I... I need you, and I have been telling myself that I don't, but the truth is, I don't feel the same without you. I feel lost and empty. I hate that you left me, but I understand why. I just wish you would have fought harder. You're too smart to not have come up with another way. I wish you would've talked to me, and I wish you would have been there for me. I wish many things, but most of all, I wish to stop feeling this way, Adrik," she explained, tearily.

When she lifted her head, searching for some reaction from Adrik, he planted a kiss on her forehead. She shut her eyes to enjoy the tingly sensation that it left behind. At that moment, color rushed to fill her heart again which had gotten so used to the dullness of black and white. She was currently living in a memory that she knew she would last forever—a beautiful contradiction.

"I will never lose you again," he told her.

She hid her face into the crook of his neck again as a small smile danced on her lips.

At that moment, with Adrik's arms wrapped around her, there were no worries that existed. There were no bad guys, enemies, or obstacles. For the first time in a very long time, she allowed herself to feel safe right at home with the man she loved.

"You should eat. You have not eaten for six hours and twenty-two minutes," Adrik said, grabbing Avelina's hand.

She shook her head back and forth with a smile on her face as he led her back to the house. After he slid the back door open for her, he shut it once they got in. Together, they went straight to the dining room where a big feast was waiting for them.

"Oh?" she said, looking at all the food. A frown came across her face. If she had known he was going out of his way to make her a big dinner, she would have made sure she came back in time.

"I'm sorry. I had no clue," she said, voicing her thoughts.

"I would like you to eat more," Adrik confessed, handing a plate to Avelina. She nodded her head and began to make herself a large plate of food, sampling a bit of everything. There were all kinds of food from steak, to chicken, to seafood. It was an all-you-can-eat buffet right in their dining room.

He pulled out a seat for her to sit down. The moment she sat the plate down in front of her, she began to dive in. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until the heavenly aroma of every delectable food item was right in front of her.

"Gosh!" she moaned. "This is so good!"

She was never the type to moan when eating, but pregnancy had a whole different effect on her. She found herself moaning almost every time she ate. To her, eating was better than having sex

"Did you cook all this?" she asked, her mouth full of food.

"Yes," he answered. Other than Avelina savagely stuffing down food, silence overtook the house.

"I will prepare a warm bath for you," he told her. Before he left, he leaned down and planted a kiss on her cheek.

She wasn't sure when he became so affectionate, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it

His footsteps could be heard as he made his way upstairs and to the bathroom. She realized she hadn't been upstairs yet, and a large part of her was excited to see what was in store. However, it would all have to wait because her food was her biggest priority at the moment.

Not too long after, she finished eating. She got up and put her plate in the sink. As she sat her plate down and rinsed it off, she noticed a photograph perched up on the counter in a little frame. It was a picture of a younger Adrik and the girl she learned was Natasha. Natasha was on his back, ruffling his hair, and Adrik had a big smile on his face.

Avelina didn't understand what it was like to have a sibling. Sure, she had Vincent, but he didn't really count. She knew he was family and for that, she felt a connection with him that couldn't be replicated, but at the same time, she couldn't stand him—another contradiction. It was like in his wrath to protect her, he was losing her. If only they shared moments like Adrik and Natasha, maybe things would be different; things would be more understandable and easier.

She turned off the water and dried her hands with a cloth. Then, she turned away and headed for the stairs.

She hated going up and down stairs, the thought of falling always triggered her anxiety. Never in her life did she pay so much attention to every step until she was pregnant.

As she made it to the top step, she took a break to catch her breath just before following the sound of a bath running.

She walked through a doorway and into a really spacious room as the sound of running water grew. The room was dim and there was a fire brewing in the fireplace. The bed was bigger than anything Avelina had ever seen before. It held the same peaceful aroma as the ocean and there was even a large window to showcase the view of the sea. It was beautiful.

She kept following the sound until she was in the adjoined restroom where Adrik could be seen turning the water off.

"Hey," she muttered.

He looked over before walking to her where he grasped her hand and led her deeper into the restroom. Even the bathroom was spacious. With flooring to match the bottom portion of the house, and an advanced shower in the corner of the restroom, she loved it. There were two sinks on either side of the bathroom with closets beside each. There was even a large bathtub in the middle of the restroom; it looked more like a pool than anything.

"Do I have your permission to remove your clothing?" Adrik asked.

Avelina hesitated to nod her head, allowing him to hook his fingers on the bottom of her large shirt before dragging it up. Her nursery bra was easy to remove as he slid it up her body. She had to lift her arms for it to come off completely. She watched him push her shorts and panties down until they pooled at her feet, leaving her to step out of them.

She walked over to the bathtub, and with his assistance, got in. Immediately, the warm water began to coax her muscles into a deep relaxation. It was so therapeutic to just lean back and shut her eyes.

He got beside her and began to wash her, letting her do nothing but rest and relax, and she loved every minute of it.

—

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