Chapter 355 The Distance that Existed Between Them

They sat down along the rocks. They were quiet, the creek beside them filling the silence.

“This is… awkward,” Axel commented.

“Yea…” Ashleigh smiled. “I'm not really sure how to start this conversation.”

“Just say whatever you want to say, Ash,” Axel sighed.

Ashleigh heard it in his voice, the weariness, the pain. She swallowed down the lump in her throat.

“Do you dream of her?”

.ᴄOᴍ “Most nights,” Axel replied after a moment.

“Do you talk? In your dreams, I mean. Do you have conversations?”

Axel shook his head.

“Mostly, I just remember the time we've had together,” Axel sighed. “Or, I have nightmares about what she might be experiencing.”

The last Axel said with concern, and then he looked away. Ashleigh furrowed her brow.

“You mean what she might be doing to people?” she asked.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“No,” he said. “What people might be doing to her.”

Ashleigh sighed.

“Axel,” she said softly. “I'm trying… it's just difficult for me to understand.”.

“What is?”

“She's done so many bad things.”

Axel sighed.

“Have you never done anything bad?” he asked.

“Of course, I have, but it's not the same thing,” Ashleigh sighed.

“No, it's not,” Axel said. “Because the bad things you did were your choice.”

Ashleigh took a deep breath.

“How do you know the things she told you are real?” she asked. “How do you know that she didn't just say she was treated, that she's still being treated.”

“How did you know that Caleb wouldn't hate Dad? That he wouldn't try and take vengeance for what happened to his father?”

“Because I know him.”

“I know her.”

“How?” Ashleigh sighed. “You knew her for like a day! How can you possibly say that you know her after such a short amount of time?”

“Ash,” Axel took a deep breath. “You knew Caleb a few months, and you knew Granger for two years. Is time really the most important factor in knowing someone?”

“That's low,” Ashleigh growled, moving away from him.

“I'm not judging you about Granger,” Axel growled back. “None of us knew him the way we thought we did.”

“And I am trying to make sure that you don't repeat my mistake!” Ashleigh snarled.

“It's not the same, Ash,” Axel replied.

“You don't know that.”

“Please!” Axel sighed angrily. “Please, just let it go.”

He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I don't have it in me to argue with you anymore. Not today,” he said quietly.

His voice cracked; his shoulders sagged forward.

Axel took a deep breath, but he didn't move. Ashleigh watched him, waiting for him to sit up and yell at her or tell her that she was being ridiculous. Anything.

But that didn't happen. Instead, Axel remained in that same position, slouched over and defeated.

Ashleigh was worried. She had never seen him like this before.

“Axel,” she called to him. “What's wrong? This isn't about me not accepting her. What's going on with you?”

He sniffled and then sat up. Finally, he stood, looking away from her.

“Don't worry about it,” he said softly as he moved away from her.

“Axel, I am worried!” she called after him. “Please, talk to me.”

“I can't,” he said.

Ashleigh felt the knot in her stomach. Why had she never realized the distance that existed between them?

Axel saw the hurt in her eyes, and as much as he wanted to just turn and leave. To go home and be alone with his thoughts. He hated to see that look.

“I miss her,” he said softly. “I just miss her.”

Ashleigh looked up at his eyes. Filled with tears.

“We only had a couple of days, but those days were the best of my life, Ash.”

He sniffled and pursed his lips.

“With her, I felt whole. Like I could say anything or nothing, either way, she would always understand me.”

Ashleigh felt the tear hit her hand before she realized she was crying with him.

“When she told me she was leaving, it broke my heart, but I didn't try to stop her. She didn't tell me what she was doing, but we both knew it was coming.”

Ashleigh sniffled and crossed her arms.

“Do you blame me?” she asked quietly.

“No,” Axel shook his head. “Never.”

He moved forward and pulled her into a hug.

“Alice made her choice because it was the right thing to do. You had nothing to do with that,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “I blame Granger and Holden.”

“Holden?” Ashleigh asked, pulling back to look at her brother.

Axel sighed.

“If you are really willing to listen, I will tell you everything. But not today,” he said. “I can't today.”

“Axel,” Ashleigh said. “This is more than just missing her.”

Axel closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Yea… it is.”

Axel took a moment to compose himself, and then he guided Ashleigh back to sit together on the rocks.

“What you said… about Alice and Roman….”

Ashleigh furrowed her brows.

“What?” she asked. “What are you talking about?”

Axel looked at her.

“You said they were carrying on a relationship, that I was being fooled,” he replied, looking away.

Ashleigh wanted to protest, but then she remembered how she had said things she didn't mean, that she didn't even think.

“Oh Goddess…” she sighed with embarrassment. “I'm so sorry, Axel… I didn't mean that. I didn't know what I was saying at that time.”

“Maybe not,” he said. “But I think there is some truth to it.”

“What?”

“Not about Alice,” he clarified. “From her message, she is just as disturbed by Roman as the rest of us.”

“Then what do you mean?” Ashleigh asked.

Axel licked his lips; he reached his hand back to the tender flesh where the braid had been torn away from him.

“I used to have a braid, right here,” he said. “The day that Alice and I said goodbye, we gave each other a lock of our hair. I braided hers into mine, so I would always have her with me.”

Ashleigh smiled.

“I have to admit, that's really sweet.”

Axel gave a sad smile.

“It's gone now,” he said. “Torn by the root by Roman.”

Ashleigh's eyes widened in disgust and confusion.

“He caught her scent, and it angered him even more than he already was,” Axel continued. “I think Roman has feelings for Alice.”

Axel paused, he took a breath, and looked away.

“So, even though Bell is safe here in Winter, with all of us,” he continued.

Ashleigh swallowed as she understood his concerns.

“Alice is all alone with that monster.”