Chapter 357 The Selfish Choice

“Well… wow.”

“Yep.”

“That’s…. wow.”

Ashleigh nodded.

“That is a lot of information all at once,” Axel said. He leaned back to rest on his palms as he looked at the sky.

“Sorry,” Ashleigh whispered.

They were both quiet as Axel tried to process all the things she had told him.

“Ok… so Luna Lily is our great plus, plus Grandmother, on dad’s side,” Axel asked.

“Yes.”

“And as her direct descendants, we both have some level of access to her power?”

“I think so, but that part was a little confusing,” Ashleigh replied. “You have some of her power. But most of yours comes from your oath and bond to the Goddess as Alpha of Winter.

“Though she did say that you accepted the power at the same time that you accepted your mate, which is also how I found out you had a mate.”

“Oh, ok, so, Great Grandma Lily is a gossip too. Got it,” Axel replied with a smile.

She knew that smile.

He had worn it for Bell many times as he tried to lighten the mood and help her relax during a difficult moment or topic.

Axel hadn’t had time to process everything she had just told him, but even so, he was calm enough to think to try and make her feel better.

She was learning more and more about just how different they were. It made her curious. She was so unsure about the how and why of it all, but maybe, it was different for him.

“Do you know how you did it?” Ashleigh asked.

“Did what?” Axel replied.

“Accepted your power.”

“Hmm,” Axel thought about it.

He knew things were different after he and Alice had found one another. Once they had placed their marks on each other, he felt as though he had suddenly become whole. He had just assumed it was that part of him that had always longed for Alice without realizing it.

But after what Ashleigh had shared, he wondered if it might have also been an acceptance of power.

His drive to complete their bond was deeply connected to his desire to protect her, to offer her a light to search for in the darkness.

.ᴄOᴍ He already knew or at least suspected that she would leave him again, but he hoped the connection binding them together would help lead her back.

He was, without a doubt, stronger after their commitment was made. Even Corrine and Wyatt had realized it.

So, what was it? What was his actual acceptance of the power that lived inside of him?

“Acceptance…” he smiled.

Ashleigh furrowed her brows.

“I think, maybe,” he said, “it was sort of me, accepting me.”

“I don’t understand….”

Axel sat up and turned to face Ashleigh. He wondered if she would want to listen to this or if she would shut him down the second he mentioned Alice.

Either way, she asked.

“When I found Alice again, I made a decision,” he said. “I told myself that I just wanted to make sure she was safe.

“That I wanted her to feel connected to me whenever we were inevitably separated again.”

He smiled sadly as he remembered their final moments together before they said goodbye. His hand instinctively went to the braid, only to be reminded of its absence.

Axel clenched his jaw and then took a deep, cleansing breath.

“But,” he continued. “Thinking about it now, I realize that I decided to mark Alice…. because I didn’t want to lose her.”

He smiled.

“It was a completely selfish desire. I held back only because I wanted to make sure that it was what she wanted, not another role she was forced to play.

“But as soon as I knew that…. It didn’t matter what our traditions said or whether we would be split up again. All that mattered was that I wanted to be with her.

“I chose to fulfill my selfish desire, even knowing how the rest of my family would react.”

Axel smiled to himself.

He had spent so many years doing everything that was asked of him. He had always followed the expectations of his family and his pack. Not once had Axel ever asked for anything for himself, and he had never felt cheated, just empty.

But finding Alice had changed everything for him. She existed in the one selfish corner of his heart.

He knew she was the one part of his life he could never willingly give up. That was what he had realized the night he had marked her.

“I put myself first, Ash,” Axel said, with pride that meant something important to him. “I chose to do something I knew no one else would agree with or understand. Because not choosing that moment

would have killed me in the end.”

“That seems a bit dramatic,” Ashleigh said, looking away. “You had only known her a day, I know. Of course, time isn’t the most important factor in knowing someone… but you’re saying not marking

her the first day you were together would have killed you. That’s ridiculous.”

“You still don’t get it. We’ve known each other for years. Both of us have felt it. The deep empty hole in our hearts because we were forced to forget.”

Axel turned away from her and then took a deep breath.

“Nevermind,” he sighed. “That wasn’t what I meant anyway.”

“Then what did you mean?” she asked, feeling a pang of guilt.

“My whole life has been decided for me, my role, my interests, my future. Even Alice was chosen for me.”

Axel let out a gentle laugh.

“Accepting her, loving her…. That was my choice. The ‘right’ choice for the pack and our family would have been the one that both you and mom tried to force me to make. To reject her. I knew it then. I know it now.”

He took a deep breath.

“But,” he continued. “It was MY choice. Alice is my choice. What is best for me, what makes me happy. What I accepted the night I marked her, was that I was allowed to make the selfish choice.”