Chapter 466 I Know The Cost

“No, no. That wasn't my intention at all,” Peter defended himself immediately.

“But that's what you did,” Alice replied coldly. “You didn't ask. You didn't listen. You took what you wanted, and you ignored his wishes.”

“I stopped!”

“And how many times did he have to ask you to!” Alice growled.

Peter clenched his jaw and looked away.

“Too many,” he whispered.

“At least you know that,” she replied quietly.

Bell sat silently, taking a shaky breath.

Alice took a deep breath, slowly blowing it out to calm her anger.

“I'm sorry,” Peter whispered.

“Not to me.” Alice smiled.

“I know,” he said.

Alice sighed, pushing away the fire in her frustration.

“You are a good man, Peter. You just did a stupid thing out of anger,” she said.

“That doesn't make it all right,” he replied.

“Of course not,” Alice said. “But maybe it will help you understand. Because Myka is a good man too, and he did a stupid thing out of fear.”

Peter looked up at her with furrowed brows.

Alice shook her head.

“It is not my story to tell,” she replied. “But the way I see it, you owe each other at least an honest conversation. About both the past and the present.”

Peter nodded.

“You're right,” he sighed. “Honestly, I never asked him to explain his reasoning. I just sort of shut down when he told me that committing to me was the end of his journey.”

“To be fair,” Bell interjected, “I can't imagine anyone would take something like that with a lot of grace.”

Peter chuckled.

“I guess not,” Peter said. He looked up at Alice. “No matter what happened between us five years ago, what I did yesterday was wrong. I will apologize to him, I promise.”

“Good,” Alice smiled. “Let's go.”

“What? Now?” Peter asked with surprise and just a hint of panic in his eyes.

Alice got up from her chair and nodded.

“From what I have learned about you, taking a day off is rare. So, if I don't make you go now, you will likely work through the remainder of his time here.”

“She has a point,” Bell chimed in.

“Whose side are you on?” Peter replied.

“The side that gets you what you really want.” Bell smiled. Peter lowered his eyes. “I may not know Myka or what exactly is keeping you both from embracing your bond. But I can see that you care about him, Peter.”

“There is more to life than romance.” Peter sighed.

“True, but that doesn't mean you need to cut yourself off from it either,” Bell said with a gentle grin.

***

Peter and Alice took a car and headed South.

“You know you really shouldn't be driving,” Peter said.

“Bell said I was fine for a short trip.”

“Bell's not the one in the car,” he replied quietly.

“Don't worry, Dr. Petey. I won't let you die before you and Myka resolve the issues between you.”

“How kind of you,” Peter sighed with annoyance. “Could you please stop calling me ‘Petey'? You know I don't like it.”

Alice smiled.

“I'll stop if you tell me the real reason you don't like it,” she said.

Peter took a deep breath and closed his eyes, laying his head back against the headrest of his chair.

From the darkness of his memory, a pair of cold green eyes stared lifelessly at him. He opened his eyes and shook the image away.

“It reminds me of something I don't enjoy remembering,” he said gently.

“Ok,” Alice replied simply.

“Ok?” he questioned. “Just like that?”

Alice nodded.

“I asked you for days to stop, and you wouldn't!”

“You never told me the reason before, just that you preferred ‘Peter'.”

“I didn't tell you anything specific just now,” Peter replied with slight curiosity.

“No, but what you did say was enough,” Alice replied. “I don't want to encourage the ghosts that haunt you.”

Peter didn't know exactly what she meant or what she knew. But he was all too happy to let the subject fall.

The nomads had several small encampments, a few within Winter and several just outside the border. But Myka had his own campsite at least three miles away from the nearest wolf.

“Shouldn't he be closer to the others?” Peter asked. “So they can discuss the treaty and make a decision?”

“That would be the smart and logical thing to do,” she replied. “But Myka is one of the more extreme nomads. If he can avoid it, he will never share a camp with others.”

Peter furrowed his brow.

“Why not?”

“He doesn't trust anyone,” she replied.

Peter looked at her.

“When did that start?” he asked.

Alice took a deep breath and smiled.

“Suspicion and mistrust are the birthrights of every Spring wolf.”

Peter swallowed.

“He was a Spring wolf?”

Alice nodded.

“He never told me that,” Peter whispered.

Alice let out a gentle scoff.

“It doesn't seem like the two of you actually spent much time getting to know each other in those three weeks you shared.”

Peter clenched his jaw.

“He's the one that closed himself off from me,” he growled.

“And did you tell him where you came from?” she asked.

Peter's eyes widened, and he looked at her with surprise.

“I know a little bit about a lot of things,” Alice replied to his unasked question. “I haven't shared it, and I won't. But you should. Just like he should share with you.”

Peter turned away.

“You probably have more secrets than anyone in Winter,” he sighed. “Do you really think you have room to judge?”

Alice laughed.

“You're right, I do.” She nodded and then turned to look at him. “But not from Axel. You two had three weeks, but Axel and I had less than three days.”

Peter swallowed.

“In those three days, we held nothing back from each other. The good, bad, and worse,” Alice continued. “So many people believe every word from my mouth is a lie. And for most of my life, that was the truest thing about me. But I know the cost of those lies.”

Alice paused, swallowed, and looked out the window into the distance.

“He is not a price I am willing to pay. Axel is the only person I trust with all my secrets.”

Peter didn't know what to say, so he said nothing.

The rest of the drive was quiet between them, but inside Peter's mind, the ghosts were restless.