Chapter 683 Once You Can Understand



Axel took a deep breath and lowered his head.

“I just… I don’t want her to feel any more burdened than she already does,” he sighed. “She is so… lost. I’m afraid of what she might do.”

Corrine sighed and laid her head back. She was tired. Though she had a different approach to handling Ashleigh, she, too, was worried about her.

“Ashleigh has never willingly been rescued,” she said. “Trying to save her will only lead to being dragged down with her. She must find her way out of the problem, or she’ll stay lost forever.”

“I don’t know how to ignore her pain,” he said.

“I didn’t say ignore it, just don’t try to solve it for her,” Corrine said.

Axel sighed. He leaned his head back into his chair and closed his eyes.

“It’s not your first time dealing with her, Axel. You know how, but right now, you pity her too much to realize it. And she knows that.”

He thought of the few conversations he had had with Ashleigh since the war ended. Every one of them had been an argument. She had not come to him until she needed something, and he had not gone to her, knowing she didn’t want him to.

He had kept tabs on her, hearing from different sources about her days and nights spent at the mountainside trying to find a way back to the ley line. About all the hours she spent in the library searching through every history book for anything that might even hint at a possible solution.

Axel did know how to deal with Ashleigh. He had learned long ago that the only way to get her to move past her tantrums was to challenge her. To refuse to give in to her whims.

He had done that when he refused to hold off on his plans to unite the packs, but that had been easy. He couldn’t put her needs before all the wolves in the territories.

But after he saw her day after day struggling to move forward. After, he stood outside her home and listened to her sobbing from another day without answers. And after seeing the pained and resentful look in her eyes when she saw him with Alice, or when she heard about Bell moving to Summer, he couldn’t bear to hurt her anymore.

He wanted to help her.

The mission to Moonguard had sounded like too much of a risk from the start, but against his better judgment, he agreed to at least send the scout to check. After he received the report, there had been a hint of doubt, but he knew how much she wanted to go.

Axel sighed.

It was difficult and tiring to balance his desire to protect her and what she needed from him.

He took another deep breath. He was exhausted. He hadn’t had a good night’s rest since Alice had left. His days were filled with work to avoid his worries for his sister or his longing for his mate.

Corrine stood up from her chair.

“Go talk to Alice. She is the one you should be worried about. Pregnancy is difficult enough, but twins and conflict with your mate on top of that?” she said with a click of her tongue and an irritated glance. “I should smack you silly.”

Axel gave a gentle smile.

“I wouldn’t stop you,” he said.

“I know,” Corrine said, returning his smile.

She leaned forward over the desk and touched his cheek.

“Try not to be so hard on yourself,” she said. “None of it is your fault. So let it go and move forward.”

Corrine stepped away, turning to leave.

“Do you really blame her?” he asked before she reached the door. “Do you really hold Ashleigh responsible for what happened in Moonguard?”

Corrine paused and thought for a moment before answering.

“She is responsible for what happened in Moonguard,” she said. She looked back at Axel and added. “But no, I don’t blame her.”

Axel furrowed his brow.

“Aren’t they the same?” he asked.

Corrine smiled.

“Ashleigh’s decisions directly led to the event. In that way, she is responsible for what happened. But,” she said. “I can understand how she could have gotten to a place where she felt like she had to do it. Where she could justify it to herself.”

Axel heard the sadness in Corrine’s voice.

“Once you can understand how someone can make a bad decision, it becomes increasingly difficult to blame them for it or to hold on to the anger from it,” she continued. “I suspect that Alice is struggling with something similar.”

Axel sat up.

“You think she is having a hard time because she understands what Ashleigh did?” he asked.

Corrine shook her head.

“No,” she smiled. “Alice has actually always understood Ashleigh better than most.”

Axel thought back to when Alice had been the one to defend his sister. It was true. She was able to make him see Ashleigh clearer many times. Though she always claimed to dislike Ashleigh, he knew she held a begrudging affection for her.

“I meant with you,” Corrine said. “I would guess that she is struggling with your decisions. The two of you have always shared such a strong trust in each other. She has never had a reason to question or doubt what you say or do.”

Axel swallowed, remembering Alice’s words.

‘But, hearing you make excuses for Ashleigh, as her decisions hurt members of my family…. It’s the first time I have felt disappointed in you. It’s my first time questioning whether I could rely on you.’

He let out a shaky breath.

“Becoming a mother can change the way you see things. What you can accept and what you can ignore,” Corrine continued. “What you really need from the person you love.”

Axel felt a hard knot in his stomach.

‘... Will there be any of you left for me and our children?’

Is that what Alice had meant?