Chapter 97 No Longer Angry

Ashleigh took deep breaths, but it didn’t matter, her chest was too heavy, and she didn’t have the strength to lift it. Her tiny fist hit her chest, desperate to make it work properly. Her throat, shoulders, every part of her ached.

She slumped down, dropping her elbows to the soft snow below her. Her shoulders heaved with desperate sobs.

Everything felt wrong.

The sound of footsteps drew her attention. She looked up; Granger stared down at her from five feet away. Then, he took another step towards her.

“No.”

Her voice shook, but there was strength in it. Granger stopped.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“Stay away,” she said.

“Ash, I–“

“No!” she shouted.

His eyes widened in surprise.

Reaching back to the tree behind her, she pulled herself up to stand. Granger remained still, never taking his eyes off her.

“Please, Ash,” he whispered.

She didn’t look at him. Instead, her chest heaved with heavy breaths, jaw clenched. The tears continued to fall. No matter how desperately she begged herself to stop crying, they just kept coming.

“You went too far,” she said..

“I know…” he replied. “But I ju–“

“You went too far!” Ashleigh screamed with fresh tears. She looked at him now. Her eyes were red and glassy, filled with the rage of a shattered heart.

He looked away, unable to face her.

“You hurt me, Granger,” her voice was quiet again. She looked down at her wrists. “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” Granger whispered, fighting tears of his own.

Ashleigh took a deep breath and swallowed down her fear.

“It’s not enough this time.”

He looked up at her, panic rushing over him.

“Ash!” he shouted. “You can’t!”

Granger took a step towards her, extending his hand.

Ashleigh moved away.

“Don’t come near me,” she growled.

The memory of her fear, her absolute inability to fight him off, came rushing over her. Again, panic and shame attacked her, demanding her submission. But this time, anger and resentment took root in her heart. She wouldn’t let it happen again.

“If you try to touch me…” she said through gritted teeth, “I won’t let you.”

Granger swallowed. He wanted to shout, scream, grab her and make her understand.

“I won’t touch you,” he said, “but we need to talk.”

“I can’t, not right now.”

“Ash, baby, you know I never wanted to hurt you,” he said, “I would never–“

“But you did,” she interrupted. “You did. And if Caleb hadn’t come….”

Granger turned away and growled at the mention of his name.

“None of this would have ever happened if it wasn’t for him!” he shouted angrily.

Ashleigh furrowed her brow furiously as she looked at him in disbelief.

“Caleb didn’t do this,” she stated. Granger looked up at her. “You did! You and this stupid jealousy!”

“Stupid?” Granger asked. He laughed. Granger kicked at the ground in his frustration. “It’s not in my head, Ash! Do you think I don’t see the way he looks at you? The way you look at him. How am I supposed to just ignore that and pretend like nothing is going on?!”

“Because I chose you!” she shouted angrily. “I told you repeatedly that you were my mate and the only one I wanted! Nothing is going on! I have never given you a reason to doubt me!”

Granger clenched his jaw, nostrils flaring. He wanted to argue with her. To make her see that Caleb was the problem, not him.

“Why can’t you see how hard I am fighting for us?” she asked. Her voice shook with the strain of her emotions. “I have tried so hard to make sure you know I’m with you. I have done everything I can to show you that. So why don’t you see that? Any of it?”

“Ash…” Granger turned to her.

“I didn’t ask for this,” she said, shaking her head, tears falling from her eyes. “I didn’t want this.”

“I know Ash….”

“I was happy!” she cried out. “I was so happy, Goddess, all I wanted was to be your wife!”

“That’s all I want to–“

“You didn’t trust me, Granger,” she stated simply. Her tone was no longer angry but sad.

Granger felt his breath hitch; he felt the sadness, the pain in her heart rushing over him like a wave, pulling him into the depths.

“And now…” she said quietly, turning away from him, “I don’t trust you.”

He was left drowning in her sorrow.

***

Ashleigh took a long way home, trying to avoid seeing anyone. Granger had not followed her, and she was thankful.

When she opened the door to her house, she knew right away that someone was home. She did her best to close the door quietly to avoid detection, but it was too late.

“Ashleigh?” Corrine called from the kitchen. “Is that you?”

“Yea, it’s me,” Ashleigh sighed, hurrying to the stairs. “I’m going straight up to shower. I might lay down. If anyone stops by, just let them know I’m not really feeling social, ok?”

“Oh? Did you work yourself too hard in training today?” Corrine asked, popping her head out of the kitchen.

Ashleigh quickly turned to hide her wrists behind her back.

“Yea,” she smiled, looking away towards the living area.

Corrine looked carefully at her daughter.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

Ashleigh nodded her head.

“Yea, I’m ok. Just tired.”

“Are you sure?” Corrine asked as she took a step towards Ashleigh.

Ashleigh quickly moved up a few stairs.

“Yea, like I said, I’m just tired,” she said quickly, continuing up the stairs as she spoke. “I’m good, Mother, just don’t let anyone up, ok? Please.”

“Ok,” Corrine answered, not believing her but willing to give her time. “I am stepping out for a little while, but I will be back soon.”

“Ok!” Ashleigh called from the top of the stairs.

She didn’t move again until she heard the front door opening and closing. A deep sigh of relief fled from her lungs. Ashleigh made her way into the bathroom. She turned on the shower’s hot water. Closing the lid first, she sat down on the toilet. Then, letting her head rest in her hands, she cried.

The tears flowed until Ashleigh was sure none were left in her entire body, and the bathroom had fogged up.

Feeling exhausted, she picked herself up and began to remove her clothing. As she pulled off her shirt, she caught a reflection in the corner of her eye.

Ashleigh rubbed the condensation off the mirror to see clearly. Angry red bruises were scattered across the top of her chest. Touching them gently with her fingertips. She tried her hardest to swallow down the surge of shame that fell over her, but in the end, she frantically lifted the lid of the toilet and emptied her stomach into the bowl.

Once her stomach had settled, she got into the hot shower. She stayed under the scalding water until it ran cold. Hoping to burn away the feeling, but it never stopped.

Ashleigh glanced at the mirror as she stepped out of the shower. Her skin was bright red from the heat of the water. Yet, the marks Granger had left on her still stared angrily at her. She turned away.

She toweled herself off, drying her legs and body first, before gently brushing her chest with the towel. She winced at the minor spasms of pain as the sensitive skin reacted to the towel’s fabric pressing against it.

Ashleigh pulled out one of the white terry cloth robes her mother kept stocked inside the linen closet. She covered herself and threw the towel and her clothes into the hamper. Then, double-checking in the mirror that none of the marks could be seen, just in case her mother was in the hallway, she left the bathroom and headed for her room.

Ashleigh was so relieved to make it to her room without running into her mother that she almost didn’t notice it. The feeling at the back of her neck, the way her breathing seemed to even out, the rhythmic heartbeat.

“Caleb?” she whispered, looking towards the dark corner of her room.

He stepped forward out of the shadows.

“We need to talk.”