The Nothing

Nikolai.

The wolf who took my virginity. The wolf who didn’t care that I was human. The first person who hadn’t judged me on being a winter born. Who had liked it.

He showed me what it meant to be completely enraptured by someone in every way. I was always safe with him. The rules didn’t matter when we were together, the fact that we were different didn’t.

He saw what he wanted and he went for it; that obsession with everything I was meant everything to me. And I was obsessed with him too.

Braxton.

The werewolf who was cursed like me, to live with shadows. The one who understood what that meant.

He was the wolf I needed when I couldn’t keep control; when I was overwhelmed with everything I was, he kept me grounded, safe.

He was who I needed when I felt like I was going to give in to the darkness. He was the light inside me when I couldn’t see. The connection I had with him was already so deep, and I needed it to survive.

Derik.

The werewolf with the brooding intensity, the one with the walls up, the responsibility of the world on his shoulders, but the one who let me see behind that mask when we were together.

I’m the one that got to see the other side to him, the soft, caring, devoted side. He always followed the rules, thought about the consequences, but he couldn’t help himself with me, and that drew me in so intensely I couldn’t breathe sometimes.

But I didn’t want to. His affection for me was unrivaled, and I depended on that now.

My wolves. My alphas.

Pain, the physical, searing ache, ground my bones into dust, making me feel like death was only seconds away.

It boiled the blood in my veins, but that pain was nothing. Nothing compared to them. My three soulmates that had every part of me safe in their hands and hearts, and they are burrowed safely in mine.

To think that I could fail, that I could fail them and everything we had been through, was so much worse. That pain I wouldn’t survive, so I endured it. I cried and screamed because I was human, but I knew I could get past it.

I was not weak. I was winter born.

I took a few deep breaths, wincing as it crackled in my chest, my mind a flurry of blurs and wispy white light that felt electric, sparking against every nerve.

Pretty sure if I had brain cells in there before, they were dead. Like I figured I would be soon.

But that would kill them. I knew it would. I felt their pain as readily as my own.

I couldn’t open my eyes, it hurt too much, but I could hear them. Going through the same torment as I was. So much pain.

They grunted, howled, and swore as it seared their souls with the same brand as mine—and they were doing it for me. I had to hold on to that. I had to keep going because they were.

If they could get there for me, then I had to be just as strong.

I lay on the wooden floors that smelled of patchouli and focused on the sound of them. Their pain hurt me, but it also kept me grounded, kept me from giving up, knowing we were experiencing the torment together.

I took even breaths, held my stomach as it flipped and turned, my heart burning, on fire like a volcano had erupted in my chest, the lava slowly filling every organ in my body, burning me alive.

But I held on.

And eventually, slowly, painstakingly slow, the pain started lessening, the lava turning to ash, a smoky scraping in my veins taking over until it was an irritating sunburn on my skin.

Then it changed. The pain turned to something…different.

I gasped, my stomach exploding in flutters like thousands of butterflies sending light everywhere.

A warm glow that was surprisingly soothing after being burned alive filled me, and I released a sigh of relief, uncurling, slowly opening my eyes.

A wet stroke hit my cheek, and it felt like that tongue had just stroked my clit. I sucked in a breath and turned to see Brax over me, licking me.

I chuckled breathily and moved into him, desperate for his touch.

Seeing him felt different, which I had been expecting, but this was even weirder. It hit my stomach so much stronger, like being sucker punched but with a finger inside the pussy.

I grabbed him, bringing him over me, kissing him, my mouth covering his. He groaned as his tongue found mine, sliding along it, lowering us to the ground, where I wrapped my legs around him.

Brax moved his hands down my body that tingled everywhere he touched it, like igniting little firecrackers under my skin.

I moaned as they went off, and he kissed down my neck, tearing off my dress, through the layers like he was possessed.

~I~ felt possessed, like he had hijacked the central nervous system in my body and was rewiring it to him and the alphas. Maybe that’s what was happening, but it felt so good I didn’t care.

I kissed him until my lips were swollen and my breaths were hard to take. Then Kai was yanking me toward him, shoving Brax off me and claiming my mouth as his.

I clutched him, my body responding to him just as viscerally. Brax kissed up my legs as I lay on Kai, being overwhelmed in sensation, drowning in the presence of them.

And then Derik was there, peeling off my torn layers of clothing, kissing up my stomach, rolling his tongue around my navel, my skin raising as I shuddered. It was so rough and warm, it had me sighing into Kai’s kiss.

I wasn’t sure when the alphas had shed their clothing, but they were naked, and it didn’t take long before I was too.

“I’m going to head out and let the pack know the link was successful. Have fun, guys,” Cain’s voice said from a distance, but it was breathy and tight.

I broke away from Kai’s mouth, peering over his shoulder as Cain went to leave. He had slashes over his chest, blood dripping from a cut in his brow, his lip.

He had a drained look in his eyes, his cheek was bruised, and his knuckles were bleeding too.

“What happened?” I breathed, and Cain shrugged, looking around the house.

“Werewolves don’t handle pain well either.”

I raised a brow, then looked around, my eyes widening as I took in what was left of Tabitha’s home.

It was destroyed. No more altar. No more cozy place. It was all claw rips, broken ornaments, shattered knickknacks, and torn books.

The rug was ripped to shreds, the sofa was clawed, the door scratched. I looked at my alphas with my wide eyes, then back at the mess they had made.

“I didn’t hear this happening.”

“It was expected, but you are not hurt, and that was the only protection detail I had. So since I’ve somehow managed to do that, I am going to go find a female to fuck and regain some of my magic I just burned through. Have a nice night,” Cain breathed, then disappeared.

I blinked after him. The wolves had been trying to hurt me? I frowned, then turned to them. They were all breathing hard, with beady eyes.

“If Cain hadn’t been here…”

“We wouldn’t have hurt you,” Derik snapped.

I looked around the room and hoped that was true because my skin tore easier than most of the things they had destroyed.

Kai kissed my shoulder from where I sat next to him, then up my face, and then his fingers dragged up my naked thighs and I licked my lips, the touch so damn potent.

“I passed my test within seconds, Little Human. I ragdolled them a little trying to keep them from shifting near you or accidentally using you as a target for the rage their pain put them in, but with Cain’s magic, we got there.”

“It was that strong for you?” I asked, looking between Derik and Brax.

Both of them nodded.

“My shadows were hard to keep at bay, especially with Cain in the room,” Brax explained.

“I lost control,” Derik admitted quietly, that self-hatred burning inside him, but I felt it in my own heart and moved closer, kissing him softly, the touch of our lips igniting something stronger inside.

I deepened the kiss, pressing against him, running my fingers through his short hair.

“But you passed,” I whispered, then kissed him again.

Kai’s body came up behind me, his cock digging in my back as he kissed my shoulder, my neck, his fingers still resting on my inner thigh, tracing the lines of my pussy.

“Derik’s a strong fucker; we almost failed,” Kai admitted, and I smiled, turning up to Kai so his lips could find mine as Derik kissed over my chest, collarbone, and breasts, his tongue flicking over my nipple, pushing my breast up to reach his mouth.

I sighed, leaning further into Kai, arching my back as Brax moved to my side, his fingers sliding down my ass, rubbing my entrance with teasing touches against my clit.

“But you didn’t,” I moaned. “How did you pass so quickly?” I asked Kai, who tensed before shaking his head.

“A story for another time, Little Human, but pain is not an issue for me. And it will never be for you again. I won’t allow it,” he vowed, and I sighed at the conviction in his voice.

That safe warm glow filled me again, and I smiled before kissing him, holding his face to mine so I could find his tongue and taste him.

He groaned against me before reaching down and covering my other breast with his rough grasp, toying with the nipple at the same time Brax slipped a finger inside me.

I cried out and clutched Derik, who was still claiming my other breast with his mouth, sending pleasure so deep in my core I was already so close to the edge. Like just their touch could get me there, not needing much to send me over it.

I bucked my hips against Brax as he kissed my neck, his fingers curling against my G-spot, making me shudder and whimper in the arms of all three of them.

I was so on edge that when my orgasm blinded me a few seconds later, I was a mess, trembling and coming undone, my pussy sucking on Brax’s fingers, my nipples tightening under Derik’s tongue, my mouth more demanding on Kai’s.

And then I was burning from the inside out, not pain but a desperate need clinging to every part of me. A need that demanded claiming them as mine.

I don’t know how I knew what it wanted, but it was so strong it had me gasping.

All three of them growled, their fists clenching on me, claws extending as it hit them too. They pierced my skin, but there was no pain, even when blood was drawn, only a soul-deep need.

It was so powerful and hot I couldn’t breathe.

I shoved Derik back from his knees, climbing over him as he reached for me. I sank onto his thick, leaking cock seconds later, crying out as he filled me and an intense wave of pleasure crashed in on me.

It was like orgasming, but it didn’t stop. Not when I started slamming down on him, not when he was growling, clawing at my legs, not when Kai and Brax started fisting themselves, waiting, their cocks throbbing in their hands.

“Faster,” Kai panted, his pupils dilating like he couldn’t wait much longer to be inside me.

I needed all three of them, I needed them so fucking much, how was this like the heat? The heat was nothing compared to this.

I didn’t know what to do, this was a high that felt unclaimable, like no matter how hard and fast I fucked, I still couldn’t get enough to sate whatever lust demon had clawed its way into my core.

“Derik, more, please,” I whined, my thighs burning as I pumped up and down.

He grunted and grabbed my hips, taking over as he thrust up into me, filling me over and over, his pelvis hitting mine, and then it hit right where I needed him to, shoving me off the edge with such a violent thrust I cried out.

He didn’t stop though, he kept going against that spot, filling me up, making me cry out, scream, and scrape my nails down his chest.

“Derik, put your wolf away or I’ll take her off you,” Kai warned in a deep, hungry voice that made me shudder, my pussy tightening.

The threat, the possessiveness, made me cum harder around Derik, who had red eyes and fangs.

He clenched his jaw, pounding faster for a second before slowing down, his eyes flickering as he strained to stow the beast inside, but that just turned me on.

And then he was letting go, emptying himself inside me with thrusts that rattled me. He roared as he pistoned his hips for his final thrusts, fucking me into breathlessness until I slumped into him.

Kai’s arm came around me, hauling me back into him, pushing me onto my hands and knees.

Brax growled, his teeth baring as he went to grab me, but Kai gnashed his teeth back, spreading my legs and thrusting inside me before Brax could get there.

I almost collapsed at the pressure of his full cock inside me, his hardness throbbing against my walls as he thrust. I panted, gasping with his strokes as he entered me over and over.

He reached around, playing with my clit and my breast, kissing over my raised skin as I crumbled around him, my body so overwhelmed and sensitive it let go.

I cried out as my orgasm came so hard and fast I fell down.

Kai gripped his arm around my waist, hauling me up, fucking me roughly, then tenderly, before his roar broke the silence in the air and he was a savage, almost ripping me in half with his furious thrusts as he let himself go.

I don’t know how I orgasmed again but I did, screaming as tears stung in my eyes, the pleasure so fierce it had nowhere else to go.

I was shaking by the time I got to Brax, not sure if I could orgasm again. I was so sensitive, so full of everything they were. Like their cocks had some kind of spell on them and I was just a sacrifice to them.

Brax brought me to him, and my heart raced. He was usually the roughest, the most savage in bed together, but this time, when he entered me, he held me, pushing in slowly, his mouth finding mine in a tender kiss that made it so much more.

His shadows moved inside me easily, like they were mine too, caressing under my skin as he stroked my pussy with his thick cock.

It was just as overwhelming, the way he held me to him, crushed my breasts against his chest, pushed me down on his cock, tangled his fingers in my hair as wisps of his blond waved between us.

I breathed hard, sweat coating my skin as I slid up and down on him, each hit to the hilt of him making my core burn and tighten until I couldn’t go any further and broke the tension, gripping him, moaning and gasping against the kisses he peppered me with.

He came with me only a few seconds later, my orgasm dragging out through his until I was just as overwhelmed, the firecrackers going off, his shadows filling me just as fully as his cock, making everything combust into explosions.

I fell into him, sagging as I tried to catch my breath, thinking it was over, but the desperation, the need was still there, breaking through the sated feeling and making me angry.

I didn’t understand it. I didn’t know why I couldn’t get enough, but I could feel it in them too.

“It’s not finished,” I breathed, my legs sore, my bones achy, but my soul still so demanding.

~“Not until sunrise, Spitfire,”~ Brax said in my mind, and I sucked in a breath at how clear it had come through, like breaking the seal on our new link was the next step.

My body flooded with emotions and thoughts and feelings, all swirling around, and I gasped, falling back off Brax.

Derik was there, holding me up as he stood and carried me from the destroyed living area to the bedroom. I laid my head against him.

~“I want to fuck you again,”~ I thought in my own mind, trying out how the new link worked, gasping when I felt the alphas chuckle to my own thought.

~“Will every thought be heard through here?”~ I wondered, my heart racing a little at the thoughts they might get a hold of.

Like the ones about how deep I felt for them. The ones that showed how much I loved them and whether I could say that to them. I was a human, was it allowed? Did they know what they meant?

“You know we wouldn’t be here linking ourselves to you if we didn’t feel the same, beautiful,” Derik reassured me.

He laid me down on a soft bed that I didn’t have a chance to look at because his mouth covered mine and he was caressing me again like my body needed.

“We need this too,” Kai said, climbing on the bed with us as Brax followed, brushing his hair back with his hand, his body glistening like mine.

“I wish we could be true mates,” I whispered, pulling back from Derik’s lips.

He grinned as Brax chuckled. Kai scowled.

“Alphas don’t mate. And you are the only mate we will ever accept. Especially now,” Brax said, and I grinned.

Kai pushed Derik off me and started kissing down my thigh, licking over the scarred bites, making me arch off the bed, sighing as the pleasure that still came with those filled me.

“I will kill myself before accepting another mate, Little Human,” he vowed, then released his fangs.

“Kai. Don’t you dare,” Derik warned, but Kai just smirked and lowered his face to my leg, sinking his fangs into my inner thigh, right next to his other bite.

I cried out, pleasure exploding, my body combusting as an orgasm ripped through me. He lifted my other leg, licking over the bleeding wound, sending my orgasm into an erratic frenzy that had me crying out again, arching off the bed.

Kai bit me again on my hip.

Again on my breast.

I was lost. In some kind of surreal, out-of-body experience where I couldn’t exist in myself anymore because there was no room for my soul with all the pleasure overwhelming me.

One orgasm rolled into the other until I was almost passing out from lack of oxygen.

I faintly heard Derik and Brax yelling at Kai, but he just grinned, chuckling before licking over his bite marks again, and it really did feel like it was against my clit.

His fingers slid inside me as he licked, and I moaned, clutching the blankets, fisting his hair as I spiraled into oblivion.

I felt everything through the link: his obsession, his thoughts of claiming me, how badly he wanted to release the toxin in his bite that could turn me. Thoughts of me dead made him stop himself, but he wanted to.

A part of me wanted him to. I sucked in a breath as his thoughts led me to the pain in his cock, the need just as desperate in him.

And then he was inside me and I was lost all over again.

To him, to Derik, to Brax. Over and over again until the sun broke through the floral curtains of the small room we were in and I was barely human.

Derik and Brax had stopped fighting what Kai felt, which was my fault. The link made them very influenceable, and I wanted their marks on me. I didn’t care if they scarred, I wanted that claim on my skin forever.

They gave me what I wanted, like I knew they would, because I felt how badly they wanted it too.

It was so intense. By sunrise the link was complete and whole inside me, and it was unlike anything I had ever expected to feel.

It was so intimate and connected. Every pain and pleasure they felt, I felt an extent of that. It was addictive. I just wanted to keep seeing how they felt, why they felt that way, and what they wanted so I could give it to them.

I could make it weaker or stronger, but I wanted it as potent as I could because feeling them so close to me was everything.

I was obsessed, addicted, connected. I wasn’t just me anymore, I was them, we were us.

And that felt so good.

I forced my tired body through the shower, drawing on strength that I normally wouldn’t have, tapping on theirs to stay awake.

Kai chuckled as he came through the door to the bathroom and got in the shower with me.

“You are a very needy mate.” He winked, and I shrugged.

“Technically not your mate, and technically just needed to borrow some of that werewolf energy to stand and exist after being fucked into oblivion.” I grinned.

He laughed and lifted me onto his waist, kissing me into the wall.

I had no idea how he was still able to fuck—let alone cum—but I was past trying to get answers about werewolves. They were an enigma, but they were mine, and that’s all I cared about.

“You are my mate. I don’t care whether we wear a brand or not, our brand is in here.” He pushed on my chest, and I grinned, kissing him again as he entered me, fucking me until I needed another shower.

When I finally made it out of the bathroom, Tabitha was sitting with a healed Cain and Derik, sipping tea with a knowing smile. Brax was waiting by the door, arms across his body as he leaned against the wall, just waiting to go.

“The fates have blessed your link. Congratulations,” Tabitha said, but her look told me she had assumed that from the beginning.

“The fates have nothing to do with this,” Brax said bitterly.

Tabitha ignored him and sipped her tea before putting her cup down. “Just in time too.”

She sighed, and I sat down on Derik’s lap, the other seat claimed by Kai.

Derik frowned and put his cup down. “Just in time?” he asked.

Tabitha nodded. “The Summit Council is ready for you. Best make your way up there as soon as you have eaten,” she said, and stood slowly, going to the oven and pulling out a roast that I hadn’t even smelled cooking.

“The vampires?” Derik asked.

She shrugged. “They have been made aware. They have begun the trek also.”

“The trek?” I asked, and she nodded, dishing everyone full plates of food, which I was grateful for.

My stomach rumbled, starving for something other than cock filling it. Kai chuckled at that and I blushed, forgetting they could hear my thoughts.

Even Derik cracked a smirk.

“It’s a summit, deary. You must climb. Like I said, nothing is free,” Tabitha explained, and I gulped.

Pretty sure they all heard it.

“I’ve never been mountain climbing before. I’m from the Grasslands, it’s all flat.” I half laughed; it was that or cry.

“It’ll be freezing, but your wolves will have their magic until the top level. There are three, and the elements will test your ability—and your worthiness—to be on the Summit,” she said, and I rolled my eyes.

“What is it with all the tests?” I whined, and Tabitha grinned, putting our plates in front of us before sitting down herself.

She left Brax’s plate empty, but I knew why. Brax wouldn’t eat it; he wouldn’t trust Tabitha to serve him.

I looked over at him and he nodded, letting me know I had guessed correctly, but really, I hadn’t guessed; the link had given me the instinct.

I got off Derik and went to the food, serving a plate for Brax and taking it over. He smirked and gave me a kiss before heading outside to eat.

I smiled after him, then went back to Derik’s lap. He kissed my cheek and started feeding me.

It was weird, and I wasn’t used to it, but I was content with it. Like his happiness was mine and the happiness he got from feeding me filled me, making it impossible to turn my head away.

This link was going to take some getting used to.

“The councils of the vampires and werewolves will meet, overseen by the witches who maintain the balance. Such a meeting has not happened in a long time. A test is required or the witches will not show and the meeting will not be allowed to happen.”

“How can they stop it?” I asked, not sure if I was scared of the witches or not.

I wanted to be, but Derik was reassuring me without actually talking to me, like he knew them and they could be trusted.

“They will make it impossible for you to make it to the Summit. If your intentions are pure, you will reach your destination. If they are not, the elements will overwhelm your journey.”

She shrugged like it was fair, and maybe it was, but it was still scary.

“Don’t worry. We are linked now, you can draw on us to survive,” Derik whispered in my ear.

I nodded but wasn’t sure. “And the whole freezing to death?” I asked.

He grinned. “We’ll keep you warm,” he said, and my mind went to where his was, pictures of us fucking in his head.

I licked my lips, holding the bottom one between my teeth to hide my smirk but failing miserably.

“The rest of the council members are staying to keep an eye on the city and the villages. They are not going in case the other winter born uses the opportunity to attack,” Cain informed us.

The wolves nodded as if they were already aware of the precautions, but I didn’t know what they were talking about.

“I thought the link let us share everything?” I asked, not sure how I had missed plans for in case my brother goes homicidal again.

Derik smiled as Kai laughed through wolfing his food down.

“Not with the pack. That’s a separate link. Since you’re not a werewolf, we can’t share that with you.”

“Huh,” I said, imagining a Y intersection in my mind that I assumed was being put there by one of the wolves.

It was interesting though. I had just thought it was going to be an open connection, and I was a little annoyed that I had no private space in my mind from them but they could hide things from me.

~“We won’t hide things from you,”~ Derik said in my mind, and I kept eating.

~“Maybe not on purpose.”~

~“Not at all,”~ Kai vowed.

~“You have your shadows. Things you experience with them, we can’t feel,”~ Brax said, and I raised a brow.

Derik nodded. That made me more comfortable, and I leaned back against Derik, so tired. My eyes fluttered closed, and I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but I did within seconds.

I briefly woke up when I was being carried outside and the wolves were saying goodbye. I tried to say thank you and goodbye, but I couldn’t find the energy.

“She says thank you and goodbye,” Derik chuckled from under me.

I smiled lazily, then fell back asleep until we were back in the carriage. Derik laid me down, my head in his lap, and I didn’t wake up until Kai was kissing me that afternoon, the sun setting.

“Time to go, Little Human. You need to dress,” he said, kissing me again.

I rolled over in bed, sighing as my eyelids tried to close again.

“Five more minutes?” I asked, still so tired. I just wanted a little bit longer so it didn’t hurt to open my eyes.

“Bathe and dress. We have to go to the Summit,” Derik said.

I sat up, trying to prepare myself for the most important meeting of my life, one even more so than the blood moon had been, because the vampires wanted me and my wolves had just underhanded them by officially claiming me.

That was probably going to piss them off.