Chapter 114

A Month later Alessia’s POV He’s gone.

I didn’t spend enough time with him. Not as much as I had wanted to.

There are so many things that we never got the chance to do or talk about.

Should I have stayed with him for longer hours or maybe even moved in with him so that I could have taken better care of him? Would he still be around if I did all that?

I take in a shaky breath, my head buried into my pillow, staining the linen with my tears. Tears that don’t stop rolling down my cheeks in fat waves.

Dear G o d, it hurts. It hurts so f ck i n g much. It feels like there’s an anvil placed on my heart, crushing it and making each breath that comes out of me more painful than the next. Soon, I’m gasping for air and choking on a s .

How many more people am I going to have to lose before I can obtain happiness? First my mother. Then Jake and now my father who I barely got the chance to know. Who is going to be next on the list?

A soft knock on the door pulls me out of my self-pitying party. “Alessia,” Caden calls out. “Let me in. I don’t want you to be alone at a time like this.”

I know it’s s h i t t y but I locked Caden out of his room and turned it into my cry room. I just want to be alone. I know Caden’s intentions

are good but I don’t want any comforting right now.

All I want is to be alone, cry myself to sleep, wake up, and continue the whole process again.

And Caden won’t allow me to go down

that route if I let him in.

He will want to comfort me and make me feel better, but that isn’t what I need or want.

“Alessia, please open the door.” Another soft knock. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

His words weaken my resolve and almost have me lifting from the bed to let him in. I quickly cover my head with a pillow to drown

out his pled.

I don’t know how long Caden stayed out there, begging for me to accept his comfort. Twenty minutes into his begging, I fall into a dreamless sleep, exhausted from all the crying and emotional baggage.

When I wake up, it is to the sound of footsteps and shuffling of things.

With a groan, I peel open a heavy eye and find Caden smiling at me with guilt in his eyes.

“I’m sorry I woke you up. I just wanted to leave the plate on your bedside for when you wake up.” He nods at a covered plate on the bedside table. “You missed dinner and I didn’t feel comfortable knowing that you would be going to bed on an empty stomach,” he

explains.

For the first time since I’ve known him, Caden seems unsure of himself. He keeps looking at me with concern and it’s very obvious that there are things he wants to say but he says n

The room falls into silence.

“Thank you,” I finally say in a very raspy voice. With a grimace, I cough to clear my throat. A thought crosses my mind. “How did you get in?” I’m a hundred percent sure that the door was locked before I fell asleep. His guilty smile deepens. “I got the key to the room and let myself in.” He rushes out, “I was worried about you and that’s why I did it.” I keep mute, watching him beat himself up for taking the keys and using them to bring me food. He’s acting like he just created a grave offense and I decide to bring the poor man out of his misery. “Thank you.” I nod at the plate beside me but that isn’t the only thing that I’m grateful for. It’s everything. He smiles.

So bright, that it felt like the blinding light seeped into my chest to shine on my broken heart.

“I’ll be going now.” With one final smile my way, he turns around on his heels and starts walking towards the door.

“Wait,” I rush out just as his fingers close over the door k n o b.

He stops and turns. “Yes? Do you need anything else?”

Of course, that’s what he will ask. He’s so good to me and all I’ve been doing is pushing him away from me. “Don’t go.” My voice comes out tiny and low. Clearing my throat, “Stay with me,”

I rephrase.

His hand falls from the doorknob and then he’s headed for my bed again. He doesn’t stop when he gets to the edge of the bed. Instead, he climbs in and pulls me into his embrace, wrapping me up in a warm cocoon.

“How are you doing?” He asks, his lips pressed on my head.

It’s a simple question but that’s all it takes to get the waterworks going again. I bury my face into his chest and hold him tightly, scared that he might just slip away if I don’t. Just like everyone else.

Jude. That b a s t a r d.

He’s the reason why I’m sure a mess right now. He had better pray that I never get my hands on him because I’m going to make sure he suffers a greater pain than the one I’m currently experiencing.

He is going to beg for mercy but he will find none. He will beg for death instead but even that won’t be granted to him.

My fingers clench into fists as my resolve strengthens. I’m going to make him pay for everything.

But today, I’m going to let myself enjoy Caden’s embrace. With a sigh, I draw closer to him, basically about to slide into his lap just so I can get closer.

Caden picks me up and plops me on his lap. “I’ve got you,” he whispers in my ear while running his fingers through my hair.