Chapter 85 by Cara Anderson

Ch. 85 For Our Pups

Colton’s POV

We were on our way back to Black Moon. On our way home. Nathan had agreed to stay in Hazelwood for the time being, to settle the pack and keep an eye on things. It had been an easy choice since his mate had been reluctant to leave with him.

Mallory had put up a fight when my brothers and I announced our intention to leave. She felt Hazelwood was her responsibility and needed her attention. It did. But we’d finally convinced her that the pack was in good hands, a fact she was hardly in a position to deny given her history with Nathan, and she needed to put herself and the pups first.

She’d been through a trauma, physically and emotionally, and as her mates, we were desperate to get her the care she needed and check on the condition of our pups. Not that there was any real concern for their well- being. Their three heartbeats were audible now and grew stronger every day. Still, our Alpha natures required reassurance.

All of that was well and good. But soon the doctor appointments and relieved reunions with Maeve and our parents would pass and I’d be forced to face my fate where my bond with Mallory was concerned. A flock of nerves took flight in my stomach at the thought.

Sensing my disquiet, Clay offered his version of wisdom.

“Just tell her the truth. She’ll understand. The bond-”

“The bond won’t be enough.” I snapped, cutting him off. Cary hissed at us when Mallory stirred in her sleep, a warning to keep it down. “The bond was never enough. You know that. But now, I don’t know… it feels weak. The sparks… I can barely feel them.”

“What?” Even Cary couldn’t stay quiet at that revelation. “Our bond is healed. It should’ve healed your bond with Mallory too.”

“Maybe you shutting me out isn’t what broke it. Maybe I did. Maybe the last time I hurt her was too much to forgive.” The possibility gutted me but I knew it might be true.

“Give it time, Colton. The bond will heal.” Clay encouraged.

“If it doesn’t-” I started.

“It will.” Cary gritted out insistently.

“But if it doesn’t, if she doesn’t want me, I don’t want you to wait for her to forgive me when that might never happen. Mark her. Make her yours.

We’ve all been smacked in the face with the reality of what could happen. Life is too short.”

“Just give it time.” Clay muttered again, inflexible as ever.

I gaped openly at Mallory. Her head lolled adorably on Cary’s shoulder and one of her hands fisted in Clay’s shirt, as if he might slip away while she slept. I wondered if she always slept that way, clinging to them like a baby koala, or if the trauma of her ordeal haunted her dreams. The fact I didn’t know, hadn’t shared those nights with them, tore me up inside.

Jealousy had never been a problem between my brothers and me. Before Mallory, we’d all had our own interests and been indulged enough to never feel slighted by what the others had. Seeing them now though, observing the ease that existed between them and our mate, the way she gravitated towards them and sought them out for comfort, the green-eyed monster was alive and well, taunting me.

My wolf was no better. His own envy churned in my head, mixing with my own, a volatile combination. His thoughts mingled with mine, images of him snarling at my brothers’ wolves, nipping at their heels in warning to back away from our mate. He wanted her to himself, to make up for the time he’d lost while his human was busy fucking everything up.

“Down, Kai!” I warned him. “She doesn’t belong to us alone. It’s not Gunner or Roan’s fault. It’s mine. We both have to make peace with that.”

“Bring me my mate or you’ll never have another day of peace as long as I live.” He blustered.

“I’ll do my best.” I wasn’t sure if I was telling myself or him.

We pulled to a stop in front of City General hospital, the one Mallory had been abducted from days ago. Though I knew the threat was contained at the moment, anxiety spiked through our bond all the same, None of us had forgotten the terror it wrought to have our mate ripped away from us so violently. 1

But Mallory had liked Dr. Diaz and insisted if she were being railroaded into another doctor visit so soon, she only wanted to see her. So here we were.

I was excited as hell to see my pups but at the same time, I worried she might not want me there. So as soon as Cary managed to shake her awake and set her on her feet outside the car, I hurried around to catch up with her, pulling her aside.

“Colton? What’s up?” She questioned when I tugged on her sleeve to grab her attention.

“We’ll just wait inside for you, little wolf.” Clay kissed her temple and pulled Cary away, giving us space.

“Um, I just want to make sure you’re okay with me being here before we all go inside. I haven’t been there for you and I know I don’t deserve to be a part of this. I’d like to be, but not if it makes you uncomfortable.” I explained badly.

“If you want to be then you should be.” She blinked up at me, her doe-eyes blown wide. “You’re their father too, Colton. I would never keep your pups from you. I’m sure we can work something out so all three of you can be part of their lives.”

I wanted to scream at her, make her understand that I wanted to be part of her life too, but it wasn’t the time or place. So instead, I nodded and led her inside, my hand at the small of her back. Tiny sparks danced between us, reminding me of Clay’s words. Give it time. I would wait forever, but would she do the same?

We all filed into the small exam room where the doctor greeted us perfunctorily before focusing entirely on our mate. When she had Mallory change into a gown, I averted my gaze while Clay and Cary helped her undress. Jealousy flared again but I swallowed it down.

Then, finally, it was time for the ultrasound and our mate nearly bounced off the table with excitement. Mallory was a beautiful woman, strikingly so. But Mallory as a mother- to-be, glowing with love for her unborn pups, was stunning beyond description. My heart ached to be allowed by her side.

Clay and Cary looked on with pride when the babies came into view and the whooshing of their healthy heartbeats filled the room. But me, I stood awestruck. My entire world narrowed down to the three little wiggle worms on that screen.

“Amazing.” I whispered as a huge grin stole across my face.

Mallory’s head snapped up, her eyes locking with mine. Thank you. I mouthed the words to her and she smiled at me in return. And that’s when I knew, no matter what happened between Mallory and I, we would be okay. We would make it so for the love of those precious little pups.

Given the all clear by Dr. Diaz and armed with the cursory sonogram photos every proud dad carried in their wallet, we all headed back to the waiting vehicles. We all rode together with our warriors in the other cars but I was hoping for a new configuration on the way home. Riding the high of seeing our pups and the truce that seemed to have developed between us, it was as good a time as any to talk with my mate.

“Um, would you guys mind if Mallory and I took one of the other cars, alone? If she’s willing, of course.” I tossed out before I lost my nerve.

“Would that be okay with you, darling?” Cary checked with Mal.

“Um, sure. Okay.” She looked like it was anything but okay but agreed anyway.

“It’s fine with us then.” Clay confirmed.

I helped Mallory into the backseat and climbed in beside her. As soon as we pulled onto the road, I raised the privacy screen between the driver and us, working up the courage to speak. But Mallory beat me to it.

“Colton, I’m sorry!” She blurted out, striking me momentarily dumb.

“Sorry? What the hell do you have to be sorry about?” I couldn’t fathom what she was thinking.

“I didn’t intend for this to happen. I know this pregnancy complicates things for you and Darcy. I mean, I know she has a lot of healing to do but I assume she’ll want-”

“Mallory! Stop talking!” I didn’t mean to be rude but she obviously had the wrong idea and I needed to set her straight ASAP.

“Oh, I’m sorry. What did you want to say?” She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout that had me internally kicking myself.

“Listen, love,” I grabbed her hand and my heart leapt for joy when she didn’t pull away. “I know you hate me and I know it might not change anything. But I need you to know the truth. I don’t love Darcy. I don’t want a future with Darcy and we certainly aren’t together. We haven’t been since that first night I came to your room.”

“No! That’s not true. I felt-” She swallowed hard, choking back the words she couldn’t bear to say. “Why are you lying?”

“I know what you felt. Fuck! I hate myself for it. But please believe me, little Omega, None of it was real.”

She sniffled, tears welling in her eyes that she refused to let spill over. I pulled her against my chest, unable to look at the carnage I’d caused that reflected on her face.

“I don’t understand. You’re not making sense. It felt like someone clawed open my chest and ripped my heart out with their bare hands Like my very soul was being torn from my body. I’ll never forget that pain, Colton. How could it not be real?” Her words begged for an explanation but I wasn’t sure mine would ever be good enough.

“Fuck! I didn’t think! I’m so sorry, baby! I only meant to protect you but I handled it all wrong. Please just hear me out, I’m begging you. I know I don’t deserve it but our pups do. Can you do it for them”

Could I fucking sink any lower, using our unborn babies as leverage? But I was desperate in a way that left few things off the table, few things I wouldn’t do for the chance I was desperate to have. Mallory regarded me for a long minute, searching my eyes for a reason to either accept or deny my bid.

I held her gaze, though my inner shame implored me to look away. Finally, she gave a nearly imperceptible nod.

“Okay. For our pups.”