Journey Through the Snow

BELLE

Elijah carried me with ease, never showing a single sign of fatigue.

The tranquility of the forest surrounding us in addition to the comfortable silence between Elijah and me, made for a soothing environment. All that could be heard was the faint chirping of some birds nearby and Elijah’s rough steps in the snow.

“So where would you like to go?” Elijah asked me about a mile into our hike.

I set my chin down on his shoulder and sighed deeply. I didn’t want to make any decisions. I wanted to go to sleep. And then never wake up.

It was like my head was filled with murky water, not letting a single clear thought through.

I was drowning in the water, gasping for air, violently swimming upwards.

Swimming, swimming, with no end in sight. My chest constricted painfully as if I was really in the water and my breath caught in my throat. I tightened my legs around Elijah’s waist, trying to calm my shaking, exhausted body.

I shrugged weakly. “I don’t care,” I barely got out. “Wherever you want.”

Elijah chuckled softly. “I’ve only ever been off pack lands a handful of times. I wouldn’t even know which direction to head in if you asked me to decide.”

I paused.

Do I even know what direction to head in? I didn’t know much about the world either.

I had been to Paris and that was about it. The rest of my life had been spent in hospitals and at home taking care of my dad.

“Come on,” he urged in a soothing voice. “There’s got to be somewhere you want to go.”

Only one place came to mind. “I guess we could go to Minneapolis,” I said.

Minneapolis was the city where I grew up and only a few hours away by car. Although it didn’t contain many good memories, mostly just memories of my dad dying, it was the only home I had ever known. A thought popped into my head.

I might even be able to stop by my old apartment and get some of my stuff.

That is, if my old landlord, Mr. Hummer, hadn’t sold all of it yet.

He was a mean old man with beady eyes, yellow teeth, and breath that only ever smelled like either cigarettes or salami, nothing else. The number of eviction notices that I had received from him for forgetting to pay rent not even twenty-four hours after it was due was ridiculous.

I had no doubt that Mr. Hummer would not react kindly to seeing me, especially after I went missing for months, leaving him without a rent check and with the responsibility of dealing with all of my things. But it was worth a shot, right?

“Minneapolis could work,” Elijah said in approval. “I’ll go anywhere you want but Minneapolis is close enough for Kyle to commute back and forth but far enough away from the alpha for you to heal.”

I cringed slightly at the mention of Grayson. My heart constricted in my chest. Elijah winced.

“Sorry,” he said quickly. “I’ll stop talking about him.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll get over it. I’m…” I hesitated, but only for a moment. Then lifted my chin in determination. “I can handle it. I’m strong.”

Elijah didn’t waste a second in replying, “Hell yeah, you are! You don’t need him. Especially since you’ve got me. I’m pretty great in case you haven’t noticed.”

I laughed. And it felt good. It gave me hope.

At that moment, I became determined to get back on my feet as soon as possible so that Elijah could get back to his life. While I appreciated him to the moon and back and knew that I wouldn’t have been able to get through this day without him, he had better things to do than to take care of me.

I had been on my own basically my entire life.

I was good at it.

I could do it again.

I stretched my neck and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Thank you, Elijah. I know you’re giving up a lot to be with me. It really means a lot.”

Elijah smiled. “It’s an honor. No need to thank me.”

We walked for a few more minutes before my arms and legs began to get tired. My body was running out of adrenaline, quickly making me exhausted beyond belief. Not to mention the aching pain that was still throbbing throughout my body.

It felt like I had the worst flu ever.

“How much further until we get to town?” I asked. All I wanted to do was get on a bus, curl into a little ball in one of the seats, and sleep until we reached the cities.

“About ten more minutes,” Elijah said. “Do you need to take a break? We can stop for a few minutes.”

I shook my head quickly. “No. No, that’s okay. I don’t want to stop. I just didn’t realize how far away the nearest town was from the packhouse.”

Elijah looked down at me over his shoulder with a worried expression. “Are you sure? You’re not looking so good, Luna.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. He had promised to call me by my real name.

“Sorry,” he said quickly. “I’m still getting used to not calling you that. It might take some time. It goes against all of my instincts to call you by your real name.”

I chose not to mention the fact that he hadn’t even tried calling me Belle yet. How did he know he couldn’t do it if he didn’t even try?

I sighed. “It’s fine.” I tightened my arms around him, trying not to fall off his back and straight onto my butt in the snow. My forehead came in contact with his shoulder, trying to find some sort of stability. “I think I should walk for a while. I’m starting to feel motion sickness.”

I didn’t have to look at Elijah to know he was frowning. He slowed his steps, thinking about it. Then, thankfully, he stopped. He set my suitcase down in the snow and gently grabbed my legs so he could help me off his back.

I couldn’t stop myself from leaning against a nearby tree the second my feet touched the ground. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to breathe. When I opened them a few seconds later, Elijah was looking at me with a distressed expression.

“I’m fine,” I said before he could ask how I was doing. I straightened, pushing off the tree and tugging my shoulders back. “Let’s keep going.”

Elijah didn’t look convinced by my lacking display of strength.

He thrust out his hand, palm up. “Backpack,” he said, motioning for me to give my bag to him.

My brows knit together in frustration. I wasn’t that weak. I could still carry my own damn backpack, thank you very much.

“I’ve got it. I can do it,” I said stubbornly. I started to walk in the same direction we were going before, hoping he would drop the subject.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t so lucky. Elijah stepped in front of me, blocking my path. “I know you can do it,” he said sternly, still holding his hand out. “I just don’t care. If you’re walking, I’m carrying your backpack.”

I frowned at him. His unfaltering expression told me I wasn’t going to win this battle. I sighed deeply and angrily yanked the backpack straps off my shoulders. I thrust it at him. “Fine. Here.”

The corner of his lips turned up, as he contently took the bag from my hands. “Thank you,” he said.

I rolled my eyes, feeling my own lips form a small smile. Why he looked so happy to be carrying a bag filled to the brim with books, clothes, and other useless objects was beyond me. But I was still grateful for his help.

He put the bag on his shoulders and bent down to pick up my suitcase as well. Then he looked at me, waiting patiently for me to give the go-ahead to keep moving. I used all the willpower left in my body to walk straight without stumbling.

But it was hard. Really. Fucking. Hard.

My legs screamed at me with every step, the burning in my chest traveling throughout the rest of me the further away I became from Grayson. It was like my body knew that I was leaving the man I loved and because it had such an intense connection to him, it was determined to let my mind know that it hated it.

I had never felt like my mind and body were two separate entities before, but that was the only way to describe it now. My mind and body were fighting against each other in a rigorous battle that neither would win.

All for a man who hated me. Beat me, used me, gained my trust and then tore me down in the most painful way possible. I hadn’t even realized I was crying until my vision blurred with unshed tears. I groaned in frustration and violently wiped at the tears, mad at myself for crying yet again.

I looked down at my feet, determined to keep walking, willing them to carry me just a little longer. And then a branch, hidden deep in the snow, seemed to grab onto my foot like a twisted hand, tugging my body down with a sudden force.

I crashed into the snow with a surprised scream, landing gracelessly on my front. I couldn’t stop myself from crying out my frustration. I slammed my fists down in the snow angrily over and over again.

Somewhere deep inside of me was screaming, Get your act together, Belle!

This is why Grayson couldn’t love you!

This is why your mother left you!

You’re weak, you can’t even walk without falling!

I let out a sob, more out of anger and frustration than sadness.

I would prove the voice wrong.

I would prove everyone wrong.

I could do it.

I could be strong.

And I was going to do it on my own. Nobody would hurt me ever again.

Elijah didn’t waste a second, quickly crouching down next to me the moment I fell. “That’s it,” he said harshly. He set my suitcase to the side. “I’m going to carry you. We’re leaving your suitcase here and I’m carrying you the rest of the way whether you like it or not. I’ll come back for your stuff later, once we’ve gotten you somewhere you can rest that isn’t in the freezing cold.” He tried to wrap his arms around me so he could lift me into the air but I stopped him.

“No,” I said roughly. I shoved his arms away from me, letting my anger and frustration show through. “I can do it. I said I can do it and I will.”

I wiped my hair out of my face and sat up. One of my elbows was severely scraped up through my jacket and dripping blood. My knees didn’t look any better.

I tried not to care that my only jacket now had a huge hole in it.

Pushing the pain aside, I stood with great effort. I looked at Elijah who was still watching me from his crouched position.

He shook his head in amazement, bringing himself to stand as well. “I know you don’t want to hear this right now and, honestly, I’m not really sure why I’m telling you this right after you had your heart broken,” he started, “but you would have made an amazing luna. Truly. The alpha made a terrible mistake giving you up.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Yeah, well,” I said, shifting my weight uncomfortably. “That’s all in the past now. Let’s keep going. I’m cold.”

Elijah nodded, not hiding his sad expression. “Okay.”

We continued our trot through the woods, Elijah now walking extremely close to me, I’m sure ready to catch me if I fell again. We only got a few more steps in before Elijah suddenly stopped.

I paused as well, turning to look at him a few feet behind me. “Elijah?” I asked.

His brown eyes were glazed over and glassy, appearing much darker than they usually did.

He was looking off into the distance with a strange expression on his face.

I didn’t know a lot about it, but by Grayson’s explanation and the few times I had seen him do it, I knew Elijah was midlinking someone, talking to them in his mind. But that wasn’t what worried me. Elijah’s expression was quickly turning panicked, his breathing quickening more and more by the second. Whoever was talking to him was not delivering good news.

When his eyes finally cleared, his gaze snapped to me. His jaw clenched roughly.

“Elijah?” I asked again. “What happened?”