The Alpha & Beta’s Regret – Chapter 48

Luci POV

Luci watched everyone file out of her Alpha and Beta’s office, saw Jack was the last to leave, that he stopped and looked right at her. He’d been waiting for her outside the office when she arrived, had smiled at her even though she had noted he’d not looked happy. She’d know what ever was about to happen inside this very office he’d not been happy about. The way he had been out there waiting for her. She got the impression he was trying to let her know he was on her side of what ever was about to go down.

Now he stood and looked at her as they all left. He wasn’t at all happy with Orien’s trying to claim her as his daughter once more. Wanted to take her back to Nightfall, something she was never going to do.

She’d heard both her mother and brother state that she should not. Both of them had acknowledged that Orien was still allied to Victor and then she herself had heard him state “It’s not that simple.” Even she knew that, yes, it was that simple. She had grown up and been trained to take over.

Learned how things worked even though she had known it was all pretence on Orien’s part, that he was just trying to keep her mother happy. She had been to allied meetings, seen other Alpha’s disassociate themselves with packs for lesser reasons, lesser crimes and what Victor had done, was a crime.

What he had done to little Jack was a crime, and Orien knew it. She looked right at Jack for a moment, knew that he was worried, had real reasons to be. She’d also seen that look on his face before, she knew him well. ‘I won’t go back to Nightfall.’ She mind-linked right to him trying to ease his worry ‘Not ever.’

Saw him nod and relax a little before turning and leaving the office, pulling the door closed behind him so she and her mother could talk privately.

“I’m sorry Luci.”

She turned her eyes to her mother. “Honestly, I didn’t even think he’d want me back at Nightfall. So I’m not offended, mother.”

“You should be, he would sever ties if it had been Thatcher who Victor had tried to kidnap, for whatever reason.”

“Yes, I know.” And she did know he would. Thatcher was his actual flesh and b***d.

“Luci, I need to talk to you about Siren’s.”

“Alright. I am curious about them. I never learned anything about them in school.”

“Not many do, Luci, usually only those that would have one within a pack…I didn’t teach you anything and I’m sorry about that. I didn’t want anyone guessing at your linage. If I talked to you about them, you’d have asked a lot of questions. Orien would have wanted to know why I was teaching you about them as well. Likely figure out what your father was.”

“You never told him?”

“No, I never told anyone.” Her mother sighed heavily now, waved her hand around the room “for this very reason, Luci. He’s now trying to claim you as his, solely because of the power you or Alari hold. All Alpha’s want power, Luci. When it gets out, all Alpha’s will want you.”

“I don’t want any of them.” Luci shrugged, and she didn’t, was already attached to two men she couldn’t have, was not about to let some other come along and try and claim her solely for her Siren gene’s “They’ll likely only want the power of Siren-blooded Heirs.”

“That is very unlikely to happen, Luci. Sirens are not like other creatures.” Felt her mother’s hand slip over hers. “Sirens are not born with a Goddess Gifted Mate out there, waiting on them.”

Luci stared at her now, “Father was not gifted to you?”

“No, he chose me.” She smiled a little “I think from the first day he saw me. When I chose him back, loved him on my own terms, of my own free will. He told me he loved me, asked me to be his Mate. I said yes. That is how Sirens find their Mates, are always chosen.”

Luci sighed as she looked at her mother. She already knew that both she and Kali had chosen Rafe and Jack, they’d never wanted anyone else once here with them. Becoming their concubine had seen all of her s****l needs sated. She’d not needed anyone else in her bed. Now she understood why she was attached to them, how that had happened.

“You chose them, didn’t you, Luci? You and Kali chose Rafe and Jack. That’s why your still a part of their pack.”

She nodded, “I didn’t want anyone else.” Luci murmured sadly, still didn’t and she knew it. Had no desire to be with anyone at all anymore. Never even got that itch to scratch like she used to before them. They could never have another and she knew it, Kali knew it. Hell, even Alari knew it.

“Luci, I thought that they would choose you…it’s why I let you come here to be with them, didn’t fight it. They could never keep their hands off of you, even when warned multiple times not to.”

“It was always fun.” Luci nodded. “Not so much anymore.”

“Luci, Sirens. They don’t have babies with just anyone, only with their Mate, only after they have chosen each other and …”

“And?”

“Once both parties choose each other, something happens Luci…The Goddess herself will grant them to each other. Then they become Goddess Gifted to each other. This is how it works for Sirens. I was your father’s Chosen Mate and when I chose him back, we were Gifted to each other. He knew, I did not. Was more than a shock to feel those Mate Bond sparks on my skin before he Mark and Mated me. Very cheeky he was.” Saw her mother smiling. “You’re just like him.”

Her mother reached up and brushed a hand through her hair. “Look more like him now too, he was tall and blonde…You, Luci, were created from a Goddess Gifted bonded pair. I loved your father, our time together may have been very brief, but I still recall how he loved me, how much I loved him.”

“It must be nice to have that,” Luci muttered. She was never going to have that herself. The men she loved, loved others. Were Marked and Mated and had found their Goddess Gifted Mates. She was not theirs, never would be. Had a hell of a long life of loneliness ahead of her.

“There is still time, Luci. I know things are hard for you right now, but perhaps one day things will be different.”

“I doubt it.” Luci sighed as she turned her eyes away from her mother to stare across the room.

There was silence for several minutes before her mother asked her quietly “Luci, honey, did you Mate yourself to them?”

Her eyes moved back to her mother and she frowned at her. She’d told no one that, not even Rafe and Jack, after it had happened.

“Did you go into heat and Mate them?” her mother questioned her further.

“Yes.” Luci sighed “But how could you know that?”

“Only a Mated Siren will have children. No Siren will have a baby with just anyone. There has to be a true connection, Love.”

“I’m screwed, aren’t I?”

Saw her mother’s very apologetic look. “If only I’d told you what you were, perhaps trusted Rafe and Jack with your linage,” she sighed “Things might have been very different, but I didn’t want you being used by anyone, just because of your Siren gene’s.”

“Not your fault, mother. You did what you thought was best. To protect me. I was the stupid one, to think that they would choose me. Wouldn’t find their Goddess Gifted Mates, I felt like I belonged here with them. Let myself be deluded into thinking I’d never lose them. I was very stupid. Should have known better. I got lost in my own happiness and reality smashed me good and proper.”

“You’re not stupid Luci.”

“Yes, I was, I’m still Mated to them.” she felt hot tears prick at her eyes “I can’t undo that, I’m stuck with it forever.” Felt those tears spill over and dashed them away, found her mother’s arms around her.

“It’s why you can’t leave.”

“Can never leave, I was as far away as I could get, couldn’t go any further than the other side of the lake, without it hurting terribly.”

“I’m sorry Luci,” her mother whispered, also sounded sad now. “I’ll see to it that you get a place further away. Now that I understand better.”

“What does it matter? I’m still going to have to see them together at some point. At least, I don’t feel it when they are with their Mates. The bond was not completed properly and, not being my Goddess Gifted, I suppose you could say the Goddess spared me that much. Should be thankful for it right.”

“A small blessing I guess.” Her mother sighed heavily.

“I guess you could call it that.”

“You didn’t sever yourself from them?” her mother pulled back and looked at her.

“I have not. I would need to reject them in person, I imagine. I don’t want them to know just how stupid I was. To think that I could keep them.”

“It’s not stupid Luci. You loved them.”

She said nothing to that at all, there was no point, I was her problem to deal with, and there was nothing she could do about it. Had been this way for many years now. She had learned to deal with it. It was just now that bit harder to do right this minute. Due to being inside the actual pack itself. Having to smell them, see them, talk to them or hear one of them inside her head.

Knowing that at some point and likely soon, she was going to have to see not just them, but them with their Mates, knew what Mated pairs were like, how affectionate and loving towards each other they were. Really didn’t want to have to see that at all.

But it was inevitable, though perhaps a house well away from the packhouse was a really good idea. Out near the lake would be nice. “Do you think I and the boys could get a house near the lake?” she asked after some time.

“I don’t see why not? You’re more than capable of looking after yourself and the boys.”

“That we are.” Luci agreed.

“Ask them, I’m sure it will be okay.”

She didn’ know if she wanted to ask them, she’d barely said a word to either of them, didn’t really know what to say. Didn’t even know if she should be apologising for keeping the boys from them. Though that was never really a decision she argued about with either Kali or Alari.

They were their boys, always were just hers, theirs. A little piece of the men she loved and could never have, and she wasn’t about to go giving them up now. It hadn’t really even been a decision she realised now. She’d left and those precious boys were theirs and no one else’s. Had not even thought about going back to birth them inside the pack. Never even spoke to the boys about their fathers.

It had been her, Kali and Alari, and their boys, and that’s just how it was. It had hurt sometimes, felt the pain of not being with them and Alari taking over to get them through it, but they’d never thought of going back. Had a feeling until yesterday, Alari wouldn’t have allowed it. Only did now because Victor had managed to take her down and injure little Jack as well. They were vulnerable and Alari had thought they were not up until that moment.

“Mum?”

“Yes, Luci.”

“If I wasn’t, you know…Mated to them. Would I just be alone forever, with no Mate out there?” she asked, curious about that now.

“It is likely.” She heard the sadness in her mother’s voice.

“Will the boys be the same?” Looked right at her mother now, she didn’t want them to always be alone, like she was going to be.

“I don’t know to be honest. They are hybrids Luci. They could well already have Mates out there. Or they could be able to chose like your father did and be gifted a true bond.”

“How did you know you went from chosen to gifted?”

Saw her mother smiling now. “That was easy. Not only did I feel those sparks of a true Mate Bond, but I could scent him, just moments after I accepted him. He smelled like rain on the lake. He was also a bit naughty. He knew what would happen, us getting gifted to each other. I loved him truly like he did me. He sat and waited for me to realise it, smiled right at me when I did, then claimed me properly.”

“Were you mad at him?”

“No,” her mother chuckled softly, “I was actually really happy, whacked him good and proper. Then he explained it to me. How it was for Sirens. He was more than naughty and cheeky sometimes. It’s where you get it all from. Why I just smiled at you all the time, never worried or chastised you. You reminded me of Lucian all the time. I loved that. You, Luci, are my piece of him, like I guess the boys are for you and Kali, a piece of the men you love. But can no longer have.”

“I wish I had gotten to meet him.”

“So do I Luci, so do I.”