Unspoken Feelings Revealed

“Answer me, Rebecca. Am I the reason? Or Phoebe?” he asked.

“Yes and no at the same time,” I began. “Listen, Drew, I know that I am acting like a child. You were honest with me, and you never promised me anything. It was only sex for you, and I get it. It’s just... I thought that I could handle it.

“After our encounter at the dorm, I was okay. Yeah, it was never like that with any guy in my life, but since I only had one cheating boyfriend... Shit, I am saying too much... Well, after we continued to see each other, I started to like you, but I wasn’t delusional or anything.

“I know you had a reputation, that you’re not the dating type, you don’t do relationships. But when you approached me at the party, and how you acted there... Hell, I thought that maybe I caught your eye, and maybe it wouldn’t be only sex between us...

“You opened up to me, you know that…” I took a deep breath. It was harder now since I was going to admit my feelings for him.

“You have no idea how surprised I was when you showed up at the dorm the morning after and how happy I was because of it. You kissed me, remember? And it was so not like our other kisses, it was full of tenderness, and I think that’s exactly what made me believe that you felt something for me.

“But then Lily came in, and you changed back to your normal self, like you had been acting with me around campus. Like I didn’t exist in the daylight, but in the evening, you were all mine…”

“You didn’t give a damn about me after Lil’s appearance, you didn’t talk to me and flirted in front of me with the waitress, you even got her number… The realization that I liked you much more than I thought hit me hard… It was the way to nowhere, but I still couldn’t do anything about it.

“That’s why I left you and Lily after lunch… I needed to clear my mind. I convinced myself that I was only a hookup for you, and I shouldn’t have had any hopes about you… And then you showed up at the dorm, waiting for me and again… You gave me hope, Drew! It wasn’t fair…”

“Becca…”

“No, let me finish, okay? I kept this to myself for too long… I thought that you cared about me, that you needed time to accept it, and soon you would reach out to me, and would try to contact me. But you didn’t. I waited like a fool, having hopes about us…”

“Then there was that bonfire party, I didn’t know that you were dating Phoebe already, I thought that she was your girl for the night. But seeing you with her hurt me like hell. I was jealous and vulnerable.

“And then Kate blurted out to me that you were a couple with Phoebe... that you started dating her just after you left me at the dorm... How did I feel? Like a stupid girl, who slept with a guy without any obligations and still managed to fall for him. Shit!”

“After I found out the truth about your relationship with Phoebe, I had sex with a guy from my hometown... He’s older than me, he was gentle, and I felt desirable in his arms. But he wasn’t you. So, yes, Drew... it’s hurting me to see you together with her... Hell, I can’t even look at you!”

“It’s hard, but I am trying. Give me some time, and I will leave you out of my drama... I will be able to look at you without feeling anything, and I am sure I will be laughing at my stupidity with time.”

“Now, there is nothing that I want more than to be able to let it go... I am bothering you. I am nothing to you because I will never be enough... It’s hard to swallow, you know...”

“Becca, I... You’re wrong, you know... You’re the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on... And do you really think that sex with other girls was like it was between us? Bullshit! I’ve never wanted anyone more than you...”

The door to my room opened wide. Logan stood in the doorframe. His eyebrows were furrowed, lips curled into a thin line. Drew cursed. He stood up from the bed and took a step toward the door.

“What the hell? Your girlfriend is worried about you. I volunteered to find you because if it was her who opened this damn door, I am afraid the consequences would have been much different,” Logan said.

“What if I don’t care?” Drew replied curtly.

“Then why did you bring her to our town? If you like Becca, you should be honest about it!”

“Yeah, just like you. You’re the most honest man in the world.”

“What does that mean?” Logan seethed.

“Just saying, if you like Becca, you should be honest about it.”

I gasped. Drew and Logan were looking at each other furiously. I didn’t know what to do about it.

“Logan? Drew? What are you doing here?” Mrs. Jones came into my room. “I think it would be best if you both leave Becca alone. Besides, your girls downstairs… They might have misinterpreted this whole situation.”

Without saying anything, Logan turned around and rushed to the stairs. Drew smiled at Mrs. Jones and left my room calmly, straightening his shoulders and holding his head high.

She waited for him to disappear down the stairs; only then did she turn her attention to me.

“Well, I must say that I had my suspicions about why you were so upset. Lily had told us about you earlier, and I wasn’t expecting you to act as you did after you arrived at our house.”

“Rebecca, my son and Drew have been friends for a long time, and honestly, it’s the first time they’ve liked the same girl. I was especially surprised about Logan, I was sure that he loved Melanie. But now… I just want to warn you that you need to know what you are doing…”

“If they need to choose, they won’t abandon their friendship for a girl.”

“That was never my intention. Besides, they are both taken and…”

“Rebecca.” She cut me off. “Maybe my son will stay with Melanie, they have been together for more than a year, but Drew… I have known the guy since childhood. How he looks at you, well, let’s just say that it’s unusual for him.”

“Drew isn’t as discreet as he thinks he is, he stares at you for far too long, forgetting about his surroundings. He’s a player on the field and in life. But maybe… he’s just been waiting for someone like you.”

“I am not a seer, but I am sure that at the end of winter break, things will change. Call it a woman's intuition or even a mom's intuition. But don't get involved with the two of them.”

With that, she turned around and closed the door in my stunned face. I was sitting on my bed, completely dumbstruck. What had happened was insane. Did Drew mean what he was saying?

Then why was he with Phoebe? Fucking hell! And Logan... He was angry because of Drew's presence in my room. How long was he behind the door? How much had he heard?

I fell on my back and closed my eyes. I was upset and nervous when I arrived here, and now I was baffled.

I almost drifted to sleep when my door opened again. It was Kate. She quietly closed the door and tiptoed to my bed. She curled up under my blanket, placing her hand on my cheek.

I opened my eyes and whispered to her.

“What is it, Kitty Kate?”

“Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah…”

“Sorry, babe... I couldn't sleep... Was Drew in your room?”

“Uh huh…”

“Becca!”

“Oh God, stop yelling... You will wake the whole house!” I hissed at her and turned to lie on my back so I could see her face.

“Sorry... He said he was going to use the bathroom and disappeared for twenty minutes. Phoebe started to freak out. She was worried about him. But I honestly think that she was thinking what I was thinking. That he was with you…”

“Logan thought the same, because when Phoebe asked again where Drew could be, he said that he’d go and find him. They were back ten minutes after, but both were tense, and Logan was more like annoyed.”

“I saw Mrs. Jones, who also went upstairs, following Logan. She was back soon after Logan and Drew’s return. I was certain that she had found them both in your room.”

“Something like that, yeah…” I yawned.

“Becca, give me something more specific. What happened between Drew and you?”

“Nothing. We talked. Mostly it was me. He didn’t have time to say more because Logan showed up.”

“Logan looked pissed. He quickly covered it up, but I saw it, and Melanie did too.”

“Well... I am afraid he was listening to my conversation with Drew... or he was pissed because Drew asked him to admit that he likes me…”

“What? But that’s... Oh my God, Becca…”

“Yeah... tell me about it. Then Mrs. Jones showed up and kicked them out of my room. She asked me not to be involved with either of them. Because in the end, it will be me who will be hurt. They will always choose each other.”

“Fuck…”

“Well said. But I don’t know what to think. Drew admitted that he likes me, but then I don’t get it. Why did he start dating Phoebe?

“And Logan? He has no right to be upset about Drew and me, and still... Kate, tomorrow will be a new day, and I will try to think about it again... Or not to think at all. But I want to sleep, honestly.”

“Can I stay?”

“Can I make you leave?”

“Nope.”

“Then you know the answer. Goodnight, Kate!”