Crossing Forbidden Lines

Our kiss was long, it felt like we were kissing for hours, but in reality, it was only minutes. Logan’s kisses were the same as I remembered them.

Passionate and gentle, fiery, and dangerous at the same time. He leaned into me and now I was lying on my back on his bed with him on top.

Logan was balancing himself on his arms. He was afraid that he would be too heavy for me. Soon enough, I felt his hard-on as his pelvis pressed on me. He broke our kiss and placed his forehead to mine.

Then he rolled off of me and laid on his back.

“Fucking hell, Becca, this is so wrong…but I have wanted this for a long damn time… When I saw you standing in the doorframe, that night on your first day at college, I wanted to come to you, to touch you, to scoop you up in my arms…

“Seeing that prick touching you, I was enraged. Do you know what was going on in my mind? My girlfriend couldn’t come that night, and I didn’t give a damn about it. There you were, a total stranger, and still, I couldn’t take my eyes off you.

“For the moment of weakness in the bathroom, I hated myself, because I saw the hurt in your eyes. I wanted to kiss you and so much more, totally forgetting about Mel sleeping in my room. See how selfish I was?

“Then I started to feel guilty because I realized that I cheated on Melanie. It doesn’t matter how bitchy she could be, she didn’t deserve that, and neither did you. I have feelings for her. I know I do.”

“What happened between you and her? Is she still angry at you?” We were whispering to each other as I nestled my head on his chest. He sighed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. His fingers started combing my hair.

“Well... I don’t want to lie to you... With your appearance in college, my relationship with Mel started to change. She’s smart. She put two and two together very soon, she saw my glances in your direction, heard me asking Lily where you were. She knew that you were the reason...

“I tried to distance myself from you, and you were doing the same from your side, and I thought that Mel and I would be happy again. But I was wrong. I was drawn to you by some force I couldn’t even wrap my mind around.

“I had my suspicions about you and Drew after I heard rumors that you’d slept with him at the party after the game. I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t my business. I was worried about you; you were so sad when we came here.

“Then I overheard you and him... Fuck! He knew that I’d started to like you and that I always was faithful, always. I didn’t even look at other girls while I was in a relationship... Until you.”

“I guess you were the reason why Drew approached me...,” I said. “The attention you gave me made him curious; he wanted to know what was so special about me. The moment of competition.”

“There you’re wrong.” To my surprise, Logan corrected me. “Rebecca, you’re gorgeous. Drew saw you, too, that first night at the fraternity house. He was even the one who told me to look at you. He said something like—‘Hey, Logan, there is a stunning girl at the door, and she’s staring at you.’”

“Really? I didn’t even pay attention to him that night. My eyes were glued to you. I called him ‘the blond guy,’ as I didn’t know his name then.”

“Ha! Drew wouldn’t be thrilled if he knew that.”

“Of course, he wouldn’t. He’s Drew Milton. Every girl should know about him... Actually, can we change the subject? I don’t want to even talk about him. Besides, you still didn’t answer my question about you and Melanie…”

“Well, after I overheard you two, I realized that something was going on between you and him, and that it wasn’t just a one-time thing. I even remembered Tim’s story about you in Drew’s car. He had been seen with you.

“After my mom came into your room, I rushed down, pissed at Drew and myself...

“I was so blind that I hadn’t seen that this asshole likes you for real. Mel noticed my mood, and she knew that it was something about you. We had a little fight that night, but we tried to forget about it. Then there was the dinner, after which she found out that you were going to the lake house…”

“She was beyond pissed that I hid it from her. That she couldn’t be there. The argument was huge. She told me that you are ruining our relationship, and I wasn’t doing anything to fix it, that she saw how I look at you, and it was the same way I looked at her in the beginning…”

“Hell, Becca, she was right. She had the right to be angry with me. We didn’t break up, but she gave me time to think. She told me to make a decision about what I want and who I want to be with…and it’s driving me insane…”

“Why?” I already knew the answer, but I wanted to hear it from him.

“I want my relationship with Mel to be back to what it once was. I guess it will be more honest to say that I like her a lot. We have a history together. I was happy with her, and I liked spending time with her. She could be so caring and so damn cute…”

“But then there you are. I am in deep shit, Becca. I don’t know what to do…”

“Yeah... we need to do something about it... I want to look at you and not feel this urge to be close to you. I want to be able to talk with you about everything without feeling desire. We need to get rid of this because it is tormenting us. Even if I like Drew, I still think about you, and it isn’t healthy.”

“Shitty situation we are in, though...” He kissed my forehead.

I was so calm near him, as I listened to his heartbeat. I felt safe in his arms. A solution dawned on me. It wasn’t a great one, but I was sure that if I didn’t try this, I would regret it.

He was right about the reason why I came in here. I wanted to forget about Drew by being with Logan. Just like how I had done it with Chase. Maybe we could also move on from this attraction toward each other, just like Chase and I had.

For the sake of Melanie and our relationship? Because it was more like an obsession between Logan and me.

Though there were so many reasons why I shouldn’t even think about it or even say it out loud, I wanted to take the risk. The question was, would Logan be up for it?

I freed myself from Logan’s arms and sat up. My whole body was tense. I was full of determination. I silently thanked Mrs. Jones for her wine because it gave me courage.

However, I wasn't sure that she would have approved of my actions. Logan was silent, but I felt his gaze on me; he waited. With a deep breath, I turned and straddled his legs.

His hands involuntarily moved to my hips, steadying me.

“What are you doing, Becca?”

“I want to forget about Drew tonight.” His grip on my hips tightened.

“Okay…” He fell silent again. Logan knew that I wasn't finished.

“I also want to forget about my attraction to you, just as much as you want to forget about your feelings for me. We both want to be free from this.”

“And?” I saw his Adam's apple move up and down. He was nervous. Logan knew exactly where I was going with this conversation.

“What if we are attracted to each other because it is forbidden? You aren't single and…”

“Exactly, Becca. I am not single.” He emphasized every word.

“Tell me that this thought didn’t cross your mind. Tell me that, and I will leave.” I was tired of running away.

I wanted to feel his hands on my body, his lips on mine; I wanted to know what it was like to feel Logan Jones inside me. If he was against it, I would leave. I would do everything in my power to free myself from him.

Logan was silent. I bent down and kissed his lips, then his jaw and neck. His grip on my hips became almost painful. I moved lower, kissing his chest, then up again.

I reached for his earlobe, took it in my mouth, and sucked on it. Logan groaned. He was trying to be indifferent to my actions. But I already knew my power over him.

I was using his attraction to me and his argument with Melanie to my advantage. I wanted to be selfish tonight.

“Tell me, Logan... If you want me to stop, tell me,” I whispered to him.

“I can’t…”

“Then just for tonight, forget about everyone, forget about your commitments, and be with me. In the morning, we will forget about this, about us. We will act as if nothing happened. It will be our secret because if you want what you told me, to be with Melanie, it will be the best decision...

“But tonight... Be with me tonight, Logan.”

Every word I whispered, I accompanied with kisses. With the last sentence completed, I kissed his lips, then sat up straight and waited. The decision was on him. I was willing to go all the way. Just for tonight. What would Logan say?