A Last Farwell

Drew wasn't in his room, just like Logan told me. Everything inside reminded me of him. His bag was open and placed on the bed. The room was filled with his scent.

A little woody, tobacco, and some citrus. Hmm, what was his cologne? Fuck, Rebecca, seriously? Well, I'm here, what am I going to do while waiting?

I sat on the bed, but soon stood up and started pacing around the room. It had already been thirty minutes and Drew still hadn't come back. I was beginning to lose my patience.

I sat on the floor near his bed and pulled out my phone. I opened Instagram; after another thirty minutes, I got bored with it. I opened JustJared and read some celebrity gossip.

When it had already been an hour and a half, I got angry. He might not know that I was in his room, but he knew that I would come back today. And still, he didn't call me or anything.

I stood up from the floor and went to the door. When I opened it, I heard raised voices coming this way. Soon, I saw who it was.

Drew was beyond pissed, storming at full speed to his room, while Phoebe followed him, screaming at him. I froze in place. What was going on?

As soon as Drew saw me, he stopped in his tracks. His shoulders relaxed in an instant, and his lips stretched into a smile. I wasn't ready to smile back at him. I only raised my eyebrows in question.

Phoebe collided with Drew's back; she wasn't expecting him to stop so abruptly. Then she saw me. Her eyes were full of disgust.

“Jesus Christ, what are you doing here?!”

“I was waiting for Drew. What's with all the shouting?” I asked.

Drew stepped beside me and turned to face Phoebe. Her eyes ran from me to Drew and back.

“It has nothing to do with you.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Drew, we need to talk. You made a mistake with this girl, but I get it. I have eyes, and of course, I see how beautiful she is. But we were happy together, why do you want to throw that away?”

Oh, my God! She's insane. How could one girl be so pathetic? With all of my ups and downs, I never humiliated myself before any man.

Maybe I felt insecure about my body or my face, but I always had respect for myself. That's what matters.

“Fuck… Do you hear yourself, Phoebe?” Drew suddenly sounded exhausted.

“I told you the truth when I came with Becca to your hometown. All this time, when I was with you, I wanted to be with her. I am a womanizer, I slept with a lot of girls, and I never wanted to spend time with any of them after—more than I needed to.

“But with Becca, everything was different from the very beginning. Shit, I never had sex with anyone better than her. And we always have something to talk about, and we have similar tastes in music and movies…”

“How do you know that? You spent time with her, what? Three days at the lake? And suddenly decided that she’s the one for you?”

“I will go,” I said and took a step to the stairs. Immediately, Drew’s arm caught my elbow. I stopped and looked at him. “What? You need to talk to one another.”

“Drew, let her go. At least she’s wise enough to leave when it’s the right time.”

“Stop it, Phoebe. I see that you won’t leave me alone until I tell you the whole truth. The first time I slept with Becca was back in November. After that, I went to her every night after my practice. We sat in my car, talking about anything; we ate, we watched a movie, we had sex.

“I was drowning in her, and when I realized it, I became a coward. She left for home, and I hung out with you until I saw her at the party. Do you remember how I ditched you? You got so wasted that night. Shit! It was disgusting and so annoying.”

Phoebe clasped a hand to her mouth. His words rendered her speechless. She must feel hurt, but still, she stayed. She needed to hear it. So did I.

“I spent that night with her, and when I woke up without her in my arms... I felt lost. It was a very new feeling for me. I got dressed, bought some coffee, and barged into her room. I watched her while she was writing an essay, and it felt so good. Just to be near her.

“But then Logan’s sister came to the room and broke the spell. I thought that I needed to do something with this strange feeling that I had for Becca.

“I invited her and Lily to lunch, as I always did with girls after sex; I flirted with the waitress in front of Becca, just to prove to myself that she was nothing to me. While my insides were screaming at me that I needed to stop because I was hurting her.

“When she refused to get in my car and walked away from the café, it was the first time I got scared that I screwed up big. I waited for her, we talked. When she left, I realized that I liked her, too much. It was so sudden and so unexpected.

“When I first decided to sleep with her, it was like a competition for me. I knew that Logan had eyes for her, and Rebecca was into him too, so it pissed me off because I already wanted her. I knew for sure that he wouldn’t do anything because of Melanie. So I decided to make the first move…”

“Little did I know how it would turn out... This whole thing backfired on me.”

“But you came to me after that party…,” Phoebe said. “You had sex with her, spent the whole morning with her, and then had lunch in her company, but you came to me... Why?”

Phoebe was crying. I felt sorry for her, but I wanted to hear the rest of his story. It was important to me. I had been waiting for him to explain everything to me for too long.

“Because I am a coward. I am afraid of my emotions. I don’t know how to deal with them... My feelings for Becca were too overwhelming for me to handle, so I decided... I decided to choose you. It was easier. You must remember how I avoided spending time with you in public places at first...

“I was afraid to run into Becca... I didn’t want her to know about you and me. She avoided me after she found out about us. I hurt her, and it made me angry at myself. At you. Becca refused to even look at me, to talk to me when we arrived home for the winter break.

“When I realized that I could lose her... that’s what made me tell you the truth. I am sorry for doing it as I did it. You didn’t deserve it, and I am very, very sorry about that, Phoebe. But I won’t be with you. Never.”

Phoebe stood in front of us, sobbing, and her whole body trembled. I averted my eyes, knowing that in some way, I was the reason for her tears.

She tried to clean her face of her tears and looked at me.

“I... I hope... he won’t do this to you, because it hurts like hell. Now that I know that you weren’t the reason... You didn’t do anything to steal him away. This time... it was him.” She took a deep breath and turned her attention to Drew.

“You know, you said the right words now. If you really feel this way about Becca, I am happy for her. But don’t you dare screw this up! Especially after breaking my heart like that.”

She turned around and rushed down the stairs. We stood silently in the hallway, and then we heard the sound of the door downstairs slamming.