Unresolved Past

BECCA

“Of course,” I responded to Chase.

I moved my laptop to the side and saw as the door opened, and Chase walked inside. He had two beer bottles in his hands and a shy smile on his lips. I smiled at him.

“How are you, babe?” Chase sat near me on the bed, he handed me a bottle and I took it.

“Fine. Thanks to Jenny. She was my guide because I was lost again and she helped me to pick a perfect present for Lily and John.”

“Yeah, she told me. What about this Justin guy?”

“Oh God, Chase!” I laughed and glanced at him. Unfortunately, he was serious. I shook my head. “It was just an interview. He might be my chief editor if he were to choose me among other candidates. But for now, I don’t know anything for certain.”

“Jenny said you called him handsome.”

“Well, because he is. He is known among the publishing community. He is wealthy and single. He has the reputation of a playboy, so I know that if I work for him, I will need to be careful around him. And I will think about it; once I receive the offer.”

“He sounds just like Drew.”

“That’s not fair! He’s nothing like my college ex-boyfriend. Justin Wilson is a mature guy, and he radiates power and confidence.” I gulped down a good amount of beer. “And Chase, I have no desire to talk about him anymore. Maybe I saw him for the first and the last time today. I don’t...”

“Rebecca, relax. You are too timid. I know that you were hoping to find a job at the very first interview. Now you are nervous because it’s not how things are developing.

“I believe that I know you very well now, so I am sure that the idea of going to this particular wedding is scaring the shit out of you.”

“I am dying from two very different feelings. I want to go there and celebrate the wedding of a person that is very important to me. But, I also don’t want to go there, because I will certainly see people I had no desire to ever see again in my life.”

“Babe, I am sorry. But you are a very strong girl. I know you. You went through a lot of shit, but you didn’t break, you stayed true to yourself. And believe me, all of us, who are close to you, admire you for that. Try to focus on the bright side of this. You will see Lily and Kate with Tim.”

I knew that he was right. But I had a similar experience when I went to Kate and Tim’s wedding. It did not go so well. I was furious at myself because I let my guard down. I don’t want to repeat that situation. No matter what.

“Chase, I am so happy to have you and Jenny by my side. Thank you for all the love and support you are giving me. As soon as I find a job, I will find my own place to stay.”

“I love you, baby girl. But stop talking bullshit. You don’t have to move out that soon. You are welcome here.”

“You know, we girls, we love gossiping. And I know that you want to have a baby.”

“Jenny…” He laughed heartily.

“Uh huh. Right now, I am not bothering you. But maybe very soon, Jenny will be pregnant, and it will be a wise decision for me to leave you two alone.”

“You know, pregnancy is not something that happens just by a wish.”

“I know.” I placed my bottle on the floor and leaned to hug Chase. “I love you, Chase. You’re like a combination of a big brother and best friend in one person. I have no idea how I would have been able to cope with everything in my life if I hadn’t met you.”

Chase hugged me and kissed the top of my head before standing up from the bed. He went to the door and stopped, leaning on the door frame.

“Is famous Logan Jones planning to come to the wedding?”

“Dunno. But the bride is his little sister, so I'm sure he will find the time.”

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“At Tim and Kate’s wedding. The Philadelphia Eagles just drafted him.”

“He’s fucking amazing. His stats over the past two years… Damn! And let’s not forget about his parade of hot girlfriends. He’s mostly dating models, right?”

“What the fuck would I know about that?” I stared at Chase. My smile faded away.

“You’re such a bad liar sometimes. Logan was your best friend. And let’s not forget that you were always attracted to each other.”

“First. Yes, he was my best friend. Was. Not is. The last time I talked to him was at the wedding four years ago.

“Second. He helped me a lot. But he was Drew’s best friend since they were toddlers. He chose him. Not me. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Why did you need to ruin my good mood?”

“I want you to think about your past and find peace with it. Because until you are able to let go of the situation, you won’t be happy. If only you had already done that, you would be able to go to this wedding, holding your head high.”

“You’re an amazing woman. After Drew, you were in two very happy relationships. Your boyfriends worshipped you, and they loved you.”

“But none of them wanted to stay with me.”

“Rebecca, that is ridiculous. For example, your last relationship with Cody.”

“What about him?” I folded my arms across my chest.

“He wanted to marry you. You know that. I know that. He was planning to propose to you until you gave him that nonsense that your life in Miami was far from what you hoped it would be when you moved there. And you talked about it for months.”

“The poor guy realized that you and he didn’t see your future the same way. That’s why you broke up. That’s why I almost forced you to move to New York. You needed a change of scenery. Rebecca, start living again. You’re a mere shadow of your past self.”

With that, he closed the door behind him and left me alone. I was lost in my thoughts. What he said was cruel. What he said wasn’t pleasant. But, unfortunately for me, he spoke the truth.

I might have married Cody. I loved the guy, but like always, it wasn’t enough. He was a writer and very promising. We had a lot in common, we were good in bed, and we understood each other perfectly. But he had this plan for his life, which he made when he was graduating from school.

He followed every step, without giving some of his ideas a second thought. He wanted to find a girl for a serious relationship at 23 years old, and he met me. He wanted to start living together at 24, and we did that. In a year, he wanted to propose to me.

At first, I found this very funny and went along with it. But with time, I became more and more annoyed by it. So when he told me that we needed to get married no later than when we both turned 26, I cracked.

I told him everything that was buried deep down in my head. That I didn’t feel satisfied with my life in Miami, that I wanted more from my job. We tried to talk, to discuss things thoroughly. Nothing helped and we broke up.

I didn’t want to talk about it with Mom or Dad. They both liked Cody. I especially didn’t want to talk about it with Kate. She was dreaming about coming to my wedding, and I just ruined her plans.

I wanted to talk to someone who wouldn’t judge me, so I called Chase. The outcome of that talk was that now I was living with him and Jenny. I was hoping to find a job and myself because I was lost and had been for a very long time.

I stood up from my bed and walked to the mirror. Yeah, I looked beautiful. My body was always like a guitar, but now even more impressive than it was when I was back in college.

I guess my life in Miami did the trick, and I had round hips, but very long and thin legs. I had toned abs and round boobs.

A few times, I even participated in photoshoots as a fitness model. Tanned skin and a straight nose with full lips. I heard people calling me gorgeous. But when I looked at myself, I knew only one thing. My emerald eyes were emotionless, and I saw the tiredness in them.

Shit! Chase was totally right. As always.

I didn't look like the happy and cheerful Rebecca. I looked like a person who had seen better days in her life. Not surprisingly, now that I hadn't received any job offers.

They all needed people with fire in their eyes, who would enjoy their work, while I looked as if I didn't enjoy my own life at all. I needed to get a grip on myself. I needed to do it in one week.

I was scheduled to go to my hometown on Wednesday. I would stay with my parents for one day. Then I would go to Lily's hometown. The wedding was planned for Saturday, but Lily asked me to come on Thursday.

I promised to stay a little longer after the wedding, that way I could spend time with Kate and Tim. I missed them both. I wanted to go back on Thursday. A week after my arrival.

For now, I could only hope that everything would go according to plan, and I would be able to stay away from the two people I was dreading to see.

Drew Milton and Logan Jones.

The first one, because he broke my heart, and our relationship ended with a huge bang. Yeah, I was able to talk with him, and we even parted ways on a good note, but it was a long time ago. I had no idea what was on his mind now.

The second one, because he chose Drew over me and now was just a famous quarterback, who I knew in my past. Ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend. That’s who they were for me and would be forever.