Comfort

BECCA

“Let’s go,” I felt Logan’s hand on the small of my back. He pushed me to go, and I followed. I felt numb, like all of my emotions were turned off.

We walked inside the house, and Logan took my hand in his. He almost dragged me upstairs. He only stopped near the door to his room. He opened it, and we stepped inside. I had no idea what I was doing here. I just wanted to fall asleep, as if it could have miraculously helped me.

“Rebecca, you can use my bathroom.”

Logan let go of my hand and walked to his bed. He placed my backpack on the stool near the computer desk. I was rooted to the spot, following his every movement.

When he opened his wardrobe, I realized that he was going to change. I had seen him naked before, but right now, that possibility scared me, so I just rushed to the bathroom.

I took a shower before I left my home, so now, I just washed my face and stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy, and on my face were red strains. I was a fucking beauty queen now!

I fixed my one-sided braid and returned to Logan’s room. He wasn’t there, so I used this opportunity and changed into the clothes that I brought with me - blue shorts and a loose white t-shirt. As I finished, I walked to the window and stared outside. All of this was so surreal!

The door opened, and Logan walked inside, holding a plate with sandwiches and two beer bottles in his hands. He closed the door, using his leg, and went straight to the bed. I observed him.

He changed into a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. His physique had become even more impressive, but why was I surprised by that? He was a professional quarterback for one of the NFL teams. He practiced almost daily, and damn, it only added to his appeal.

Then I looked down at his right arm, and my jaw dropped. His whole sleeve was covered in tattoos.

“When did you do that?” I sat beside him on the bed and placed my palm on his hand, running my fingers up and down his tattoos. The drawings were connected with some abstraction. In the dim light of the room, it looked like Malaysian tattoos.

“It took a while. But I started as soon as I moved from my hometown. It’s finished now. Do you like it?”

“Absolutely. I find tattoos incredibly sexy. I have also noticed that when a guy has a tattoo on his neck, I just can’t help but ogle it.”

“Noted.” Logan handed me a bottle, and I took it without hesitation.

“How come you're home? Where is Lily? Your parents?”

“I have a week off. My family went to visit my grandparents and will be home tomorrow evening. I came one day early, and it wasn’t planned. That’s why I am here alone.”

“I see…”

“Rebecca, what are you even doing in our hometown? I talked to Drew, and he said that you would get here tomorrow. He was preparing some surprise for you…”

“Yeah, he was good with his promises. His surprise almost knocked me over.” I gulped down a good amount of beer in one go.

“I am sorry about that, Becca. I would love to say something to you that will make this easier for you. But I can’t…”

“It’s not your fault. It’s Drew, who can’t control his urges.” I sighed, trying to hold back my tears. I breathed in and out with my eyes closed. I felt weak, and I hated that feeling.

“He’s a fucking moron. He loves you, I know it, Becca. But I don’t even know what happened tonight. Have you seen this girl before?”

“No. She’s a brunette with a very nice body. That’s all I saw, and how she kissed him.”

“Why were you at his house?”

“I was supposed to come tomorrow. But Kate suggested coming tonight so that we could surprise our boyfriends. I dropped her off at Tim’s place. As far as I knew, he was at home and alone.”

“I will talk to Drew. He will be begging for your forgiveness. You’re too important for him to blow your relationship like that.”

“I am not so sure that I want that. Really.”

I took a bite of my sandwich. Logan took my hint and started eating his. I knew that he was watching me. He was ready to calm me down, to hold me in his arms. All I needed to do was just say it.

But I couldn’t. I didn’t want anyone to touch me. Or to say words that wouldn’t mean anything. I heard a lot from Drew. His promises, his declarations of love, his plans for our future. How much of that was a lie?

We finished our food and drinks at the same time. I glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was almost midnight. Drew didn’t call back, not me or Logan. Was I seriously thinking otherwise? He was able to make love for hours. Shit! These thoughts weren’t helping!

Logan stood up from the bed, took our leftovers, and left the room. I took my phone and silenced it. When Drew saw my unanswered calls, he would try to reach me. For now, I wasn’t ready to hear anything from him. When Logan returned to his room, he had another blanket in his arms.

“Well, babe, I would love to suggest that you sleep in one of our guest rooms, but they’re not in the right state. So, you stay here while I am going to sleep in Lily’s room.”

“Can you… Can you stay with me?” I said it in a low voice, not so sure that it was a good idea.

“Rebecca…” Logan sighed and leaned his back on the doorframe.

“Logan, listen, I am not asking you to stay with me, because I want to have sex with you to get my revenge on Drew. It wouldn’t be fair to you, and I don’t want to ruin my friendship with you.

“Chase and you are my best friends and sleeping with either of you… It feels wrong. I am just… I am afraid of staying alone.”

I saw as Logan closed his eyes. I was watching him very closely. I could sense that he was battling in his head over his decision. I knew him too well.

He opened his eyes and walked to the bed. I hid under the blanket, moving to the right side of the bed. Logan plopped himself down near me on the left side. He didn’t take his clothes off, and he didn’t use the second blanket. He just lay near me on the blanket and stared at me.

“Thank you, Logan.”

“You said, Chase. Are you still talking to him?”

“Yes, why not? He’s my friend. He always knows what to say to me. How to cheer me up. Chase has lived in New York for almost two years, and he is always asking me to come... I was reluctant at first, but now…”

“What?”

“Chase invited me to come to visit him... I didn’t want Drew to get upset over it, so I refused.”

“Don’t tell me that you are considering going to New York? To this Chase guy?”

“I am thinking about visiting my friend. I slept with him once. Just once. From that day and until now, he is just my friend.”

“But what if he wants more?”

“God! You sound like your best friend. We had a lot of arguments because of my talks and messages with Chase.”

“Forgive me, Rebecca, but I think that Drew is right on this one. You’re gorgeous and hot as hell. I am sure that this man from New York would be happy to lure you into his bed.”

“Logan…” I closed my eyes. What I said was the truth, Chase was a constant reason for my arguments with Drew. He didn’t want to know Chase; he didn’t want to meet him. He was jealous, especially as I could have talked with Chase for a few hours a few times a week.

“Rebecca, I am sorry.” I opened my eyes instantly because I felt Logan’s palm on my cheek. “Am I right, that now you are thinking about going to New York on your winter break?”

“It’s possible. I will call Chase tomorrow.”

“Don’t do this. You will have the opportunity to save your relationship with Drew. Give him a chance to explain.”

“Logan, he knew about my past. About my previous relationship, when my high school boyfriend cheated on me with a lot of girls. And yet, as soon as I was out of his reach for one month, he cheated on me. It’s not like relationships work.”

“Becca…”

“No. Let’s stop. I want to sleep; maybe I will forget about everything at least for a few hours.”

“Okay.” Logan took his palm off my cheek, and I sighed in relief. His touch was too tender, too intimate. This closeness reminded me of my one and only night with Logan. My eyes snapped open and widened a fraction.

“Logan?” I called out his name and bit my lower lip. I saw as he opened his eyes again and stared at me. Damn, his eyes were my weakness. They were my favorite part of Logan, and I could stare at him all day long.

“Yeah?” He smiled at me.

“Karma is a bitch.”

“Meaning?”

“Two years ago, around this time of the year, I came to your room and seduced you. You cheated on your girlfriend with me. Now it’s my turn to suffer. I made a mistake, and now I am paying for it. For all the tears and pain…”

“Rebecca! No. Stop the pity party! There are always two people to blame when it comes to cheating. You’re an amazing woman. You are smart, funny, and kind. You are so damn beautiful, I can’t even find the right words to describe your beauty.

“Whether you stay with Drew or find another guy, even Chase—it’s all up to you. I am sure of one thing. You will be happy! I will make sure of it. You’re my best friend, and I will always be here for you. Always. Do you hear me?”

My eyes welled up with tears. He was too good. Too perfect. I had this urge to hug him, hiding my face in his chest. I wanted to smell his familiar scent and to lose myself in his arms.

But I knew for sure, I would be an idiot if I ruined this friendship. Logan Jones, just like Chase, was my best friend. He was an essential part of my past and my future. He was my rock throughout this nightmare and will be if I ask him.

I leaned towards Logan, and I saw as his eyes moved from my eyes to my mouth. I noticed as he pinched his lips. He was upset with my behavior. But I only pressed my lips to his cheek and a second later, pulled away from him.

“Goodnight, Logan.”

“Goodnight, Rebecca.”