Revelations

I woke up with a massive headache in the morning. The cocktails hadn’t gone unnoticed by my body. Although I was awake, I stayed still in my bed for several minutes, reflecting on yesterday’s events.

What Logan and I almost did was a mistake. If anyone found out about it, I would be in big trouble. So, first things first, I needed to keep my distance from Logan Jones and his fraternity house.

Sadness filled my heart. Why did he do this? Lily told me that he wouldn’t cheat on his girlfriend and that he never liked girls our age, but still… He proved the opposite yesterday.

Logan and Mel had sex, then he left his room and came straight to me.

Maybe he was worried that I would be a bad influence on his sister, based on the way I acted at the party, so he only wanted to talk to me. Could that be it? Then why did he kiss me?

Ugh, I feel so stupid!

So many questions and I didn’t have the answer to any of them. I wouldn’t ignore him, but I will do my best not to run into him around campus. It would be better this way.

I hadn’t slept with anyone after Adam dumped me. Maybe that was why I had wanted so badly to have sex with Logan. Now I only felt anger. He was an asshole!

He cheated on his girlfriend with me... Realization of this fact hit me hard, and I lay in my bed with my eyes wide open. How did I let this happen?

I'd been cheated on before, and I knew how painful it was to find out that your boyfriend was unfaithful to you. Now I was that girl with whom the guy cheated on his girlfriend. Anger overtook me.

I was ready to go back to the fraternity house and give him a piece of my mind.

“Hey, Becca. When did you come back last night?” Lily looked at me from her bed. She was sitting there with a book on her lap. It looked like she was waiting for me to wake up. I blinked and looked at Kate's arm on my belly; she was still asleep.

“Hey. I honestly don't know. Both of you were already asleep.”

“Could you please stop talking? I was trying to sleep a little longer!” Kate groaned but rolled over and sat up in my bed.

“When you are ready, could we go get breakfast? I am pretty hungry already,” Lily said.

“Give me fifteen minutes to have a shower and get dressed, and I will be ready to go. I desperately need pancakes and coffee,” I said and jumped up from the bed.

“Well, I need more than fifteen minutes. Maybe twenty-five?” Kate also got up from the bed and was now stretching beside me.

“Okay, how about twenty? I was up earlier than you, and I am starving now.” Lily smiled at us. Kate and I nodded and left the room.

In thirty minutes, we sat at William’s Diner near the college, waiting for our orders to come. I massaged my temples, my hair braided in two Danish pigtails.

“So… not to bring up the elephant in the room, but Becca, what happened yesterday? Where did you go? You told us that you would go for a drink, and it was the last time we saw you at all,” Lily said.

“Listen…,” I began. “You wanted to spend time with your brother and his friends. And you,” I said, turning to Kate, “wanted to see Tim, who happened to be a friend of Lily’s brother. I just… I felt like the third wheel, and I decided to have fun on my own.

“After a few drinks, I started dancing. I kissed two boys but then pushed them away. When I felt that I had enough, I walked home and found both of you already sleeping.”

“But,” Lily said, confused, “Logan was nice to you when he was helping me settle in yesterday. He even asked us where you went for so long, twice actually.”

“He left the room for drinks, and when he came back, he said that he saw you and you were okay, but said you disappeared from his view when he was on his way back. My brother is a good person, and he cares about my friends. I just don’t get it, honestly…”

~Yeah, fuck my ass. He cares, does he? Bullshit!~

“Come to think about it, Lily, Drew said some weird stuff yesterday,” Kate interjected. After your brother asked us the second time where Becca went, and he came back with drinks, telling us that he saw her. Do you remember?”

“Yeah… Drew said that Logan was unusually interested in what Becca was doing,” Lily said. “He mentioned some Matthews guy, but Logan shut him up. What was that, Becca? Do you know what they were talking about?”

“No idea.” I wasn't going to spill my guts to them.

“Ha, the funniest thing was the reaction of your brother’s girlfriend! She didn’t like what she heard about Becca.”

“Totally! But she dragged him out of the room soon enough. I am sure she wanted to prove to us that she’s the one for him. Like we needed a reminder… The way they were kissing and touching… ewww.

“Maybe if we weren’t there, he might have slept with her right in that room. My brother is such a moron.”

“I need to use the bathroom.” I got up and rushed away from our table.

I ran into the bathroom stall just in time as my stomach emptied itself of its contents. After a few minutes, my stomach was empty, and I was left with a sore throat.

Our conversation just now had confirmed my worst thoughts. Logan had slept with his girlfriend before—AND after—he kissed and caressed me in the bathroom. I felt not only sad and angry. I felt stupid, numb, and empty. How did I let that happen? What the fuck is wrong with me?

I washed my face and stood there, looking at myself in the mirror. I needed this moment to calm my nerves. Why did I act like that in Logan’s presence? Why did he do that to me? Fuck!

I hated him for giving me these confusing thoughts! But I decided right here, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing his power over me.

What I felt for him from the first second our eyes met was an inexplicable desire and need to be near him. I’d never felt like that before. And I was furious at him only because of that.

I think the best option for me was 'out of sight and out of mind.' Because even now, I didn’t know for sure what I wanted more. For him to kiss and sleep with me, or for me to slap his face and run away.

I stepped out of the bathroom and had only taken a few steps in the direction of our table when I stopped in my tracks.

Logan, Melanie, Drew, and the redheaded girl from yesterday stood beside our table. Lily and Kate were chatting with them. My first thought was to run away from here. Like I was scared.

But the grumble of my belly reminded me that I needed to eat. Fuck! I guess it was time for me to put on my big-girl pants and face my problems with my head held high.

I walked to the table and sat beside Kate this time since she was nearer.

“Hey, is everything okay? You rushed to the bathroom at a crazy speed,” Kate whispered in my ear. I nodded.

“Are you always that rude?” I heard the male mocking voice and realized that the question was addressed to me.

“Only when I want to be. Why?” I turned and looked at Drew. He was enjoying my discomfort—another stunning asshole.

“Well, at least you could say ‘hey.’ It’s just a question of your manners.” His grin was wide, and his eyes roamed over my body like I was a snack. I smirked back at him. Yeah, he’s gorgeous, but no, thank you. Never.

“Drew, some girls just don’t have it in them. They need to be educated, but as we see now, even then, it’s not enough,” Melanie's words were like venom. What the fuck? I had never even talked to her before! Shit, she just saw me for the second time in her life!

“Do you have a problem with me?” I looked her right in the eyes.

“Nope. I don’t deal with girls like you. You aren't worth my time, or the time of my friends,”

she spat, and turned to look at her boyfriend. Logan stood there with his hand on her shoulders. He hadn’t said a word in my defense. His bitch was insulting me, and he was silent.

~Message received, very clear.~

“Honey, you wanted to say hi to your sister. We did it. I want to eat my breakfast in a relaxed atmosphere. I need energy after our passionate night. I guess you did miss me.” Melanie traced her finger over his chest. For the second time this morning, I felt the need to vomit.

“Of course. Let’s go. I will see you tomorrow, Lily. Bye,” Logan answered, his expression inscrutable. They started to walk away from our table.

“Do you really think that it’s okay for her to talk to my friend like that?” Lily’s voice was full of anger. She looked at her brother with furrowed eyebrows.