Conflicting Attractions

Logan stopped in his tracks, untangled himself from Melanie’s grip, and returned to us.

Drew placed a hand on the small of Melanie’s back and his other one on the small of his girl’s back and walked them away from us.

“Lil, drop it. You know Melanie. She’s always like that,” he looked at his sister pleadingly; it was obvious he was uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I am aware that your beloved girlfriend is a bitch. But today, she just reached the next level of animosity.”

“It’s okay, Lily,” I said. “You know what? I don’t feel well. I’ll go back to our room. See you both later?” I got up and tried to walk away. Logan caught my arm and stopped me. Definitely, now, I had the strong feeling that I wanted to slap him.

“Stay. I will go,” he said. I refused to look at him and yanked my arm from his grip. Without any word, I sat back at the table.

“Where are my pancakes? I ordered them a long time ago,” I said, trying to change the subject.

Neither Lily nor Kate had said a word since the little exchange between Logan and me. Lily only looked at her brother, and after a minute, I heard Melanie’s voice. So, Logan returned to her. Kate was studying me.

I smiled at her, and finally, the waitress came with our orders. We ate in silence and left the diner shortly after we finished.

In the car, we chatted about some silly stuff just to fill the atmosphere. I thought back to the brief encounter with Logan. He was so damn confusing!

I couldn’t deal with all of this, with the emotions he was stirring in me. I needed to stay focused on my studies. I guessed that in the end, my only option would be to ignore him.

It would save my heart and my mind. I would be a good friend to Lily, but not to her big brother.

He hadn’t stopped Melanie from harassing me. He hadn’t told her that she was wrong.

But maybe, his silence made perfect sense. Maybe, it was because he felt some attraction toward me and he felt guilty about it.

Of course, if he wasn’t attracted to me, he wouldn’t have come on to me in the bathroom as he had last night. But she was his girlfriend. He loved her. So I needed to let it go.

And I did.

***

If I said that I didn’t know or hear anything about Logan and his friends, I would be lying. He was everywhere, and so were his closest friends—Drew Milton and Tim Wallace.

They all played football; they were all stars of the team and the public’s favorites. Logan was known as a kind and loyal guy; he was smart and had good grades. Also, he was always with Melanie.

Some girls tried to break them apart, but they weren’t successful. He never cheated. Until me, I guess. It didn’t make me feel special. I felt dirty and hurt.

Drew, on the other hand, was a player. He didn’t date anyone, but I heard rumors that he had a new girl at every party. He had the reputation of being a womanizer and was perfectly fine with it.

Girls loved him. They wanted to sleep with him, even if it meant only a one-night stand. I overheard one girl’s talk with her friends; she called Drew the God of Sex.

Maybe, but I didn’t intend to find out for myself. He might be beautiful and hot, but I wanted a relationship in the future and not a one-time fling.

Tim was a mystery to me. He was known as a smart and witty guy; sometimes, he looked like a jester among his friends. But he got Kate hooked, and I wanted to know him better.

I hadn’t had the chance to get introduced to him yet, but he was the only one of this trinity with whom I wanted to make friends.

My first two months in college were a total whirlwind. I studied harder than I ever had before. Everything was new to me, but at the same time, I was excited to learn more.

Studying English literature was my number one priority when I first thought about going to college. And so, I made it my top priority while I was there.

I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I graduated, but I still enjoyed being there and gaining new knowledge.

I was busy with my studies, so I didn’t have much time to think about Logan Jones and any drama surrounding him.

Surprisingly, it was easy to avoid running into him on campus. Of course, I would see him and his friends in the hallways, but I made sure to stay out of their sight. That’s what mattered to me.

We were taking different courses with different majors, but he happened to be my roommate’s brother.

During this time, Lily, Kate, and I became close.

I explained to Lily that after what Melanie had said about me, I felt uncomfortable around her and Logan. She seemed to understand, so she always gave me a heads up when he wanted to see her.

I was out of our room at those times and started to feel more and more at peace. I didn’t want to pretend around him, so it was more comfortable this way.

I guess it was like that for both of us after our moment at the fraternity house.

Lily and Kate went to several parties, but I never joined them. I made excuses; they tried to persuade me, but eventually, they gave up. When they were at the parties, I stayed in Kate’s room.

Her roommate, Nina, was a really nice and smart girl. She was nerdy but in a cute way. I liked her, and I guess because of me, she and Kate were able to find common ground.

My life was getting back on track, and I was happy about it. Those first three days took too much from me. I was scared because I’d never before felt something so strong with a guy I’d only just met.

I didn’t like the feeling, but I was aware that it was still there. I needed to remember that Logan was in a relationship with Melanie.

I didn’t even understand what it was between us and, especially, what I was to him. I reminded myself of this over and over again. It was working.

Because when one of my classmates, a guy named Rob, approached me and started chatting with me, I got the feeling that I enjoyed his attention. A short time after that, he became my study partner.

Rob was a sweet, kind, and trustworthy guy. I liked being with him, having the opportunity to talk to a cute guy without feeling intimidated by his presence.

He wasn’t confusing, and he gave me much-needed comfort. So when he invited me to have dinner with him, I agreed without hesitation. Rob was exactly what I needed, for now.

After our second date, we kissed. It was good. It didn’t leave me speechless or give me any tingles. But I convinced myself that it was what I wanted and, most importantly, needed.

Kate told me that Rob was annoying. I argued with her a lot about it, so she just dropped the subject and I was grateful for that.

The time grew nearer to the first game of the season, the first home game actually. Everyone was talking about it and their expectations for our star quarterback and his squad.

Ugh, those days, Logan was everywhere, but I was happy that I was still managing to avoid him.

A party at the fraternity house was announced to be the last before the game. The game was scheduled for next Saturday. In the meantime, the next party was already planned for after our team’s win.

That our team would win wasn’t even up for discussion; it was taken for a sure thing.

At the end of the second month of school, I had been together with Rob for almost three weeks, so I started thinking that it was time to take our relationship to the next level.

I wanted to have sex, but still, I hesitated. Even when Kate and Lily went to the fraternity house for this 'last party before the game' party, Rob and I only got as far as petting. I didn't let things go further with him. Now, he was snoring right beside me in my bed, while I lay wide awake.

I started to think that my relationship with Rob was a huge mistake. He was a good friend to me, but an absolutely unsuitable boyfriend. We didn't click.

Hell, I clicked with Logan the first second our eyes met. Why did I need to think about that asshole at a time like this? Shit, it was because he was still there, in my mind, and my thoughts.

I glanced at my bedside table; it was already 2 a.m. Fuck! I hadn't gotten any sleep at all, and right now, I needed to wake Rob up.

The girls would probably be back around 4 a.m., so I wanted him out before they returned.

“Hey Rob... open your eyes. You need to get going already.” I nudged his shoulder lightly.

“Becca... I want to stay.” Rob groaned and tried to kiss me. I rolled off the bed and stood there only in my panties.

“Seriously, move. I warned you about it. Lily and Kate always stay in this room, and they will come back from this stupid party. And soon.”

I put on my jean shorts and a white T-shirt. Since it was the middle of the night, I didn’t care what I was wearing.

“Fine.”

He was angry. I was thinking about what to do with our relationship. He was my friend, and I didn’t want to lose him. In a few minutes, I walked him out of our dormitory.

Since most of the people were at the party, I was able to sneak him in and out without a problem. I stayed with him for a little longer. He pressed me against his car, and we kissed.

He tried to ignite passion in me, but I felt numb. I responded to his caresses with laziness. I felt sick to my stomach because I was disgusted with myself.

Using my peripheral vision, I saw a big car pulling into our parking lot. It was a dark-colored SUV, but I couldn’t see the car brand or the driver because it was dark.

The SUV parked right beside Rob’s car and came to a stop. Rob stepped away from me, looking at the vehicle.

“What is he doing here?” He sounded surprised and annoyed at the same time.

“Who?” I asked because I honestly didn’t know.

I turned around to look at the car more carefully. Before Rob had time to answer, the driver’s door opened, and Logan Jones jumped out. He wore a frown on his face and was looking straight at us.