Walk Home
Caught Up in Between
BECCA
The next morning, I woke up wrapped in Loganâs arms. Yep, the final confirmation that he was a keeper. But this time, I was prepared for it. I rubbed myself against his chest, wiggling my ass a little before I felt a light kiss on my shoulder.
âYouâre a naughty girl, Becca. And itâs not fair because I didn't have time yesterday to buy condoms.â
âPoor you,â I murmured under my breath. The next thing I knew, Logan started tickling me. I was laughing, wiggling, and turning, trying to free myself from his embrace. Itâs not hard to guess that I wasnât successful. âI... canât... breathe... Logan... Please...â
Suddenly, Logan stopped and pulled away from me. I tried to catch my breath, while the understanding that something was bothering him didnât go unnoticed.
I sat on the bed and turned to look at him. He was sitting with his back turned to me. I moved closer, wrapping my arms around his back and pressing myself against him.
âHey, whatâs wrong?â I whispered.
âYou said exactly the same words as you said to me years ago. When I had just broken up with Melanie, and you were comforting me in Drewâs room. I kissed you while you were with him. I knew that you were his and couldnât resist it. I betrayed his trust, and I am doing it again right now.â
âLogan, itâs not like thatâ¦â
âBecca, how can you not understand it?! Drew is my best friend. He was, and he is! And you were with him.â
âI told you this already. I always knew that Iâ¦â
âRebecca, I want you to go to dinner with Drew⦠And consider it a date.â I flinched away from him. It was too much. I pushed the blanket away and jumped out of bed. Where were my damn clothes?! âBecca, what are you doing?â
âI promised to be at Kateâs place this morning. I am going to her house. I have no desire to listen to this bullshit!â I put on my t-shirt and wanted to put my jeans back on when I felt myself lifted into the air. Logan took me in his arms and held me close to his chest. âPut me down!â
âNo.â I pressed my arms to his chest and tried to push him away.
âLogan, I am serious! Put me down!â
âNot until you listen to me. I am putting much more at risk here, and I am willing to do that!â
We stared at each other. I was in my t-shirt and panties only, while he was only in his briefs. I frowned, scrutinizing his appearance. Logan looked serious, without any hint of the happy or mischievous Logan that had been here a few moments ago.
âIf I put you back on the bed, will you promise me that you will stay and listen to me?â His tone of voice was so strange. He wasnât asking; he was almost begging me.
I didnât like seeing him like that. I nodded, and in a few steps, Logan was near the bed. He placed me down and stayed rooted to the spot.
âCome hereâ¦â I extended my hand to him, but he only shook his head and stepped back. My heart tightened in my chest. âLogan?â
âBecca, listen, I want you to understand that I am not pushing you away. I donât have second thoughts either. I know what I want. I want to be with you. I want to be able to call you mine. I want to take care of you. To love you. To be someone who you can trust completely. But so does Drewâ¦â
Logan ran his hand through his hair while staring off into the distance.
âI am his best friend. You were, and you are the only girl who was able to make him fall for you. It was like that, and itâs still the same.â
âSo, are we close to the topic âthe exes are off-limitsâ?â I folded my hands over my chest. I was angry. I was confused. I had no idea where this conversation was going.
âHonestly? The most obvious answer is yes. I shouldnât be with you. Itâs against all rules and morality⦠Itâs really hard for me, Rebecca. I know that I love you and I have known that for a very long time, but I know that my best friend also loves you.â
Logan came closer to the bed and sat down on the farthest corner. He hid his face in his hands.
âSince the moment I realized my feelings for you, I was always trying to hide it, telling myself that I have no right to tell you about it. Because you were Drewâs and you were happy together. Even at the lake⦠Do you think that my jealousy toward Chase was the only reason why I stepped aside?â
âI am not stupid, Logan. I figured that it had something to do with Drew as well.â
âYeah⦠He was hoping to earn your forgiveness and that you would want to be with him again. I thought that he deserved his second chance. That you two deserved a second chance to love.â
âBut it wasnât that easy⦠Yes, while he was making love to me, I even wondered why I refused to give him another chanceâ¦â
I saw Loganâs shoulders flinch.
âThe answer was so simple, Logan... I couldn't trust him. I was going to go work in Miami, no matter what. The long-distance relationship would have been pure torture for both of us.â
âBecca, I had an advantage... I had a chance to meet you and to spend a few days with you, while Drew wasn't in town. I want to give him that opportunity too. I want to give him a chance to remind you what it means for you to be with him.â
âYou're suggesting I sleep with him? That I make out with him?â
âIf you feel like it.â
âLogan Jones, I am so fucking angry with you right now! We decided that we want to try to be together. Now, you're saying that I should go on a date with another man and if I wantedâI could kiss him or even have sex with him?!â
âYes, Rebecca. That's exactly what I want.â He straightened up and turned to look me in the eyes.
âI love you, Becca. I want you to be happy. That's why I want you to go on a date with Drew, without looking back at me or our possible relationship. Just have fun, spend some time with him. Give him a chance to show you the man he is right now.â
I bit my lower lip in annoyance. Truth to be told, I knew why he was doing it. I could understand it, but itâs so strange. I just spent the night with him. We were kissing, making love to each other, confessing our feelings.
Now, I need to forget about it and go on a date with Drew? What a shitty situation!
âRebecca⦠I think that itâs the right thing to do. If, after this date, you still want to be with me, I will be the happiest guy on the earth. But if not⦠Itâs better if it will be over now than we will start this relationship and fail and hurt Drew in the meantime for nothing.â
Without saying anything, I got up and went to get my jeans from the floor. I put them on and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and tried to comb my hair with my fingers. I was trying to calm down, tugging on it and staring at my reflection in the mirror.
I couldnât even realize how frantically I was pulling on my hair until I felt Loganâs hands on my wrists. I shifted my gaze and locked my eyes in the reflection with his.
âBabe, stop⦠I know that I am putting so much pressure on you. That itâs making you feel uncomfortable. I know all that. But please, do this for me. Or do it for you. Who knows, maybe you and I being together is just a spur of the moment thingâ¦
âThe atmosphere of the wedding, this attraction that you and I have always had⦠What you had with Drew was different, deeper, and you were so happy with him!â
I pulled my wrists from his grip and turned around. What was I feeling right now? Anger. Thatâs for sure. Frustration. Because he was so damn confusing! Most of all, he doubted me and my feelings! What the hell is wrong with him?!
âWould you please step aside? I want to go to Kateâs.â
âBecca, donât do this. We could have breakfast together.â
âI am not hungry.â
We stared at each other. I wasnât going to let myself be charmed by him. Not now. I had had enough this time.
Why should I bother if he was deliberately pushing me into Drewâs arms? Logan cursed but stepped back from me. I strode past him to the room exit and opened the door without even glancing in his direction.
âWill I call you tomorrow?â
âWhatever,â I said and closed the door behind me. I was lucky enough not to walk into anyone from Jonesâ family. I needed time to think.