Chapter 81

Chapter 81

“You knew what she was?” Hayes asks Leandra, looking angry. She looks up, blinking at him in a near catatonic state before she seems to come back to the real world.

“No…” she whispers. “I just…she always felt like fire…”

“That is what Percy wrote on the mirror.” I recall looking back at Caspian. “When he was fighting for control. When we asked him about it later, we all just assumed he was warning us about the dragons, but if the only species he knew to be fire was dragons….then he couldn’t assume it to be anything else but them.”

Caspian muses quietly, his thumb under his chin and his index finger folded over his lips.

“You hate me.” Leandra whispers, and I look over at Hayes, who doesn’t respond.

Instead, his knuckles grow white as he squeezes the steering wheel and adjusts how he is sitting. He is being a stubborn jackass. Just as blinded by the mate bond as I was with Colette. It’s amazing how a gift can feel like pressure to accept something you aren’t sure you want.

“No,” I answer for him. “There is just a lot at stake right now, Leandra. He is the beta, his job is to protect me and our pack at all costs. That includes focusing all energy on finding our luna.”

“I have already offered a viable option to help.” She reminds me, her eyes watching the back of Hayes‘ head.

“One we will revisit, but if I want her back safely, we need to have all the pieces. Not just fragmented memories from a lycan who was possessed.” I explain as quickly and as nicely as I can. She nods, but I see the way her lips quiver as she looks out the window, wiping at her face as her hair falls over her for coverage.

Caspian arches a brow at me, and I clear my throat.

“So a Phoenix.” I say, changing the subject. “What exactly does that mean for us?” I ask him.

“It means we have to get Colette back before they kill her.” His words are a matter of fact, but it feels like a silver dagger directly to the heart.

We have to get her back before they kill her. But if it was about killing her…then why would they have kidnapped her? What do they gain by taking her and keeping her with them? Unless they took her and killed her elsewhere in order to ensure we hunt for them. Then again, what would they want with us coming for them? There is nothing to be gained in that.

I rub my chest; the muscles aching at the thought of her already being gone. But I would have felt it right? If Percy could feel that he was losing his twin, surely I would feel it through the bond regardless of distance between us, right?

“What makes you think they want to kill her?” Hayes asks. I tilt my head in curiosity.

“Why else would they take her if not to kill her? Giselle is the one who threw a huge fit about Colette being a hybrid.” Caspian reminds us both.

But the more I think about Hayes‘ posed question, the more I wonder the same thing. What reason do we have to think she wants Colette dead? Giselle tried to kill her, or so we assumed, with the fire balls she sent at her.

But it could easily have been assumed I would have jumped in the way. I didn’t hide the fact that I would willingly die for her. So maybe it’s not Colette she wants dead, maybe it’s me.

“She knew I would protect Colette with my life.” I murmur as we pull into the mansion we all abandoned days before.

“So Giselle is aiming to kill you?” Hayes asks, confused. “No offense brother, but what does killing you do? We have a hierarchy. Killing off an alpha will just pass the title along.”

“I don’t know,” I muse, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Fuck. Every time it feels like we get somewhere, it stops making sense.”

“Desperation often leads to outside of the box ideas.” Caspian says. “And right now, desperation feels like the only way to get to logical answers. Even if they seem illogical.”

“That feels like a whole lot of talking in a circle,” Hayes mumbles, annoyed.

We hop out of the car, the four of us wandering toward the familiar mansion doors, and I realize the roof on the other side seems to be replaced. Though I don’t say much, it shouldn’t surprise me he would have the place repaired already. As we push the doors open, we are met with a tasty smell of steak and seasoned potatoes. My stomach rumbling until I think about Colette.

What is she eating, if they are feeding her at all? They no doubt are aware of her abilities with water, so how weak will she be if they keep liquid away from her, not allowing her to hydrate? How the fuck am I supposed to eat when she is suffering a fate worse than death?

“You two should change into dry clothing, then we can eat and regroup in my den,” Caspian says, walking off toward the kitchen.

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It feels to me like Hayes is not trying to understand that Leandra has been through more than most. Her ability to make her own decision, shift on her own command, was taken from her. And all his anger and annoyance does is break her down further.

“Are you ready?” I ask her softly and she startles, her hand rushing to her chest before her checks flush pink and she nods.

“Yeah,” she clears her throat as we walk in silence, me unsure of what to say and her lost in her mind.

“Hayes will come around.” I tell her hopefully, giving her a tight smile.

“Maybe,” she sighs. “I wouldn’t blame him if he doesn’t. It’s not like I am an ideal candidate. I mean…I didn’t even know I was a lycan until I shifted the first time and then I was hijacked by Giselle and Lily. There is a lot I don’t even know about myself.”

It’s not that she wants or needs it, but I pity her. I feel sorry for everything that has been taken from her. What she has lost and what she may lose because of circumstances beyond her control. There is a lot in life to miss when someone else is at the helm and making you out to be a bad guy.

“We are always changing, constantly growing because of what we experience. Even if you had known yourself, you would be a different person tomorrow than you are going to bed tonight.”

“I guess,” she murmurs.

“Life IS change. You don’t have to know who you are, Leandra. You only have to know who you want to be. What you want in life.”

She smiles softly.

“Who I want to be is someone a part of something good.” She whispers. “I want to help you find Luna Colette, any way possible. And I want to kill her for what she did to me.”

“Oh, well, get in line to kill Giselle.” I chuckle, shaking my head. “There are quite a few of us on the list.”

She waves her hands. “No, not her. I want to kill Lily for living in my head, playing me like a puppet and taking everything from me, especially my choices.”

“Mmm, well…” I exhale a deep breath as we come to her door. “Lily is yours for the taking.”

She reaches out, and I arch a brow as I clasp my hand to hers and we shake.

“Deal.” Then she turns and enters her room in much higher spirits.

I change quickly, wondering how all my clothes are already placed in the closet I shared with Colette, but I’m learning not to question the things the supernaturals can do.

Instead, I exit the room that feels suffocating without my mate’s scent and move to the dinner hall. I hear low arguing as I come around the corner and I stop dead in my tracks.

“If you had anything to fucking do with this-” Caspian growls, his hands on the collar of none other than an unbothered Johannes.

“I told you already. I am here to help you, not for the vampires, but of my accord.” He tells Caspian, who scoffs.

“And what makes you think we want your fucking help? Better yet, what makes you think we need it?” I growl, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Because there is shit you don’t know….things unfolding you won’t understand.” He says plainly, but I can see the sincerity in his eyes.

“Oh? Like what?” I scoff. “Name one thing-”

“Lauren was a hybrid.” He says, flatly. “I turned her,

and

survived it as both vampire and lycan.”

“What?”

“And she may not be as dead as previously thought…” He says, looking away.

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