Chapter 26

Awakening to a sliver of sunlight piercing my eyelids, I sigh, rolling over and tugging the covers up to my chin. The soft, rhythmic snores from outside my room coax a small smile onto my face. They actually camped outside my room last night?

Did I overreact yesterday? It wasn’t the first time I’d been overlooked when I was out with Knox. But it was the first time I’d been alone with him, without the buffer of a friend to share in the experience of being ignored by the throng of girls he magnetically attracts.

The soft tap of fingers on my door pulls me from my thoughts, grounding me back in reality. I roll over, reaching for my phone to check the time.

11:37 a.m.

I don’t remember falling asleep.

“Sis? You awake?” Sam’s whisper filters through the door.

I sigh audibly, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and padding to the door, my feet cracking in protest after hours of rest. I sit down on the other side of the door, tapping lightly in response. I see her fingers curl under the door, reaching for mine.

“ET phone home,” we both say, giggling softly so as not to wake the others.

“Open up, Al.” Following her request, I unlock the door, revealing Sam slumped against the frame, her body angled towards me. She offers me a weary smile, the toll of a sleepless night evident in her eyes. I peek out the door to find the boys sprawled on the floor in a variety of uncomfortable positions.

They’re going to hate me for this. My gaze lands on Knox, fast asleep opposite my door, cocooned in a sleeping bag and surrounded by pillows.

“He never moved from that spot. Not once,” Sam whispers, careful not to disturb their slumber. I can’t tear my eyes away from him. His hair is a tousled mess, and it appears he’s shirtless, his discarded shirt lying beside him.

“You should talk to him. He feels bad.”

I nod, my gaze still fixed on him. Guilt washes over me as I consider the discomfort he must have endured, staying there all night. I scoot across the floor until I’m hovering over him.

I can’t help but let my eyes wander over his bare chest. Shaking off the distraction, I poke his cheek lightly. He doesn’t stir. He must be in a deep sleep.

I poke him again, harder this time. He stirs slightly but doesn’t wake. He’s so cu—

No! Alex, stop.

“Knox?” I whisper, continuing to poke his cheek. He opens one eye, looking at me before rolling over, not fully registering my presence.

Suddenly, his eyes snap open and he sits up. “Baby doll?” He struggles to free himself from the sleeping bag. I nod at him.

His arms reach out, cupping my face and pulling me close until I’m practically lying on top of him. He kisses the side of my head, wrapping his arms around me protectively. I freeze, wide-eyed at his actions, unsure of how to respond.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I’m really sorry. I feel like an ass,” he begins. I release a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and lean back just as the others begin to stir.

I glance around at the bodies slowly coming to life around my doorway. “Can I talk to you in my room?” I ask him. He stands up quicker than I thought possible, extending a hand to help me up.

I scramble out of his touch, turning to see Sam smirking at me. Rolling my eyes, I lead the way into my room, Knox following close behind.

I hold the door open for him, locking it behind us. “I overreacted, yes—”

“Alex, you have every right to be pissed at me. I stood there and watched it all happen. The girls, the paparazzi... they were hounding you, and I just stood there when I should’ve spoken up.”

“Knox, it’s fine. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. With everything that happened with Drew... I’m just a little more... sensitive. And for all I know, I could be getting my period soon, so that doesn’t help.”

“Uh, TMI, baby doll, TMI!” He scrunches his nose at me. Maybe I should’ve kept that to myself.

“Sorry. Look, I’m just going to stay out of your way. I don’t feel like dealing with the wrath of every girl in the country right now. But I do pity the next girlfriend you have,” I joke, sitting next to him on my bed.

I pull my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on top and wrapping my arms around my legs. I need to protect myself. I need time to myself.

“Alex, I’m sorry about what happened, but I don’t want things to be awkward between us. Please don’t distance yourself from me. I... I can’t... you’re my baby doll,” he sighs, looking at me.

I can’t bring myself to meet his gaze. It’s better if we keep our distance, like old times. It’ll be better for him. He sighs when he sees I’m not wearing his jersey.

“Knox, listen, it’s going to be better for both of us if we maintain some distance. Your popularity and fan base will rebound, and all of this will be forgotten. The media will back off from both of us.”

“Alex, I couldn’t care less about my popularity! I won’t let this happen again. I’m not going to—”

“Knox, please. This lifestyle isn’t for me. I’m constantly being mobbed by your female fans. I’m tired of defending myself against them. It’s too much, and I can’t keep relying on Andy and Wes to bail me out.”

“I’ll hire bodyguards then. I’ll protect you, Alex. Please, don’t do this, baby doll.”

I finally turn to face him, his eyes are glossy, on the brink of tears. The look he’s giving me is too much to bear.

~Why does he want me to stick around? He doesn’t even like me, does he?~

“I don’t need bodyguards, Knox. I just need everything to go back to the way it was. I think it’s best if we keep our distance. The media frenzy, the fan girls—it’s all too much. You might be used to it, or the girls you date might be, but I’m not. It’s not for me.”

He stands up and crouches down, his hands resting on either side of my waist. His eyes search mine, as if he’s looking for something.

We stay like that for a few moments. He rests his forehead on my legs, seemingly trying to control his breathing.

~Why does this feel like a breakup? My heart aches from this conversation. But I had to say it. It’s been too hard to ignore or deny anymore.~

“And I’m sorry about what happened yesterday morning downstairs. I got carried away, it shouldn’t have happened,” I say, trying to convince myself more than him.

But it’s not working. That kiss... was something else. Something I can’t put into words.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I’m sorry I’ve put you through this. I’m not happy about it, but I’ll respect your decision. I’ll be here for you when you’re ready, if you’re ready. But for what it’s worth, I enjoy being around you, especially these past few weeks. I’ve always enjoyed your company, even when we were at each other’s throats... Call me if you need anything, baby doll... And I’m not sorry for what happened yesterday. I’m sorry you think it was a mistake. Because to me... it wasn’t.”

He opens my door and everyone is crowded around, trying to act nonchalant. I know they were eavesdropping. My family has always been, and will always be, nosy. He leaves my room without a second glance back at me.

My heart sinks. I hate this feeling, but it had to be done, right?

I run my hand up the side of my face, resting it under my jaw. I stare out my doorway to see the boys looking down the hallway and Sam and Hannah looking at me, their faces full of questions.

The boys follow Knox, except for Kyle. He starts to pick up all the sleeping bags and pillows scattered on the floor.

I lie back onto my bed and feel two bodies on either side of me, causing the bed to dip slightly.

“What did you say?” Sam finally asks after a minute of silence.

Staring up at my blank ceiling, I reply simply, “We need to distance ourselves.” They understand what I mean. We don’t discuss it further. They get it.

The day carries on without anyone bringing it up. It seems everyone knew about it.

My mom tries to discuss it with me a few times when we’re alone, but I shut her down, explaining it’s between me and Knox.

She drops it, but gives me a look that says, ~Please rethink your decision.~ But it’s done.

Did I feel like shit? Yes.

Did I overreact? Maybe.

But I’m tired of people approaching me, wanting information about me or him. Hearing the same questions, enduring the stares, the fake smiles from girls trying to get me to set them up with him. Watching them flirt with him. I’m not jealous, I’m just tired of the same shit, different day.

Christmas morning arrives and I’m woken by two little rugrats jumping on me, screaming ‘Santa came!’ repeatedly.

Hearing loud footsteps running past my doorway down the stairs, the two leave my room quickly, leaving me alone in the peace and quiet of my room.

“Alex, sweetie, are you coming down to open your presents?” my mom calls out. Groaning, I push myself up out of bed, not yet opening my eyes.

I’m really not in the mood for Christmas this year. I usually love Christmas, but this year it’s going downhill fast and ending on a sour note. She pulls me close and kisses my head.

“Merry Christmas, Alex,” she whispers.

“Merry Christmas, Mom,” I respond, my voice flat. I drag my feet along the carpet down the hallway, reaching the living room where my entire family is gathered.

Feeling Boomer at my feet, I pick him up and sit down on the couch with him on my lap. He settles down and I stroke his fluffy fur.

Watching everyone open their presents, I slowly wake up and decide to open mine, wanting to share in their joy. I want to be happy too.

My family’s gifts of clothes, shoes, surfing gear, and a GoPro brought a smile to my face. I’ve always been more of a gift giver than a receiver, though. There’s something about watching the surprise and joy on someone’s face as they unwrap a present that I find more thrilling than opening my own.

“Alex, these are yours too,” Sam said, gesturing towards two remaining gifts under the tree. I approached them, curiosity piqued. Crouching down, I took in their size and shape.

I decided to tackle the larger one first, already having a hunch about what it might be. As I tore off the wrapping paper, my suspicions were confirmed. It was the latest Roxy surfboard, adorned with various shades of seafoam green and a Hawaiian design. My name, ‘Alex’, was inscribed on the underside in a vibrant blue.

The fins were a pristine white, and the top of the board was sleek and pointed. It was perfect. More than perfect, it was a reflection of me, my personality captured on a board. My favorite colors and design covered every inch of it.

I ran my hand along the glossy surface, still in disbelief that it was sitting right in front of me. I was speechless.

“Sweet board!” Kyle’s voice broke through my reverie. I grinned at him, still in awe.

“It’s perfect. I’m speechless. Thanks, Mom!” I turned to face her, only to be met with a confused expression. She exchanged a baffled look with Eric.

“As much as we’d like to take credit for getting you that sweetheart, we... uh didn’t?”

Their response left me puzzled. If they didn’t get it, then who did? I scanned the room, looking for the culprit. Finding a deep red envelope attached to the other present, I quickly opened it, hoping for some answers.

~Merry Christmas,~

I know you’re probably going to kill me. But there’s no better person who deserves them. I bought these for you a while ago. I hope you like them, baby doll.

I’m sorry.

Knox

XX~

Damn Knox! I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face. Why did he buy these for me? I didn’t deserve them. I didn’t even deserve the card from him.

Next, I turned my attention to the large box beside me. Peeling back the wrapping paper, I saw the orange box with ‘Hermes’ written in small print on it. My heart pounded in my chest as I opened it.

“Hermes? Are you fucking kidding me?!” Sam squealed into my ear. I shot her a glare, and she gave me an apologetic look.

Inside the box was the grey and mint green bag I’d seen when we went shopping. I couldn’t believe he’d bought it for me, especially after I’d told him not to. I placed the bag on my surfboard and slumped back on the floor beside the tree, shaking my head.

“I don’t deserve either of these,” I said softly.

“Honey, who are they from?”

“Who do you think?”

“Knox?”

I nodded, meeting her gaze. She gave me a soft smile and rubbed my back. “He sure does care about you, sweetie. Maybe you should call him?” I nodded again, picking up my phone from the floor.

Why does he care so much? I just don’t get it. It’s like a switch flipped in his mind in Savannah and he decided to be nice to me all of a sudden.

I left the room and went out to the kitchen, pressing dial when I saw his name on my screen. He answered after three rings.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey,” I replied. There were a few moments of silence. I honestly didn’t know what to say. I was in shock that he’d bought me these gifts, but I was the last person in the world who deserved anything from him.

“Knox, I... I can’t accept the presents.”

“Sure you can, baby doll.”

“No, I can’t. It doesn’t feel right. Thank you, but I don’t deserve any of it.”

“Please, baby doll, I bought them for you before... before the shit hit the fan. Please, I want you to have them. And don’t ever say you don’t deserve anything because you deserve a lot more than what I just gave you.”

“Why? I don’t understand why you got them for me. I... please, Knox, I can’t accept them. Thank you, though. They’re absolutely beautiful and perfect, but I don’t deserve any of it. I don’t even deserve the card from you. There’s no damage done to either of them, so you can give them back and get your mon—”

“Alex, I don’t want them. I’m not taking them from you. I will refuse them if you send them back to me, and I won’t send them back. I want you to have them. I’m glad I bought them for you.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I want to make it up to you. It’s the least I can do.”

“You have nothing to make up to me, Knox.”

“Yes, I do. I have a lot to make up to you. I have years of making up to do.”

I sighed and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling in my kitchen.

“Alex!!” Eden burst through the kitchen doors, dolls in hand. I picked her up and placed her on the counter.

“Who’s on the phone?” she asked. I told her it was Knox. She grabbed the phone from my hand and started chattering away, her dolls forgotten on the counter.

“Knoxie! Thank you for the p-wesent. Yea... yea... yeaaaa... Uh-huh... Are you coming over? I want to play dolls with you and Adam... Okay... yea... yea...”

She could talk to him all day if she could.

“Alrighty then! Yes, she’s here... okay... bye now! Love you!” she finally handed the phone back to me. I wedged the phone between my cheek and shoulder, setting Eden back on the floor.

“Baby doll?”

“Yeah?”

“Look, I get that you want to keep your distance from me, but I want you to have the presents. Please.” I leaned against the counter, releasing another sigh and nodding my head.

“Okay, but expect a present from me. And thank you... you really didn’t have to. I love them. I love them a lot. Tell the family I say Merry Christmas and I hope Adam enjoys his presents.”

“I look forward to it. Anytime, baby doll. Merry Christmas! See you around.” He kept it short and sweet. We hung up the phone and I trudged back into the living room where Eric was waiting.

“Hey sweetheart,” he beamed as I sat on the sofa next to him. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into his side.

“Hey,” I replied softly.

“How’d it go?”

“It went fine. I just feel bad taking the gifts from him. You know?”

“I get it. But I’m also a guy. He wouldn’t have sent them to you if he didn’t want you to have them. Besides, he left them here two days after everything happened.

I had a talk with him. I think you mean a lot more to him than you think, sweetheart.”

“Hah, yeah, the guys have always been protective of me. They see me as their little sister too. But I think this is for the best. I can’t deal with the attention. It isn’t for me.”

“Well, I think you mean a little more to him than the rest of the guys. But sweetheart, your name is already out there so you shouldn’t let that stop you from talking to him. It’s not his fault.

I know he didn’t stick up for you, but I think he thought you could handle it. You are a feisty little thing, so he thought you didn’t need it by the sounds of it.”

“Doubt that. Yeah, I get where you’re coming from, but it’s one thing having another person there with you also being ignored than having nobody there and you’re only being ignored.

Eric, I felt like crap that day. It was just one blow after another, plus I’m already trying to get over the whole Drew situation. It’s just not great timing at the moment, I’m a little sensitive right now.”

He nodded his head in understanding and was about to say something else when my mom called us for breakfast.

I kissed him on the cheek and said, “Thanks for listening, Eric. I always appreciate your opinion and everything you’ve done for me and my mom. You have no idea.”

“I’ll always be here for you guys and the beautiful woman I get to call my wife in the next room. Know that, kiddo.”

We entered the kitchen and stuffed our faces with the breakfast my mom had made. The little ones were playing with their new toys and Lena was engrossed in her new iPhone.

Sitting around the dining table, listening to people chat amongst themselves, I just listened, taking it all in when I felt a hand on the back of my neck with a light squeeze.

Turning in my chair, I saw Kyle giving me a faint smile. He nodded his head towards the door, asking me to go outside with him, so we both got up to leave the room and walked out to the foyer.