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Chapter 31

Chapter 31

The Perfect Spiral

I awoke to the gentle rhythm of breathing on either side of me, the familiar warmth of two bodies nestled close. Hannah and my mom had stayed the night, their presence a comforting balm after the chaos of the previous evening.

The fight that had erupted last night had left me shaken, my mind a whirlwind of confusion and guilt. Knox and Wes had both tried to talk to me, their voices echoing through the closed door of my room. Their parents had eventually dragged them away, their apologies and explanations fading into the night. I was grateful for the silence, the solitude. Eric had to carry me to my room, my legs weak and unsteady from the shock of what I’d witnessed.

Throughout the night, sleep had been elusive, my mind replaying the events over and over. ~Did I cause that fight?~ The question haunted me, a ghost whispering in the darkness.

The sight of Hannah and my mom, both sound asleep in my bed, brought a small smile to my face. Hannah’s arm was draped over me, a familiar gesture that brought back memories of simpler times. My mom was facing the window, her back rising and falling with each breath. I watched as she stirred, turning to face me.

“Mornin’ suga’,” she murmured, her voice thick with sleep. She reached out, taking my hand in hers and pressing a soft kiss to my knuckles.

“Hi, momma,” I replied, my smile tinged with gratitude. I loved having someone to share my bed with, the presence of another person always made me feel safe.

“Those two finally left you alone. You fell asleep as soon as you hit this bed. It took them a while and a lot of convincing to leave the doorway,” she said, her voice muffled against the back of my hand.

“I was really tired. It hit me when I was in the cab on the way home. I’m so happy you stayed with me, mom,” I confessed, moving closer to her. As much as I loved Hannah, there was something uniquely comforting about having my mom with me.

My relationship with my mom had always been close. She was my rock, my confidante, my biggest cheerleader. She’d supported me through everything, the good and the bad. We shared everything, our bond unbreakable.

“Anything for you, sweet pea. What am I going to do with you? Causin’ two best friends to fight over you!” she teased, her voice light. But I could see the concern in her eyes, the worry that lingered beneath her playful words.

The fight had shaken me, the violence and anger coming out of nowhere. I was still reeling, the shock of it all refusing to fade.

“It came from nowhere? It’s just... like... how?.... why?” I stammered, struggling to articulate my confusion.

A soft knock on my door interrupted our conversation. “Baby doll, can I come in? I just- what are you doing here?” Knox’s voice shifted from sweet to sharp in an instant.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Wes retorted, his voice cold.

“Boys, that’s enough,” Delilah and Stella’s voices echoed from the hallway, their words sharp and stern.

I turned to my mom, my eyes pleading. I didn’t want to see either of them. She understood, nodding before slipping out of bed and heading for the door.

“You two need to give her more time, she’s just a little shocked at what happened last night. She just doesn’t get where it all came from? She’s confused as to why you went all MMA fighter on each other!” I heard her say, her voice firm.

I could almost see the glares from the three mothers through the wall. I lay there, Hannah’s arm still around me, wondering how she’d ended up here. Did she know what had happened?

“Grandma, is Alex in her room? Is she awake? Can I go see her?” A small voice piped up from outside my door, and my heart melted. I could use one of Adam’s hugs right about now.

“Adam, get your cute little butt in here!” I called out, my voice echoing through the room. The door opened and I heard the patter of small feet as Adam ran towards my bed. I sat up, pulling him onto the bed and settling him down next to me.

Eden and Noah followed suit, clambering onto the bed and snuggling close. I shifted closer to Hannah, making room for the three of them. Having the three musketeers in bed with me and Hannah was more than enough.

I kissed each of them on their heads, lying back down as they shuffled closer. This was exactly what I needed. Love. These three always gave me some.

I closed my eyes, a content sigh escaping my lips. Adam’s voice broke the silence, his words soft and sweet. “You’re pretty, Alex.”

I pulled him closer, a smile spreading across my face. “Thank you, Prince Charming. You’re very handsome.”

I could feel the weight of their gazes on me, and I turned towards the door. I wish I hadn’t.

Knox and Wes stood there, their faces a mess of bruises and cuts. I sat up, my gaze darting between them, my smile fading. I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth. “Oh my God,” I mumbled, my eyes wide with shock.

They both stepped forward, their hands outstretched, their mothers trailing behind them. “Baby doll,” “Sweetheart,” they said in unison. My hand was shaking, my mouth agape.

Oh my God.

I fought back the tears, my throat tight. I watched as a single tear escaped, trailing down my cheek. They both stepped forward, their hands outstretched, their mothers holding them back.

“Baby doll,” “Sweetheart,” they said in unison. My hand was shaking, my mouth agape. I could only stare, the reality of what had happened finally sinking in.

My breath hitched, uneven and ragged, as if a panic attack was lurking just around the corner. I stared at them, my gaze darting back and forth in disbelief. How could they do this to each other? Why?

Every eye in the room was on me. I felt Adam shift beside me, rising to his feet. His hand, gentle and warm, cupped my face, his thumb brushing away my tears.

He bent down, pressing a kiss to each of my eyelids. “Don’t cry, Alex. I’ll kiss it better.” His words coaxed a laugh from me, a bright spot in the midst of my silent tears. He was just too adorable.

“Thanks, Adam... Why can’t you be my age? I would’ve married you by now,” I joked, earning a giggle from him before he plopped back down beside me.

I leaned over to press a kiss to his forehead, then turned back to face Knox and Wes. Their eyes pleaded with me, but all I could think about was the drama they’d stirred up in my life, especially Knox.

“Get out, both of you,” I said, my voice quiet but firm.

That’s when you know I’m really pissed. When I’m animated, you can calm me down after a while, but when I’m angry and calm on the outside, you’d better run—fast.

My emotions were a whirlwind. First shock, then guilt, then sadness, and now anger. I lay back down on my mattress, pulling Adam close. The others snuggled up to us.

That’s when I noticed Hannah was awake. She wrapped her arms around me from behind, scooting closer until we were spooning.

“I got you, girl,” she whispered in my ear. Another tear slipped down my cheek, and my mom walked over to me.

I hated being me in that moment. I just hated it.

She rested her hand on my head, her gaze soft as she looked down at me. After years of my father’s harsh words, she could read my emotions better than I could. She knew me like the back of her hand.

“I love you, Alex. I love you so much, sweetheart.” I needed to hear that. I needed to let it all out. But I didn’t want the little ones to see me cry like this.

I smiled up at her, pulling the duvet up to my chin and making sure the kids were comfortable. She kissed us all and left the room, ushering the others out.

I didn’t look at them. I didn’t want to. I was so done with their bullshit.

After we all fell back asleep and woke up to the sound of our stomachs growling, we decided to take the kids downstairs for some food.

Hannah and I were in the kitchen, preparing food for the kids while they watched TV in the living room. I offered to help, needing something to keep my mind occupied. Wes and Knox were sitting in the kitchen.

I could feel their eyes on me, their gazes burning into my skin. I didn’t look at them once. I didn’t want to talk to them.

“Woah! What happened to you two?” Kyle and Andy walked into the kitchen, both dressed in sweatpants and hoodies. “I’d love to see what the other guys look like!” Kyle said, patting them hard on the back.

“They did that to each other,” I finally spoke up.

“What? Why?” Kyle asked, looking between us.

“Ask Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson over there,” I said, pointing to them but not looking up from the chopping board. I was interrupted by the buzzing of my phone on the counter. I glanced at the caller ID and Hannah gave me a questioning look.

“Is he still calling you?”

“Who?” Kyle asked, walking over as I swiped to answer.

“Drew,” Hannah said, just as I said, “Hello?” I saw Kyle tense out of the corner of my eye and walked out of the kitchen, heading downstairs to the swimming pool and hot tub.

“Hey babe, it’s me,” Drew’s voice was soft and calm, almost soothing.

“Hi, what’s up?”

“I was wondering if I could talk to you?... I miss you, babe. I miss you a lot. I’m sorry about what I did to you. I know I hurt you, Alex. I hurt you real bad. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Drew, you chose to cheat on me. I’m sure it wasn’t the first time. You just miss me because you’re alone now. You’re lonely. You’ll find someone you won’t cheat on. I’m just not that girl.”

“I don’t want just anyone, Alex. I want you back. Please, take me back. I’m begging you, baby! I love you so much. You were it for me. I... I just freaked out a little... I freaked out because of how strong my feelings were for you. I’ve never felt this way about a girl before.”

“Drew, you should’ve just ended it with me. Your feelings weren’t strong enough if you went and fucked another girl in your bed—the bed we shared, the bed we... That hurt, Drew.”

“Alex, we didn’t have sex. I made love to you in my bed. There’s a big difference. I freaked out, that’s all. I won’t do it again, baby! I promise. Please, I love you too much to let you go.” I sighed, alone in the indoor swimming pool. I walked over to the edge and dipped my feet in the water.

“Alex? Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you love me?”

“I... I thought I did love you, Drew. But—”

“Give me another chance, baby. I love you too much... I miss your smile. The way you laughed with those cute lines around your eyes. And those eyes, God, your beautiful crystal blue eyes that I still dream about and love to stare into... When you pushed your glasses up on your nose so you could see out of them...”

The way you’d bite your lip when you were deep in thought... I miss the way you’d look up at me when we embraced. The way you’d kiss me, the way you’d wrap your arms around me from behind.

When you cooked for me, you’d bite your tongue in concentration, measuring everything to perfection... Even in tears, you were the most beautiful girl in the world.

“I love you, Alex. I want to marry you someday. I want you to have my kids. I want us to live in a house with a white picket fence, where we can grow old together and become respected in our fields...

I love your mind, that sexy brain of yours. You’re too smart for your own good, baby, and I love that about you.” His words hang in the air, and I stay silent, mulling them over.

~But he cheated on you. He still cheated on you.~

“You don’t have to decide now. I just wanted you to know I still love you, and I’d be the happiest man alive if you took me back. I’ll always love you. Please know that.

I’m sorry for what I did. I regret it every day. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Think about it. I’d like to meet up with you when you come back to Cali. I miss your beautiful face, baby.”

“Drew, you’re asking a lot from me. I need time to think about it all.”

“I understand, baby. Call me when you’re ready. I’ll wait. You’re worth the wait.”

“I’ve got to go, Drew. I’ll call you soon. Bye.”

“I love you, Alex. Bye.” Ending the call, I swirl my legs around in the water for a minute or two before finally deciding to get up and eat whatever is there for us.

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