Chapter 34

A few hours later, Andy, Sam, Hannah, Sam’s best friend Zara, and I decide to have a girls’ night with a slumber party.

My mom filled Sam in on what happened, and she hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe. But it was a comforting gesture. Still, I do need my oxygen.

So, all five of us are sitting downstairs in the theater, gossiping after failing to watch the chosen movie, White Chicks.

We start chatting about boys and New Year’s Eve to distract ourselves from the morning’s events. With face masks on and cocktails in hand, we’re all a little tipsy.

“So, Andy, when did you first kiss Kyle?” Zara asks, lightening the mood. I let my mind wander to my very first kiss, which was with Knox, in the closet to the left of the screen.

I find myself staring at it before Zara pulls me out of my reverie.

“Earth to Alex? Hello!”

“What? Sorry, what’s up?”

“First kiss story! Spill.” Well, shit. Only Hannah knows this one. I could lie, but Andy would know. She’s good at picking up on that sort of stuff.

I glance over at Hannah, who is smirking behind her straw, pretending not to know.

“Well, um, it was good. I mean, I was nine, so it was a little awkward.”

“Where was it and who was it with?” Sam prods.

“Um... it was in the storage closet over there,” I say, pointing to the closet to the left of where we’re sitting. I fall silent, looking around at them. They’re all waiting for me to continue the story.

Sam raises an eyebrow at me. “Who was it with, Alex?”

“Um... well...” I try to find a way to avoid telling them it was Knox. But I’m really struggling to do so.

“Alex! Who was it with?!”

“Knox...” I blurt out. They all stare at me, wide-eyed, before their shock morphs into grins. Except for Hannah, she already knew this.

“No way! Are you serious? Knox fucking Carter! Ugh, I’m so jealous! He was your first kiss?”

I nod at her, and Sam sits there, processing this information with a smile on her face.

“I knew something happened between you two! I was wondering why he changed his attitude towards you! He was nice to you, then he was so mean to you! Now I get it!”

“Get what?” I ask, not following her. I don’t know where she’s going with this.

“He was mean to you... because he liked you! Or he might still like you?”

I snort at her, laughing at her wild assumptions. She glares at me.

“How many times have you kissed?” Sam asks, while they all try to figure out if he likes me or not. Which I know he doesn’t.

“Twice, they’ve kissed twice,” Hannah chimes in. I avoid making eye contact, because she’ll know it’s not twice anymore. It’s four times.

Don’t get me wrong, I love girl talk... when it’s not about me.

“You guys kissed twice, right, Al?” Hannah asks suspiciously, eyeing me. She knows I’m not telling the full truth.

“Uh-huh,” I reply, swirling my drink around in the cup with my straw.

“Alex, you kissed him more than twice!! What! When?! Where?! How?! Oh my god! Spill NOW!”

Damn! Nice job, Alex, now you’ve got to spill. This is what happens when I drink—I can’t lie worth a damn, I get feisty as hell, and I get seriously horny.

“Hey! That rhymed,” I said, trying to divert the conversation.

“Alex, spill it! Is he good?” Zara demanded.

“Um, well... just to be clear, he kissed me first. But... ugh...” I straightened up, preparing to spill the beans. What had I gotten myself into?

“So he kissed me when you were all at the Christmas fair.”

“Was this before or after your cupcake fight?” Sam teased.

“Kind of during, kind of after. The fight led him to do it. Like... it just... happened?”

“Did you kiss him back?” Hannah chimed in.

I just shrugged and said, “Kind of... look, it’s been a while, you know?” They all just smirked at me.

“I fucking knew it! I knew he liked you!” Andy exclaimed.

“What? No! He doesn’t like me, what makes you think that?”

“When he called you on the phone, he was worried that you were freaked out about him apologizing to you when we finished our last exam and Selena was attacking you. Remember?”

I nodded.

“Well, that’s when I figured out he liked you.”

“Did he say that to you?” I asked her, and she shook her head no. “Then you don’t know if he likes me or not, he never told you. So I’m just going to tell you he doesn’t like me. He never has.”

“Did he tell you that?” Hannah asked, throwing my own words back at me.

I shook my head no.

“Well, then you don’t know he doesn’t either!” She retorted smugly. Touché, Hannah, touché!

“On a scale of a peck to a make-out, what did the kiss rate as?” Sam finally asked.

“Make-out, like... against the wall make-out,” I admitted, feeling my cheeks heat up.

“OMG! What?!? That’s hot!” I rolled my eyes at her. This was so embarrassing. I just wanted to change the subject.

“Any more make-out sessions that we should know about?” Andy asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“You guys aren’t going to let this go, are you?” I asked, to which they all shook their heads no.

“Fine... he kissed me yesterday when we put the kids in my bed for a nap. He asked me to forgive him for fighting with Wes and kissed me. There, that’s it! Moving on!”

“No, no, go back! Describe the kiss, Alex, we want details!” Zara was prying for information about these kisses that really didn’t mean anything to either of us.

“Why? This is so embarrassing, guys, can’t we talk about something else?”

“Embarrassing? You just got kissed by the sexiest guy in the country not once but twice recently! How the hell are you embarrassed? I’d be climbing him if I were in your position. So would every girl in the world.”

“You kiss him then!”

“Girl, spill it now!” Sam demanded, munching on her sour patch kids, which she refused to share.

“It was a softer kiss, it wasn’t a make-out. It was... more... ugh, I can’t believe I’m about to say this... stupid alcohol... it was more intimate.”

“Ahhhhhh! Yessss, he likes you! You lucky bitch!” Zara screamed, throwing chocolate chips at me.

“No, he doesn’t. He’ll go back to ignoring me, just wait and see. He kisses loads of girls, it’s not really anything new to him.”

“Alex, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I think he actually does like you,” Hannah said softly. I just shook my head, disagreeing with her.

“You’re wrong, he doesn’t like me like that. It’s Knox, for God’s sake, he likes anything with two sets of lips. You’ll see him next week plastered in People magazine with a different girl on his arm.

He likes women too much and they like him. He’s a player who played me, so I’m not getting involved with that fresh after a breakup. I’m not reading into it at all.”

“Suit yourself,” Andy shrugged.

“But nobody says anything about this to my brothers, and don’t tease him about it either. It’s not a thing, it never will be one, so leave it alone. I don’t want it to be a big drama.”

They all nodded their heads in unison. I knew they would keep their word and not bring it up.

“So why did he and Wes drag Caleb away from you on New Year’s?” Sam tried to change the topic but didn’t really succeed. I shrugged because I wasn’t really sure why they dragged him away from me.

“I don’t know, I kissed him when Knox said I couldn’t. Then he dragged him away from me and I didn’t see him again?”

“So you kissed Caleb and he told you not to? Come on, Alex, if that doesn’t scream ‘I like you’ then I don’t know what will?” Sam agreed with what Andy was saying.

I understood their logic, but I didn’t believe it to be true.

“I’ll believe it if he says it, which he won’t. So can we please drop it? Let’s talk about Marcus, Tyson, or Kyle. Actually, let’s not talk about Kyle, that’s too weird.”

Our laughter filled the room as we continued our girls' night, gossiping about the people we'd encountered at the New Year's club party. The boys, the girls, the drama—it was all fair game.

After a few hours, the boys joined us, their eyes wide as they took in our face masks. We all burst into laughter at their expressions, and they quickly settled in, eager to join the conversation. We deftly changed the topic, keeping our previous discussion a secret.

They tried their best to pry, but we remained tight-lipped. We simply told them we were discussing boys and gossiping about girls. At the mention of boys, they exchanged glances, trying to coax us into revealing more. But we held our ground, keeping our secrets between the five of us.

As midnight approached, I found myself yawning repeatedly. Deciding it was time to call it a night, I asked, “Hannah, are you staying?”

She shook her head, explaining that she had to work at eight in the morning. Zara had work too, leaving only Andy and Sam. But with Kyle and Tyson present, I assumed they'd be staying with them. ~So much for the sleepover,~ I thought.

After bidding everyone goodnight, I ascended the stairs to the foyer and grabbed a water bottle. Once in my room, I washed the mask off my face and climbed into bed.

~Here we are again,~ I thought, my mind replaying the nightmare I'd had. It was the worst one yet. I remembered that night as if it were yesterday.

I was running down the stairs, past the foyer, with him hot on my heels, shouting, “Get back here, Alex!” I needed to think fast. I needed a weapon. I dashed into the kitchen, frantically searching for a knife. But I couldn't find one.

“I hid them,” he taunted.

~Shit, shit, shit! What should I do? Think, Alex!~

“People will be coming over soon. Mom will be back and she’ll call the police,” I tried to scare him, but he just laughed in my face.

“You think I’m scared of that threat, sweetie? Aww, Alex, you should know me better than that by now!” He was on the other side of the counter, slowly circling, brandishing the knife.

He was getting closer. The front door opened, and I heard voices. I gasped as he grabbed me, covering my mouth to stifle my screams. I started to cry. ~This is it. He’s going to kill me.~

“Alex, we’re back!” I heard Kyle and a chorus of deep voices. Tears streamed down my face. ~This is it.~

“Baby doll!”

“Alex?” Kyle and Knox called out in unison.

I bit down hard on his hand, tasting the metallic tang of his blood.

“You little—” He plunged the knife into my side.

The pain was excruciating. “Help me!” I cried out, only to be met with another stab. “Ahhhhh!” I screamed, feeling weak.

I tried to cover my wound, but the knife was still lodged in my side. I collapsed to the ground.

The kitchen door burst open, and my father knelt beside me, twisting the knife.

“Kyle!!! Help me!”

“I’m coming, Alex, hang in there! FUCK!” A body tackled my father, sending him flying across the room.

High-pitched screams and the sound of bones cracking filled the room. I was growing weaker.

“Alex!! Baby! Stay awake! Stay... oh my god! Call an ambulance! Now! ALEX! Stay with me, baby!!” My mom’s voice was pleading. Everything went black.

“Baby doll!!”

That was the last thing I heard before I slipped into unconsciousness. I woke up briefly in the ambulance, surrounded by bright lights and the wail of the siren, before losing consciousness again.

I woke up a few days later in the hospital, my family surrounding me, their faces etched with worry.

That night changed everything. It shattered my confidence, my trust. It shattered me. I became more introspective, speaking less and thinking more. I learned that speaking often landed me in trouble, so I kept quiet. I apologized to Kyle and the boys for ruining their prom night, but they assured me they didn't care. Still, I knew they did.

When I woke up, the entire football team came to visit. They brought flowers and my favorite candy. They talked, and I listened. I couldn't speak. My mind was racing, and I couldn't form coherent sentences.

Glancing at the clock, I saw it was 2:44 a.m. ~It’s amazing how much you can get wrapped up in your own thoughts and how time flies while doing it.~ I sighed, closing my eyes, trying to will myself to sleep.

The sound of my door opening and closing jolted me awake. The lock clicked shut, and I heard footsteps approaching my bed. ~Could it be him?~

My eyes flew open, and I was about to sit up when familiar arms wrapped around me.

“Baby doll, it’s me,” he murmured, his voice a soothing balm to my startled nerves. I exhaled the breath I’d been holding, my heart rate gradually returning to normal. Turning around, I nestled into his chest, noting the absence of a shirt.

His lips brushed the top of my head, a tender kiss that made me whisper a soft “Thank you” against his warm skin. I tilted my head up, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

In the dim light, I could just make out the faint smile on his lips. “Anytime, baby doll,” he responded, his voice a low rumble against my ear. “I’m always here for you. I’m not going anywhere.”

I nestled deeper into his chest, his arms wrapping around me in a tight, protective hold. His lips found my hair again, pressing another kiss to my head before he rested his chin atop it.

We drifted off to sleep in that comforting embrace. I felt safe. I knew there would be no nightmares tonight. I was under his protection. That night, I slept with the peacefulness of a child, a stark contrast to the restless nights I’d been having. I hadn’t realized how much I needed him to help me sleep.

He knew that when I slept with him, the nightmares stayed away. I was grateful that he’d come in and held me until I fell asleep. I was grateful that he was here, with me, and that he remembered how his presence chased away my nightmares.

Months ago, I never would’ve thought this possible. But things were different now. ~He~ was different now.