Chapter 57

I don’t want to talk to him either. If he’s going to be so childish about all of it, then I’m not going to entertain him by giving him a screaming match, which is probably what he wants.

She sighs and lays down with me. After a few moments of silence between us, she perks up.

“Let me take a picture of you lying in the sand all sexy? That bikini looks hot on you today! All you have to do is roll on your side and smile up through the hat you’re wearing.”

She takes my phone out of my hand and pulls me over so I’m lying on my side. I groan, knowing I’ll look weird doing this.

“Alright, so lie like this, bend this leg, put your arm here and your ass slightly in the air. Look up at me,” she instructs, and I comply. I look up at her through the hat and smirk.

“Yes, girl! Just like that! You look so seductive right now,” she smiles while taking a few pictures. She reminds me of Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls, coaching me through this.

“Okay, next, lie on your stomach and perk your ass up a little.”

I roll my eyes at her. “Andy, I’m not Lauren! It’s not a photoshoot,” I chuckle out.

“Shhh, you’re way hotter than Lauren! Just do it. Aaaand stretch your arms out in front and look over with sexy ’smeyes’.”

I quirk an eyebrow at her. “A what? What the fuck is a smeyes?”

She huffs and crawls close to me with a seductive look about her. I’m so embarrassed right now. She points to her eyes, showing me what she means.

“Smiling with your eyes, hello? Did you not watch America’s Next Top Model? Just do it!” I try my best smeyes pose while laughing at how ridiculous I probably look.

I look over to see Knox with his camera in hand, snapping a picture of me. He looks down at his screen and looks back up at me with wide eyes.

I focus my attention back on Andy, who is looking through the pictures, deleting the ones that aren’t good.

“Okay, sit up and cross your legs.” Sitting up on my butt, I play with the sand underneath me and wait for instruction from her.

She threads her fingers through my hair, playfully removing my hat and setting my phone aside. With a few deft movements, she scrunches the ends of my hair, giving me a beachy, surfer-girl look.

“Wow, girl! You’re a knockout, even without makeup. Now, smile, bitch!” Her words send me into a fit of laughter, and she seizes the opportunity to snap a few candid shots.

Once she’s satisfied, she shows me the array of photos she’s taken and edited.

“I think you should post this one on Instagram! Your body looks incredible. Can I handle all the editing and stuff for you? I love doing it... Oh my god, I could be your social media manager!”

Her wild idea sends me into another round of laughter. She’s showing me the first photo we took, where I’m lying on my side, smiling up at her. It’s not a sexy pose, just a genuine smile. It’s simple, and it’s very me.

“Go ahead, knock yourself out. But you’re not becoming my manager, Andy. It’ll probably get like two likes, one from you and the other from Hannah.”

I laugh at my own joke, imagining my millions of followers—note the sarcasm. She uploads the photo and speaks in an amused tone.

“Two likes, huh? Alex, you already have a thousand likes, and Knox was the first to like it. It’s only been up for thirty seconds.”

“What? Are you serious?” I sit up abruptly to check if she’s pulling my leg, only to find that I indeed have thousands of likes and a flood of comments.

She starts reading the comments aloud, and I cringe at the words.

“@Knox, you lucky son of a bitch.

@Knox, she’s definitely the girl in your picture, dude.

@Knox, that is one sexy body, now I know why you keep her to yourself.

@Knox, can I have her for a night?

@Alex, body goals.

@Alex, love the bikini and hat combo. Super hot.

@Alex, come sit on my lap or better yet my face.

@Alex and @Knox, you guys are couple goals.

@Knox, I would want her sitting on my lap all day too, bro. #jealous...”

“Okay, okay, I get it. I can’t post anything without him being tagged,” I groan, flopping back down on the towel beside her.

“Well, you’re gaining a lot of likes and followers right now. I’d like to think it’s my genius editing, but... I suppose your hotness plays a part too.” She teases, tickling my stomach as I continue to lounge in the sand.

After a while, she hands me back my phone and we lay there, soaking up the sun. We play some music and sing along softly.

The sound of footsteps in the sand draws my attention, and I look up to see Kyle approaching. He settles down next to Andy, sighs, and leans in to kiss her. She’s surprised at first, but quickly reciprocates with a smile on her lips.

They pull away, and she frowns slightly at his expression, which I’m also silently questioning. “What’s wrong?” she asks.

Kyle averts his gaze to a spot behind us, and we all turn to see Wes and Knox locked in a silent argument. “They’ve been like that for the last fifteen minutes. So, I walked away.”

I catch sight of them, their faces inches apart, their expressions heated. Why are they fighting so much?

“Why? Are they arguing about something?” Andy turns her attention back to Kyle, who’s watching the pair with a wary eye.

He sighs again. “I have no idea. Neither of them will tell me why they’re fighting. My guess is that it’s over a girl? But I can’t be sure when they won’t tell me.” He looks back at Andy, who leans in to kiss him again.

“Do you have any idea who this girl is?” She asks cautiously, shielding her eyes from the sun as she looks up at him.

He shakes his head. “I don’t know, but she must be special if they’re fighting over her. That’s my theory, anyway. I could be way off, and they could be fighting over something else entirely. But they’re my best friends, and I have a feeling it’s about a girl.”

A sinking feeling settles in my stomach. They’re probably fighting over the same girl Knox said was complicated. Is that why it’s complicated? Because Wes likes her too? Then why is he wasting his time going on a date with me?

“I think your theory might be right. Let me try talking to them, see if I can get anywhere.” Andy stands, brushing the sand off her body, and heads over to the two boys who are still sizing each other up.

Their bodies are tense, attracting the attention of several girls who are checking them out. Andy steps between them, trying to diffuse the situation.

Kyle flips onto his back and relaxes on the sand. I can’t tear my gaze away from the trio. I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

Who is she?

My heart leaps into my throat when all three of them turn to look at me. Why are they looking at me? I sit up in shock, but Andy quickly turns her attention back to the boys, who are still staring at me.

I glance behind me to see if they’re really looking at me, and notice a group of girls in the sea, all looking at them. So, it’s not me they’re staring at. It’s the girls. The girls are blushing and whispering among themselves. I roll my eyes and turn back to face the trio, noticing that Andy is being more animated than usual.

She’s trying to get their attention, but failing miserably. Knox says something that makes Wes turn back to him and step forward again. Andy tries to push him back. Is she crazy?

“Hey, Kyle, do you know those girls out there in the sea?”

He sits up to see who I’m talking about and shakes his head. “They don’t—oh, I think Knox hooked up with a couple of them last summer? Or maybe it was Wes? But I’m not entirely sure. Why?”

“Just curious, they keep glancing at Wes and Knox, that’s all,” I say, waving it off as if I’m not trying to decipher the tension between the two friends.

He shrugs and reclines back down. I continue to watch them, noticing the way their muscles ripple as they talk—Wes’s back and Knox’s abs, making them look even more attractive.

~Stop it!~ I scold myself. ~You are not getting turned on by two guys fighting over another girl. Plus, they’re your brother’s best friends.~

I reach for a bottle of water, taking a sip to cool down my heated body. The water is warm and tastes awful. I grimace, then glance down at Kyle beside me, a mischievous idea forming.

“Hey, Kyle.”

“Yeah?” he responds, just as I pour the water on him, causing him to choke. I toss the bottle aside and stand up. Time to run.

“ALEX!” I hear him yell, his voice filled with surprise and laughter. I start to run in the opposite direction, laughing and glancing back to see him quickly rise and chase after me, a huge grin on his face.

I keep running, my laughter echoing his. I take a swift turn to the right, heading towards the house and his friends.

We’re both laughing so hard that my cheeks start to hurt from smiling so much.

“Get back here! I’m going to bury you in the sand!” Kyle threatens, causing Andy to double over with laughter.

I run past them, managing to stay ahead of Kyle. All that running is paying off—I’m actually faster than he is right now.

I glance back to see him slowing down, standing next to Andy, who’s trying to hold herself up. Both boys are grinning widely at us.

“That all you got, fatty?” I taunt him.

“Ugh... shit.... shut up! And... who you callin’... fatty?” He pants, hands resting on his knees as he tries to catch his breath.

“I outran you, how does that make you feel?” I continue to tease him.

He smiles up at me, then at Andy. Taking her hand, he pulls her to his chest, resting his chin on her shoulder and wrapping his long arms around her waist.

“Yeah, but I win either way,” he says, kissing her neck and smirking at me.

I pretend to vomit and walk back to the towels, waving my hand dismissively. “Whatever, you still couldn’t catch me, little bitch,” I retort, flipping him off as I walk away.

Hours later, I find myself on my surfboard in the sea, watching the sunset on the horizon. The shades of pink, burnt orange, and hazy yellow all blend into each other, reflecting off the waves.

I used to sit out in the sand with my granddad, watching the sunset and the sunrise in the early mornings. It’s my absolute favorite.

The beach is nearly deserted now, and I’m pretty sure all my family and friends have left to go into the house. It leaves me out here on the water, alone with my thoughts.

“Hey, Pop... So, I have to do this talk on Thursday morning in New York for girls in STEM. I’m terrified. What if nobody shows up? What if I say something I shouldn’t? What if they ask me something personal? What if I sound stupid?” I ask the air, hoping my granddad will somehow answer me.

Not hearing anything back, as expected, I continue to talk to him.

“Everything’s a mess now, Pop. I miss you. I miss you every day. I wish you were here watching this with me. I miss seeing your face and hearing you laugh...

Wes asked me on a date. He and Knox are supposedly fighting over a girl. And yet he asked me on a date. They won’t say who she is...

My friend Ben is here with me too, and Andy. You would’ve loved them. Ben reminds me of you. Andy is in love with Kyle, and he’s in love with her. I know! Who’d have thought Kyle could find a girl he really likes...

I broke up with Drew... I caught him cheating on me...

Ugh... I feel like crap every day, Pop. My head is not in a good place. All this media stuff is freaking me out. I feel like I’m struggling... What would you do if you were me? How would you handle all of this?...

Adam, Noah, and Eden are all grown up, big, and bold. They’re such good kids. You’d be proud of them,” I say, swallowing hard to keep the tears at bay.

I glance down the beach, seeing a group of teenagers lounging around a lifeguard chair.

“This world is different without you, Pop. I don’t have you here with me, but I hope you’re my guardian angel, even though I never believed in that stuff...

You’d be proud of Sam, she got engaged and she’s getting married in just over a month to a football player. Haha! Yeah, no shock there.

You’d like him, he’s a great guy. Absolutely adores her, you can see it in his eyes, just like when you looked at Lovey and Eric looks at Mom.

I wish I had someone to look at me like that. But I guess you can’t have everything, right?... Cain will be out of prison this month, I’m not exactly sure when. But I remember the month and year, but the release date was TBC...

Looks like I might be joining you up there sooner than you think,” I say, laughing bitterly to myself. The first tear drops onto my board when I bow my head down. It’s caught by the surrounding water and disappears.

“I have nightmares about that night every so often. Mom says I should go and see someone about it, to just talk it out and offload. But... you know how bad I am at explaining my feelings.

It makes sense up here,” I say, pointing to my head and slapping my hand back down into the water. Sniffling to stop myself from crying more, I take a long-overdue deep breath and release it.

I find myself enveloped in darkness.

“And yet, here I am, talking to myself in the ocean. Maybe I should see a therapist? But then again, I treat Ben like my therapist. Or anyone who will sit and listen to me...”

Suddenly, I hear my name being called, along with Knox’s. I spin around to see him floating behind me. My eyes widen as I realize he could’ve been listening to me. The entire time.

I hastily wipe away my tears.

Well, shit.

He must think I’m crazy.

I quickly turn my gaze back to the setting sun. Sitting there in silence, I close my eyes, focusing on the rhythm of my breathing.

“I’ll come to visit you soon, Pop, I promise,” I whisper to myself, hoping that my unexpected companion won’t hear me. I’m left sitting there in the darkness on my board, unsure if he’s still there.

I start to paddle around, facing the shore, and begin to move towards it. I glance over my shoulder and confirm that he is, in fact, still there. I don’t look at him again and continue on my way.

Once I reach the shore, I wring out my hair, freeing it from the salty seawater. I bend down to untie myself from my board, placing it gently on the two towels spread out on the sand.

As I stand back up, Knox picks up both towels and hands me one. I shake off the sand and pat myself dry. I can feel his gaze on me as he steps closer, while I wrap myself up in the towel.

A slight breeze makes me shiver involuntarily.

He’s standing in front of me now. I bring the towel up to my nose and look down at my feet, where my board lies. I can feel his proximity and take a step back, continuing to dry myself off.

I flip my board around to protect the fins and sit on top of it, waiting for the wind to dry my legs a bit more.

I feel the board dip behind me and hear a sigh escape from him. I dig my heels into the sand, shaking my feet.

“I won’t let him touch you,” he breaks the silence that has stretched between us since last night. I smile into my towel, pleased that he gave in first. He knew I wouldn’t be the one to break.

I see his legs on either side of me get closer. I feel his chest lean against my back, his chin resting on my shoulder. His arms wrap around me, the towel enveloping me.

I find myself leaning into his chest, but quickly snap out of it and return to my previous position. I’m not that easy. I’m not like those other girls who fall for his sweet words and rugged face.

“You can talk to me, baby doll,” he continues, making me laugh bitterly.

“For you to ignore me again? No thanks.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you, baby doll.”

“So you were just not talking to me?”

“Look, I’m sorry. But... it’s my way of keeping myself in... control.”

“Control? Over what?”

“Over myself.” I turn around on my board to face him.

“Well, you didn’t do such a good job in the shed. I’m not another one of those girls you can toy with, Knox.”

“I know you’re not, Alex. I never saw you as one. I never will see you like that.”

“Like what? Look, I know I’m so repulsive—”

“Repulsive? Are you kidding me? You’re not repulsive, Alex! Stop thinking of yourself like that—”

“Ugly, whatever—” I roll my eyes.

“Alex! Stop! You’re not repulsive or ugly. You’re—” His words are cut off by Wes shouting down at us to come inside and eat before the food is gone.

Not before I catch the glare he sends Knox’s way, watching us as we make our way towards the house.

I place my board inside the shed and stare at the wall, thinking about our earlier conversation. I close the door and look at Knox, seeing an emotion in his eyes that I can’t quite identify.

We walk inside and grab a plate, joining the rest of our friends and family on the deck. I listen to the light-hearted conversations, picking at my food.

My appetite is non-existent. I just fade into the background, listening to the different voices around me.