Chapter 72

We all walk back into the room, glancing around at the bodies, but I notice there’s one missing. Where did he go? I look to see my mom with a scowl on her face, along with Delilah.

They’re talking in hushed tones to the side of the room. I see Eric and Lovey on the other side, cradling little Reign on the seat. I kiss their cheeks and sit with Lovey.

I look around the room once more, just to be sure, and he’s definitely not here anymore. He must be on a call or something?

We leave the hospital and I’m in the car with Sam and Tyson, driving back home in high spirits. I’m listening to the low hum of the radio in the background.

With the rushing cars passing us by, I can’t help but wonder why did Knox leave so quickly? What was so urgent? We park in the driveway and I notice we’re the first ones home.

We all climb out of the car and make our way towards the house. We’re greeted by Boomer as soon as we open the door. Sam throws her arms around my shoulders and gives me a tight hug.

“How cute is little Reign! I can’t wait to have one of my own!” We both walk up the stairs with Tyson behind us, chuckling at Sam.

Nearing my door, I hear familiar moans coming from a room. I open my door, praying it’s not someone in my bed, but freeze midway when I hear it.

“Yes baby, mmmm! Keep going, Knox! Right... there, mmmm! Oh my god, baby!” Hearing that familiar nasally high-pitched squeak of a voice, I turn to face Sam and feel the blood drain from my body.

She stares at me, confused, then it quickly turns to anger.

No! No! No! Not again! Please, not again.

Sam grabs the handle and pushes the door open. There they were, in all their naked glory. Knox is on top of Lauren, pumping into her. Not again. My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach.

I hear Sam gasp loudly and Knox snaps his head around to us. I’m just standing there, frozen, with my mind going blank. Feeling the heaviness of my organs sinking me lower into the floor.

“Shit!” Knox grabs the sheets to cover himself while she’s still on display for all to see. I make eye contact with him and I run. Run down the stairs and grab the keys, getting déjà vu.

But I’m driving alone. I need to be alone.

“Alex!” I hear him behind me but I shut the car door and lock myself in it, fumbling with the keys, trying to put them in the ignition. I feel my tears leak from my eyes.

The sound of feet stomping on the stones and I turn the keys in the ignition and sit back. Pulling out of the driveway, I see him running to me, screaming, but I can’t hear anything.

Everything is mute and happening so fast. Making brief eye contact with him, he sees the hurt I’m feeling and stops running instantly. His eyes bore into mine and time stood still for a moment.

Hurt is an understatement of how I feel right now. I was just another one of those girls to him. He played me. I let him play me like a fucking fiddle. I should’ve seen this coming.

I drove off down the road, passing cars on the street. I had no idea where I was going, but I needed to be alone. Rubbing my forehead, like I was trying to rid the image of what I just walked in on.

Feeling the hot sensation of the friction between my skin. I can’t seem to stop crying so my vision is blurry. My phone keeps buzzing with Sam’s, Tyson’s, and his name.

I should’ve stayed away from him. I shouldn’t have gone on that stupid date with him. I shouldn’t have let him fuck me. I shouldn’t have let him in.

I shouldn’t have let him in.

Feeling the tears drop down my neck, I can’t get the image of them together having sex out of my head. I regret it all, every single part of it. He played me. He made it look like he actually cared for me, and she was in on it.

I park somewhere and lag out of the car. Looking around, I see huge black gates in front of me, and I immediately recognize them from the pictures I researched about this place.

The countless nights of googling the directions from my house and memorizing them. My mind subconsciously brought me here in a state of instability, to a place where I’ve never been before.

The cemetery.

Where my granddad, Pop, is buried.

I laugh to myself through the tears shed and unshed. “I think it’s about time too, Pop,” I say, shutting the car door. I hear the crunch of the stones against my shoe soles.

Then I’m met with green grass with weeds and some flowers growing in sparse places. Lavender, yellow, and burnt orange are the dominant colors surrounding the gateway.

I continue to walk into the graveyard to find the stone I’m looking for. Twenty minutes later, I succeed. It’s closer to the sea, and you can spot the lighthouse he brought me to, twinkling in the distance.

Small, but it’s there. I start to cry all over again, except harder. Collapsing to the ground where the grass catches me on my way down, I sit on my knees and cry. Wailing alone in the night.

I sit on his grave to be closer to him and place my back to the cold marbled stone that is engraved with a message I can’t make out.

I take a moment to appreciate the floral tributes people have left for him. But I can’t make out the words on any of the cards because my tears blur my vision.

I remember the shock on his face when the three of us inadvertently walked in on a live porn scene. I didn’t need to see that. My heart leapt into my throat and I felt my strength drain away.

I thought I was going to faint. But my legs, seemingly with a mind of their own, propelled me towards the car. The look on his face when he saw mine. His eyes were wide, a deep shade of blue.

My heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest when I saw that look. It shouldn’t be a surprise, Alex. Every guy who likes you eventually gets bored and moves on to some other girl who’s willing to spread her legs for them.

I should’ve seen it coming. I knew it was too good to be true.

I sit on my grandfather’s grave in silence, letting the darkness envelop me as my mind races. ~What’s wrong with me? Why do they stop liking me? What did I do?~

I sit there, my sobs growing louder over time, pulling my knees up to my chin and rocking myself back and forth. My phone keeps buzzing in my hand, but I can’t bring myself to look at it.

I just can’t.

Hours later, it’s pitch black and I realize I’ve been locked in. Checking my phone, I see the numerous missed calls and messages from everyone. The time reads 3:26 a.m.

I’ve been here for over eight hours.

I didn’t even notice the sun setting. I’ve been crying for that long. It stopped ten minutes ago and now all I feel is numbness. Technically, it’s not a feeling at all. But I feel nothing.

I’ve been rocking myself back and forth, my back hitting the headstone.

~Why am I crying over him? Why does everything that involves him go from zero to one hundred? Get it together. He didn’t like you, he just used you. Get over it. Move on. Focus on yourself.~

He’s been nothing but a piece of shit to me my whole life. The act was very convincing in New York. Bravo, Knox and Lauren, you both deserve each other. You had me fooled for a second.

~Maybe you should go back to Cali and see Ben?~

But now, I don’t want to see their smug faces. I swear, if Lauren makes a comment towards me, I’ll punch her face through the wall.

I stand up, brushing the grass off my jeans, and start looking for a way out of the cemetery. This place is starting to creep me out.

I find a gap in the bars surrounding the cemetery and manage to slip through, sucking in my stomach. I pat my pocket to check for my phone and keys.

Feeling both items, I hop into my car and drive back to the house. Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I see my swollen cheeks and puffy eyes.

My hair is a mess and my nose is red from rubbing it. I can faintly make out the love bite he gave me that night, which I had successfully covered.

I regret it. All of it.