Chapter 79

He will never be my father to me. He won’t change, and neither will my opinion of him.

“Dad! I’m your fucking father!” He roars at me. “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. You know what they say, third time’s a charm!” He smirks evilly over the nurse.

I don’t say anything in return. He’s lost his mind. You can see it in him. I walk out of the room, back to my own bed, feeling a sense of relief that I finally understand why he targeted me all those years.

It’s because I have the same mind as him. I was as smart as him from a young age. It got me in trouble, it always did. But now I know. He hated me because I was like him.

A few hours later, I’m discharged from the hospital. My brothers protectively escort me to the car, where my sister Sam hasn’t stopped silently crying. I feel bad for her.

The whole ride home, I feel a pair of blue eyes on me. I join in with Sam’s silent cries, resting my head in my hands as tears trickle down my cheeks and neck. Today was too much. Too much for everyone.

It starts to rain, accompanied by a loud clap of thunder. It’s as if the car is crying along with me and Sam.

When we reach the house, the driveway is packed, so we park on the curb. Everyone runs for shelter into the house, except me. I stand by the car, holding onto the door handle, staring at my reflection in the window.

“Alex! Get inside before you catch a cold!” My mother’s voice echoes from the front door.

My hair, soaked from the rain, clings to my face. My skin is pale, and the strap of my dress has slipped off my shoulder.

I’m a mess. I feel like one, too.

“Alex!” My mother’s voice rings out again. I catch sight of his reflection in the window behind me. Those eyes. The only eyes I can’t resist. His face is relaxed, devoid of any tension.

He places his hand on my back, his voice barely above a whisper, “Let’s watch the sunset.”

We walk side by side around my house, the rain pouring down around us. He opens the gate for me, and my foot splashes into a puddle. I don’t mind. The water is warm.

Reaching the sandy shore, we sit down in the wet sand. Despite the rain, it’s still warm. We watch as the rain gradually eases up, the setting sun painting the sky in hues that contrast sharply with the day I’ve had.

“Hey Pop. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had. Or the birthday, for that matter. I thought I was going to be joining you up there today...” I chuckle to myself.

I can feel Knox’s gaze on me. I know he thinks I’ve lost my mind.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. Especially today... I miss you. I could really use a hug. One from you. I would give anything to hear your voice again.”

As the sun finally dips below the horizon, we’re plunged into darkness.

The day has ended. The night has begun. We sit in silence once more. I hear Knox shuffle around beside me, and moments later, I’m enveloped in a warm piece of clothing.

He sits behind me, wrapping his arms around me, rubbing my arms to generate some warmth. I have my own arms wrapped around my knees, pulled up to my chest.

I lean back against his firm, comforting chest. He rests his chin on my shoulder, planting a kiss on my temple. I’ve missed his touch. I’ve missed his kisses. I’ve missed him. So much.

“I’ll always be here for you, Alex. No matter what happens.” I nod, understanding his protective nature. As we sit in the wet sand, a chill sets in, and I shiver slightly from the sudden drop in temperature.

We decide to head back inside to the warmth. As I slide the door open, I’m immediately enveloped in a hug from two bodies, the scent of vanilla and a hint of lavender filling the air.

I know they’re my best friends. I hug them back tightly, smiling as I tell them I need to take a quick shower and that I’ll be back down soon. I also need to call Ben.

I haven’t spoken with him in a while. Well, since yesterday, when he messaged me to wish me a happy birthday and said he’d call later.

I head upstairs and decide to run a bath instead of a shower. I fill the tub with piping hot water, just the way I like it. Slipping into the water, I feel my muscles relax.

I lather my skin with some lavender wash, letting it foam on my arms and legs. I lean back against the white tub, sinking down until I’m comfortable.

I’ve left my door unlocked, but it’s closed. The bubbles in the tub cover my bare skin. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes to enjoy the peace and quiet.

I miss his touch. The way my skin tingles when his fingers brush against it. I think back to that night. The night we...

The look in his eyes. I can’t get that look out of my head. An emotion I can’t pinpoint. I’ve seen it a few times in my life with him. But I could never figure out what he was thinking at that time.

I miss the way he held me afterward. The way his arms engulfed me, never letting go. Cradling me as if I were made of glass and about to shatter at any moment.

The feeling of our skin touching as I lay on top of him. His hands tracing circles on my back. I’ve been craving nothing but him since we came back. But I can’t have him. He’s taken.

~Come on, you’re stronger than this, Alex.~

I need some release. I need to feel that pleasure again. I need to feel that pressure between my hips. I open my eyes and spot the shower head hanging over the bathtub.

I remember using it to wash out Lena’s hair when she got yellow paint in it.

Sam told me she uses it in the tub when she needs release. I turn it on, pushing it under the water and positioning it in front of my throbbing clit. The sensation is delicious.

“Oh shit!” I whisper to myself, my eyes closing once more. I let my body succumb to the pleasure beneath the water. Damn, this feels good. I bite down on my lip to suppress a moan.

My head leans back against the tub, my hips starting to quiver. I’m so close already. The jets of water play with my nub, building pressure within me.

My breathing quickens as I near the edge. “Oh fuck!” I moan out, making sure to keep my voice down. The thrill of trying to stay quiet is exciting. As I near my peak, I bite down hard, and I reach my climax. My toes curl, squeaking against the tub.

My eyes are tightly shut, and I can picture those blue eyes as I climax. My legs collapse inward as the orgasm rips through my body without mercy.

I whisper ‘yes’s’ through my ragged breathing, the orgasm lasting longer than I expected. Until I can’t keep the shower head pointed at my clit any longer, my hands let go, and I sink further into the water.

My chest rises and falls, the water lapping at my chin. I gasp for air, trying to fill my lungs. My body is still pulsing from my release. I needed that. Badly.

All I could see were those eyes.

His eyes.

I couldn’t stop myself.

~Why am I so weak when it comes to him?~ I pondered, slipping into leggings and a cozy jumper. I tugged on my fluffy socks and padded down the stairs, drawn to the kitchen by the sounds of cooking and the laughter of children.

The room was buzzing with activity, everyone trying to ignore the elephant in the room, trying to get everything back to normal. But in the back of my mind, the memory lingered. Every time I entered this room, I would always remember.

“Alex! Look what I’m making you!” Adam’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. He waved me over to inspect his handiwork. I saw the cookie dough rolled out, heart shapes cut out and arranged on a baking tray.

“Aww, thank you, Adam, you’re so sweet! Best boyfriend ever... wait a minute, what happened to your brownies?” I teased, raising an eyebrow playfully. His laughter filled the room, his hands covering his mouth.

I scooped him up, peppering his face with kisses while he giggled uncontrollably. I tickled his tiny ribs, causing his arms to flail around in delight.

Pausing to let him catch his breath, he planted a kiss on my cheek, his small arm wrapped around my neck.

“They’re in the...” he trailed off, looking to his mom for help. “Oven,” she finished for him.

“They’re in the oven.”

“I can’t wait to try them! They smell delicious. And these cookies look yummy too! I’m going to be fat by the end of today thanks to your yummy treats!” I tickled him lightly, his laughter music to my ears.

Being back in the kitchen felt surreal. Only a few hours ago, my life could’ve ended. I glanced at the spot where I had stood, the corner of the counter nearest to the door.

The police had taken my statement at the hospital, but they wanted me to come to the station to sign off. They were kind about it all, and I was grateful that a bullet had come through the kitchen window and hit the right side of his chest.