Chapter 82

My mom sits at the table opposite me, sliding an omelet and a mug of coffee across to me. I need the caffeine, even though I’m not a huge fan of the taste. It keeps me awake.

As I eat my omelet, I realize I don’t eat as much anymore. I fill up faster than usual. So, effectively, I’ve lost weight. I’m not complaining, but it hasn’t been over a long period of time.

I look like a mess.

“What happened?” My mom’s fingers toyed with the handle of her mug as she fixed her gaze on me. Despite getting some rest, she looked worn out today.

She’d been helping Sam a lot more than me lately, and Sam was being incredibly understanding about it all.

I continued to slice my omelet, forking it into my mouth and swallowing hard.

“You saw it. Everyone did—”

“Not that, Alex. What happened with you and Knox?”

“Nothing,” I grumbled, repeating my motions. I took a sip of my coffee, wincing at the strength of it. Just what I needed.

“Alex, you can talk to me. I’m your mom, I’ll always support you.”

“Mom, seriously, it’s nothing. I found out he didn’t like me.”

“What do you mean you found out he didn’t like you? Of course, he likes you, baby!” She whispered across the table, pushing the newspaper out of her way as if it was an obstacle.

“He doesn’t, Mom. He didn’t. Let’s drop it. I don’t want to—”

“Alex! Tell me! I deserve to know....” she pleaded.

“I walked in on him with Lauren. With Sam and Tyson.... there, that’s it. Now you know. The end.” I heard a small gasp escape her lips as she looked at me, pity filling her eyes.

“I’m sorry, baby—”

“Don’t be, I don’t care. It was my mistake to let him play me like the rest of those girls.”

“You’re not like those girls, Alex.”

“To him, I was,” I stated matter-of-factly. “Like I said, I don’t care.” I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t care anymore. I’d given up on guys, I couldn’t seem to keep one interested in me.

I’d given up on dating. Given up on trying. I wasn’t wasting any more time on them.

She reached across the table to take my hand. Her motherly touch had always comforted me, but today, for some reason, I felt detached.

I’d been struggling the past few days. It had been rough. Emotionally, I’d detached myself from the people around me. This year had not been my year.

Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I looked back at my mom and offered her a weak smile. That’s when Delilah entered through the back door, humming a tune before realizing we were both sitting at the table.

“I knew I smelt coffee,” she smiled at the freshly brewed pot and took a mug from the cabinet to join us. As she sat next to my mom, she noticed her hand on mine and her smile faltered.

“Am I interrupting something?” She asked, lowering herself slowly into the seat.

“No.”

“We were just talking about your son, Delilah,” my mom and I said simultaneously. I’ll give you one guess as to who said what.

“Oh? Which one and what has he done?” She poured the brown liquid into her white mug.

“Mom, drop it,” I whispered to her. Delilah put down the coffee and eyed me.

“It’s Knox, isn’t it? Is it about why you two aren’t talking?” Delilah asked, but I stayed silent.

“What happened? You two were full of life when we were in the hospital. Both blushing and smiling at each other. Now you can’t even look at him?” She twirled the mug around so she could grip the handle and take a sip.

My mom knew I didn’t want to tell Delilah. I sighed and she spoke for me, “She walked in on him with Lauren when she, Sam, and Tyson came home from the hospital.”

The reaction on Delilah’s face told me that nobody had told her about it. She nearly choked on her drink, patting her chest while coughing slightly.

“He what?” She managed to get out, struggling to breathe. Her question made no sense really. Leaning back in her chair, she looked up at the ceiling. “What a stupid boy!”

She exhaled, “I thought you changed your mind and were avoiding him. That’s why he got back with... IT.” I couldn’t help but laugh at what she referred to Lauren as.

“Funny, I used to call him IT.”

“Great minds think alike, sweetie,” her head dropped back down to meet my gaze. “God, I don’t like that girl one bit. She brings out the worst in him. I’ve been arguing with him the past few weeks. He’s been a pain in my ass.”

And mine, I thought to myself. That’s when Andy entered the room. She sat down next to me, screeching her chair closer. I gave her a questioning look.

Smiling sheepishly back, I watched as she reached for my fork and proceeded to eat the rest of my omelet. “You just sat here to eat my omelet, didn’t you?”

She nodded, grinning at me as she continued to eat. I slid the plate across in front of her.

“What are we talking about?” she asked innocently.

“My stupid son getting back together with IT,” Delilah huffed angrily.

“You told them?” Andy snapped her head to me and I nodded in reply. I sat back in my seat and brought my legs up to my chest. “Yeah, well he’s blind and a dick, no offense Delilah,” she defended herself.

“None taken, sweetie. My son is an idiot. He’s insulted me by getting back with that awful girl... speaking of... here she comes.”

I rolled my eyes at her perfect timing. The back door slid open. I found it so annoying that she entered my family home whenever she wanted. My jaw automatically clenched out of frustration.

“Morning,” she strutted in, the sound of her heels hitting the floor echoing in the room.

I find myself gazing at my mother, who is scrutinizing her with an intensity that’s rare. My mother and Delilah are usually easy to please, but when they aren’t, it’s unmistakable.

We all mumble a morning greeting back to her. She takes a seat with us, but the conversation stalls.

“Were you discussing wedding plans? I could lend a hand if you’d like,” she offers, her smile as polished as the one that won her the Miss USA title.

“No, we’ve got it covered,” my mother responds, her gaze sweeping over the blonde bombshell before us. The room falls silent again. This is awkward.

The back door slides open once more, and in walks Knox. He’s shirtless, black basketball shorts hanging low on his hips. His face is flushed from exertion, earphones plugged in, blasting music we can all hear.

Sweat trickles down his chiseled abs, his phone strapped to his arm. He removes it and unplugs his earphones. God, he looks so good.

~Stop that!~

Our eyes meet, and I find it impossible to look away. Lauren rises to greet him with a kiss, but he sidesteps, offering his cheek instead. “Morning, babe,” he replies with a tight smile.

Andy swivels in her seat to face me as Knox pours himself a cup of coffee. I can’t help but watch the play of muscles on his back. He takes a seat at the head of the table, between my mother and me.

“So... I was thinking—” Andy begins, her gaze on Knox.

“Oh no, that’s never good—Ow!” She smacks my arm, pulling my attention back to her.

“As I was saying, I think we should have a girls’ night out tonight. Get all dolled up and hit the club. Just us girls.”

“I don’t know, Andy...I—” I’m unsure about the whole girls’ night out idea.

“I think it would be good for you, Alex. Flirt with some older guys,” my mother suggests, her eyes flicking to Knox. I know what she’s doing. I shake my head, aware of both his and Lauren’s eyes on me.

“Yeah! I can do your hair and makeup! Make you look drop-dead gorgeous... not that you aren’t... but make you so hot the guys will be all over you.”

Lauren snorts from the other end of the table, prompting Delilah to ask, “Is there something funny, Lauren?” Lauren shakes her head, and Delilah smirks. “I didn’t think so.”

I bite my lip to suppress a smile. Delilah is not a woman you want to cross. Ever.

“I think you should go, Alex, sweetie. Get a few numbers, chat up some handsome guys. Have a fling or two...” Delilah winks at me.

“That’s her decision,” Knox interjects, his voice low as he sips his coffee. From the corner of my eye, I see him looking at his mother. I can’t tell if he’s angry or indifferent.

“That is her decision. And if she wants to get with guys, she can, and she will,” Andy retorts, giving him a pointed look.

“I’m right here, you know!” I protest, raising my hand as they bicker about whether I’m going out tonight. I rest my head in my hands, weighing the pros and cons.

Should I go out? Or should I stay in and watch a movie? Binge-watch Netflix?

A hand rests on my arm, pulling me back to reality. My mother leans over the table.

“You should go out and take your sister with you. She needs a distraction from the wedding. Blow off some steam. You both need to.

Go out with your girlfriends, chat up some hot guys, single or not! Let them buy you drinks, dance with them, kiss them, I don’t care. Just go out tonight. It’ll be good for you, baby,” she says, her signature cheeky wink in place.

I turn to Andy, who’s propping her head up with her hands, her eyes pleading.

“Fine, I’ll go! But we have to get Hannah, Sam, and all her friends out too!” Andy nods rapidly, posting the plan in the girls’ group chat.

“Done and done! Oh my god! I’m so excited! It’s been a while since I’ve been out with my best friends! First round of shots is on me!”

She claps her hands together, grinning like she’s won the lottery. She finishes off my omelet, and I lean back in my chair.

Sipping the bitter coffee, I feel my eyelids growing heavy. I stifle a yawn.

“Maybe you should go upstairs and lie down for a bit, Alex? You look exhausted,” my mother suggests, her voice filled with concern. I miss my mom.

“I won’t sleep. I don’t sleep anymore—”

“Go up and try, baby. Even for thirty minutes.” The screech of a chair interrupts us. Knox rises to his feet, announcing he’s going for a shower.

I sit and ponder whether I should go and lie down. I really should, but I know I’ll have a nightmare. Like always.

After ten minutes of listening to the gossip around the table, with Lauren silent, I decide to head upstairs. I kick my door closed and crawl back into the cool sheets.

Pulling them over my body, I lay on my side, my back to the door. Spots of light filter in through the blinds, brightening the room slightly.

My door opens and then closes. I hear the click of the lock and the soft tread of footsteps approaching my bed. I feel a dip in the mattress beside me. A heavy arm snakes around my waist, pulling me against a familiar hard body.

He nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck, leaving a small peck on my skin. I shiver under his touch. God, I miss him.

A few moments slipped by as I wrestled with the decision to face him or not. I chose to face him. Just one more cuddle. That’s all I craved. Just one more.

So, I turned to my side to face him, and his bright blue eyes met mine. Our faces were so close, our breaths mingling.

“Hey,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. He reached out to brush a loose strand of hair from my weary face.

“Hi,” I responded. He drew me closer to his chest, and I rested my cheek against it, feeling his warmth envelop me. Our legs entwined, and I shifted closer to him.

Breathing in his cologne, my stomach twisted in knots. This was exactly what I needed. His arms cradled me just like they used to.

“I miss this, baby doll,” he murmured, resting his chin on the top of my head. I kissed his chest involuntarily, feeling him tense for a moment before relaxing and returning the kiss on my head.

Although I missed it too, I couldn’t tell him that. I remained silent, feeling my body surrender to exhaustion and drift into a deep sleep.