Chapter 86

Alex

I’m alive you’ll be happy to know

Matt

Hallelujah! Glad to finally have your number :)

Alex

I think I scared them... :)

Matt

Yeah, you give off the don’t fuck with me vibe. That’s why I’m so nice to you :)

Alex

Yeah, I get that a lot! Anywho I’m going for a swim. I’ll text you later xx

Matt

Bye Alex xx

As I leave the kitchen, people start to trickle out of the living room. I change into a swimsuit and spray lotion on my body. It’s time for me and the ocean to have a little one-on-one time.

I glance out the window to see rain falling from dark grey clouds. It won’t stop me. As a kid, I used to run outside and race around with my brothers in the rain.

I’m going to go swimming in the rain. I always loved doing that, whether it was in a pool or the sea.

As I step back into the hallway and close my door, I’m suddenly pulled into a room, a hard chest against my back. Arms wrap around mine, restricting my movements.

The door shuts behind me, locking with a familiar click. I sigh and roll my eyes, staring hard at the door as if it might magically open. It won’t.

“If you pull a stunt like that again, I won’t be held responsible for my actions, baby doll,” a husky voice warns, laced with authority and anger. His hot breath brushes against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.

“What I choose to do is none of your concern,” I retort, struggling to free myself from his hold. He’s too strong. So I just give in. His arms loosen, and he turns me around to face him, his blue eyes boring into mine.

“Do you know how worried I was? When I see the rest of the girls come home but not you! And for them to tell me you went home with a guy... but not just any guy, the guy who flirted with you at the beach!”

His tone is low and disapproving, making me shudder.

“Like I said, it’s none of your damn concern! Worry about your own girlfriend, Knox. Stay out of my business.”

I spin on my heel to walk towards the door, but he pulls me back, his hands resting on my waist to keep me there. I run my hands through my hair in frustration.

This isn’t fair. Why is he doing this to me? I need to get over that night. I need to get over him. But I can’t do that if he keeps doing this kind of stuff to me.

“She’s not my fucking girlfriend, Alex! It is my concern, I’ve made it my concern. If you do this shit again, I will hunt you down and drag you out, along with beating the shit out of the guy who touches you!”

He steps even closer to me, and I can feel his heat radiating onto me. I step back, trying to put some distance between us.

“Stop! Just stop it! Leave me alone. I can do what I want. Who I get with is none of your business, Knox! You’re with someone! So stop fucking around with me.”

I place my hands on his chest, pushing him back away from me. He’s too close. I start to pace back towards the door, but he grabs my wrists and pulls me back to him once more.

I’m fighting every urge to give in to him. I can’t give in to him. But it’s so hard. Why is it so hard?

“Alex—” he begins softly, making my eyes drift upwards to meet his.

“Stop, Knox. Please. You’ve moved on, so let me.” I remove his hands from mine and walk out the door, leaving him alone in the room. What he did wasn’t fair.

I find myself walking down the stairs, the carpet giving way to the cool tiled floor beneath my bare feet. I mindlessly walk back to the kitchen.

I walk past the couples arguing, most likely about me, because they stop when I walk by. I slide the door open and step outside, ready to go swimming.

“It’s raining,” Cole calls out behind me.

“I’m getting wet anyway.” I close the door behind me and keep walking. The cold, damp sand meets my feet as I dodge the shells sticking out of the sand. The cool rain splashes on my skin.

The air is pleasantly warm as I approach the water, taking a deep, measured breath. Holding it in, I feel my heartbeat slow, a steady rhythm against my chest. I step into the shallow water, calm and inviting.

Small waves ripple towards me as I continue to wade deeper into the sea.

Alone. Finally.

No boys. No girls. No couples.

Just me.

I let the water rise against my body, the chill of it seeping into my skin. I feel the waves lap against me intermittently, my hands skimming the surface of the water.

Lifting my hand, I watch as droplets of seawater fall from my skin, creating ripples as they rejoin the ocean. I submerge myself completely, crouching under the water.

Resurfacing, I watch as the rain begins to fall, each drop disappearing into the vast expanse of the ocean. I look around to find the beach deserted. It’s not a day for beach-goers, but that doesn’t deter me.

After what feels like hours in the water, I remain undisturbed. It’s exactly what I needed. Just me and the silence.

~Why is my life a car crash?~ I ask myself. Everything was going so well. Now, it’s spiraling out of control. One disaster after another. I’ve reached a point where I expect it.

When something good happens, something bad inevitably follows, canceling it out.

I can’t wait for this summer to be over. I just want to return to college, earn my degree, and put as much distance between him and me as possible. Forget about him.

Forget about all of this.

I plan to leave once the wedding is over. That’s the only reason I’m here. It’s four days away.

Sam is in charge of the bachelorette party. It’s going to be just the girls, our moms, and some of her WAG friends.

The party is the night before the wedding, but the ceremony doesn’t start until four-thirty in the evening. That gives her and Tyson time to recover from their respective bachelor and bachelorette parties.

I’ve had my night of reckless drinking. It’s out of my system. I don’t need another one. My sister will be the one getting wasted, not me.

This wedding is going to be the death of me. She’s the epitome of a bridezilla. But I understand—she’s a perfectionist and wants her wedding to be perfect.

I really shouldn’t be complaining about my life. I’m healthy. I have a roof over my head. Food is readily available.

Meanwhile, people around the world struggle to find food every day. They suffer from life-threatening illnesses. They’re homeless, with no friends or family.

And here I am, sulking in the water over a guy.

I snort at the absurdity of it all and decide it’s time to leave the water. I sit on the wet sand, letting the rain wash over me.

Crossing my legs and leaning back on my hands, I gaze at the horizon, where blue skies stretch out far ahead of me. I’m stuck under a dark grey cloud. Literally.

My hands and feet are wrinkled like prunes. I trace shapes and patterns in the sand with my index finger, the sound of the water lapping against the shore soothing in its quiet stillness.

As I make my way back to the house, I notice a group of muscular men on the deck. Athletes, perhaps?

A whistle sounds as I approach the stairs, and I climb them, holding onto the railing. The men, all towering over six feet, are gathered around my deck, their gazes following me. I can feel my cheeks heating up under their scrutiny.

I’m soaking wet, and they’re all dry.

I probably look like a drowned rat.

Their stares make me want to bolt. There are no towels on the deck, and I have to use the outdoor shower before I can go inside. My mom hates sand in the kitchen.

I turn on the shower and step under the spray. Their eyes are still on me, but then I see a pair of familiar brown ones. Caleb. Gorgeous Caleb.

He’s watching me shower, and he waves. His eyes seem to take in every inch of me. I tilt my head back, letting the water rush over my hair, and manage a tight smile in response.

Once I’m done, I walk under the roof of the deck where they’re all gathered and grab the only available towel.

“Hey, Alex!” Caleb breaks the silence, approaching me.

“Hey, Caleb,” I reply, wringing out my hair and dabbing it dry with the towel.

“Long time no see?” He takes a sip of his beer.

“Yeah, sorry about New Year. I didn’t know they were going to drag you away...” I smile awkwardly, remembering Knox and Wes pulling him away from me after our kiss.

“It’s cool! Wish I got your number though! I was in Cali a few times after New Year. Wanted to meet up with you, but Knox threatened me way too many times. But now that he’s back with Lauren, maybe we can hang out? You could show me around here? I’ve never been to Savannah before.”

He crosses his arms, his toned body even more pronounced. His hair is tousled by the wind, giving him a boy-next-door look. His brown eyes are focused on me, my reflection visible in them.

“Really? Next time you’re in Cali, we can hang out! Ignore him, he’s a dick—”

“I’m not a dick, baby doll,” a voice interrupts, sending a shiver up my spine. I freeze beside Caleb, choosing to ignore the arrogant interruption and continue my conversation with Caleb.

“Anyway, I can definitely show you around here! I didn’t know you guys would be here today. I wouldn’t have gone swimming for hours!” I adjust the straps of my bikini and pat my skin dry with the towel.

“You won’t have time to show him around,” he interjects again, but I continue to ignore him. Caleb’s eyes flicker between me and, I presume, Knox, who is standing behind me.

Once Caleb’s gaze settles back on me, I roll my eyes, causing him to chuckle before he takes another sip of his beer.

“There’s plenty of time. I have all the time in the world for Caleb,” I tease, causing Caleb to suppress a grin behind his beer.

“Great! Good to know I’m top priority!” He winks at me playfully, knowing exactly where this is heading.

“There’s no time to—” he begins again, trying to assert that I won’t be showing Caleb around. But it’s none of his business.

“Perfect! Here, give me your phone so I can give you my number and we can text to make plans.” I cut him off, extending my hand for Caleb to hand me his phone.

Caleb fumbles in his pocket, retrieves his phone, and hands it to me. As I begin to enter my number, I feel a hot breath on my shoulder and see his reflection on the phone screen.

Once I’ve finished entering my number, I give myself a name: Alex ❤️.

That should piss him off. I feel a huff of air on the back of my neck and just as I’m about to hand the phone back to Caleb, a hand snatches it away. He deletes my number and tosses the phone back to Caleb.

Caleb checks the screen and his brows furrow. “Did you just delete her number?” He asks Knox, irritation creeping into his tone.

“I did,” he replies, amusement lacing his voice. “I can see why you think he’s a dick... I’ll give you mine later and then you can text me yours?”

His brow remains furrowed, clearly irritated by the situation. Knox just loves to ruin everything.

“No, you won’t,” he tells Caleb, who is growing increasingly frustrated with Knox.

“What is your deal, bro? You’re with Lauren! Why can’t I have her number?” Caleb steps closer to Knox, and I place my hand on his arm, trying to calm him down.

“Caleb, I’ll get your number later. It’s fine, it’s none of his business. Just ignore him. I do,” I soothe, stroking his arm to distract him from Knox and refocus his attention.

The sound of the sliding door interrupts us, and I see Kyle making his way outside. He stands tall, immediately noticing the tension between the two guys.

Breaking eye contact with them, he looks at me, his expression softening.

“Can I talk with you for a minute?” He asks so gently that it catches me off guard. I nod, releasing my grip on Caleb’s arm, and follow him inside.

We both walk up to my room and Kyle closes the door while I wrap myself up in the towel I had left on the deck. The silence between us isn’t awkward. It’s comforting.

“Sis, I’m sorry I snapped at you. I shouldn’t have said what I said. You’re not one of those girls, you never were and never will be. I— I just... don’t want any guys to treat you like that.

When you didn’t come home, I panicked and then Andy told me you went home with some guy, I freaked out a little. You’re my baby sister. I want to protect you.

I know you’re pissed at me, but please just understand where I’m coming from. I trust you, I just don’t trust guys. I’m one, I know how they think....”

I rush towards my brother and hug his waist, and he wraps his arms around me in return. I’m still wrapped up in the towel. I can’t stay mad at him, he’s one of my best friends and my closest brother.

“I know you’re sorry, Kyle. I’m sorry for snapping too. I’m just finding things hard right now. I just wanted to forget about it all for one night. Just one night. Matt is a really good guy.

We just cuddled and made out a little, but we didn’t have sex. He dropped me home because he didn’t want me getting a cab home alone. I get that you freaked when I didn’t come home.

But I don’t need you watching my every move. I can’t live like that. It’s too much. I’ll end up like him. Paranoid, and that’s not what I want,” I mumble into his shirt, breathing in his familiar cologne.

He begins to stroke my head, soothing me. I close my eyes. He always knows how to comfort me.

“I love you, Alex,” he murmurs, swaying gently from side to side, cradling me in his arms. We could never stay mad at each other for more than a day. One of us always caved. Usually, it was Kyle.

“I love you too, Kyle,” I whisper into his shirt, letting him rock me. This is the one thing I’ve missed. Being held by someone.

When Drew held me in his arms, I forgot where I was. I stayed in the present, savoring the memory of him holding me in his loving arms.

Now, I don’t get to feel that anymore. It’s a different kind of love when it’s your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband holding you. But I’ll settle for this.

“I’m going to presume you two are lying dead on the floor in there? Because I’m not cleaning that up!” Andy’s voice echoes from outside the door.

We release breathy chuckles and Kyle leans back to open the door, revealing Andy standing there in his hoodie and leggings. He extends a hand to her, inviting her to join us.

She hugs both of us and Kyle grins, “My girls,” he murmurs, planting a kiss on both our heads while holding us tight.

“I love you, Andy,” he murmurs into her hair, and she freezes. I freeze too, taken aback by his bold declaration. We both pull back, staring wide-eyed at him. I glance over at Andy, shocked that those words have just left my brother’s mouth.

Tears start to stream down her face, and he begins to panic. “Shit! I’m sorry, you don’t have to say it back. I—I just... shit! I ruined it, didn’t I?” He covers his face, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Kyle has never said those words to any girl before, at least not outside of our family. Andy continues to let the tears fall down her flawless face, and she reaches up to gently remove his hands from his face.

They stare at each other for a few moments, and I feel like an intruder. “Do you mean it?” she manages to ask through her tears. He slowly nods, unsure if she’s about to start crying again.

“You don’t have to say it back. I just thought it would be a good time to tell you... It’s cool if—”

“I love you too!” she interrupts, whispering the words just after he confirms his feelings. His eyes widen, and they both break into lovesick grins. He leans in to kiss her, and I let go of the moment.